The Gate

Sweet!
is there any doubt at all?

No. I got what I wanted.

excellent. how does it feel to see this?
what changed and what hasn't
how would you describe in your own words what this illusion of separate self is, how does it start?

sending love.

Its a little disorienting, kind of scary, but peaceful at the same time.
Change is the only constant right? haha
Nothing has changed. For "me" personally, Id say I feel pretty indifferent.
I used to care what people thought about me. That's out the window.
The best way I can put it:
Where you go there you are.
A separate self is an illusion put on us, since were very little.
In order for there to be something, perception has to to exist.
There has to be 0, so there can be 1.
There has to be silence, for there to be noise.
Left for there to be right.
All there ever is, is silence.
Theres the void. then theres everything coming out of the void.
To argue with what comes of it, or what happens, is complete and total insanity.
The separate self, is simply an error.
A very stupid one.
TI all starts with a story. Then the story grows and grows, until you live for the story.
Then your a full blown adult, with this story.
Some people have good stories, some have bad ones.
usually the ones with the bad ones, chase awakening.
Its a blessing. But its also gonna take adjusting.
Any advice, on how to adjust? Or how to not lose touch with the "people" in this world.
I just want to maintain the ability to socialize and make friends.
As I feel this is all that is left.

And you very much for answer, it was delightful to read. :)
Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from recent experience.
How does it all look now?

lol yes, very delightful.
You know.
I peered my head and got a glimpse of the "infinite"
And I think Im gonna stop this journey right here, before I see more, or realize more and I lose my sense of self, or find out something I may not like.
So far it makes sense that there is only awareness, aware of everything that is happening.
and I get the sense, that Im an imposter.
I like things as a dream character, and I get an eerie sense that for my own good I should just stop.
I don't want to end up not being able to function as an adult or socialize or whatever.
But at the end, im sure it doesn't really matter.
Thank you for your willingness to help.

Good idea to stop and rest. Let it sink in.
But... This is only a beginning.. You like it or not, exploration further happens. This seeing is only a first step. And you can't stop life from happening. So stay open.

Nothing that is real disappears, only beliefs drop. After the initial seeing all beliefs that were connected to this core belief in separate being starts to fall. Hold on to nothing, and the ride will be smoother.

You are of course free to walk away and get on with life. But you are welcome to finish this conversation whenever it takes and join LU community.

Either way, welcome home.
Much love.

Thank you for the guidance.
And yes, your right about that.
No stopping the rabbit hole now.
I intend on walking "backwards" into the light, and accept whatever comes my way openly.
Talk to you soon.
Thanks again, much love.

How is it going, Frank?
would you like to finish this chat and join LU community on facebook?

much love

Yea, lets finish. lol

I was thinking over what we talked about. It seems like ...the nature of ..everything...is.....whats ...happening...next....it just...goes..on..and on... There is no "self"....just...thoughts..breathing.....kind of like a movie. Even with language...we need to get to the end of the sentence, to form a complete thought. Although things are happening, awareness is aware of it...but nothing changes awareness.

ok, here are some questions for you. :)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Please answer in full, when ready.

Much love.

1) There never is. There is an illusion of it, since the way existence as a human works is, things happening, which awareness is aware of. From a wrong perspective, it can look like there is an I.

2) I think it starts when were very little. We kind of "forget" that life is just events taking place, consecutively. Nobody is living life, there is only "life". The self, is also things happening. We become identified with the "self", through mental concept blocks of emotions, images, physical postures, and create stories out of it through the use of language. The guy making the story is also made up. The only thing thats real, is awareness. (the best way I can describe that which is). The way I see it, is that I AM. And I AM never NOT here. I am always here. Always aware. Even in sleep and dreams, Im aware. Its a little creepy actually.

3) Its liberating, scary, and kind of shows who the Great Oz is. Its like now, I don't really have to do anything ever. Life kind of sorts itself out, and figures things out on its own. I can't take credit for anything, unfortunately. But I can have peace, even through pain, emotional turmoil, loss, suffering, I can always have peace. Because I am not responsible for the manifestation of the next moment, no one is, It just is. Before I took my "search" very seriously, and I was this guy running around trying to find the truth. But the truth never left anywhere. I see what they meant by the "simplest" thing possible.

What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
Just alot of thought inquiring, and taking a look, trying to find an I. Realizing that the thoughts come on their, own based on the circumstances, based on whatever chain of events have been taking place. I have no control over my emotions, thoughts, so there cannot be an I. Even physically, the body is limited to certain mental options, it believes it has. Finally, seeing that everything that happens, just happens, and it comes from a "void" or "nothing" It just keeps going. like a movie. But no ones watching, sadly. Its like the "I" is the brains attempt to make sense of everything that is happening.

5) Decision, intention, free will, choice and control, depends on the spectrum of the current life. I do think, that awareness can make a choice, depending on what movie were trying to play out. I haven't wrapped my mind around this too well. But it seems like, we have a spectrum of possibilities, depending on where the mind/body is or what its conditioning is, it will go from there. The more the mind/body accepts the present moment, the more peace it will have, the more possibilities it'll be open too. the more joy, and etc etc etc comes. Its like a spiral. Its like a machine, that picks up the harvest. the seeds are the thoughts, the outcome is the external situation.

6) Initially, I believed this would be a terrifying realization. But It hasn't been. At first, I freaked out, when I took a look behind the curtain, and realized what this all really is. But mind/body wise, I am happy to know, and at peace with what I really am. What else could I be, but this? I suppose, alot of other implications have yet to hit me. like the fact that theres no one else, the fact the everyone is kind of like a robot, the fact that I can see through things alot more clearly, the fact that peoples intentions are always before them. The fact that awareness is trapped behind ego in alot of people who are suffering, really sucks. But its all good! ;)

Thank you very much, this was delightful to read.
One thing that stood out from what you said is that awareness is made into some kind of subject, that can make a choice. Is awareness a doer?

This very well can be a language issue. The way that language is made assumes a doer and action. While it's one happening, not fragmented into part.
If you look at everything through verbs alone, all seems different
Like this- breathing, sitting, hearing rain, knowing, aware-ing, being....

Sending love.

Awareness is just aware. Its a no-thing. but what gives "things" existence. Though to be honest, I don't know that as a human, we don't have a choice. Yes, there is no "doer" but a machine, still picks the best thing possible based off what it knows. Which basically means, there is no choice. lol So theres no choice or doing, just things happening based off the best "perceived" option. everything is doing, the best "it" possibly can.