Request for a guide - chris123

[Armstrong]

So if this seems a bit formulaic or just formal, it is because there's a process (see below). Please take your time and have fun. If you have questions I will be happy to explore it with you. Also, it may take a while to get feedback from the other guides. Please just repeat your answer from above if that suits you; the point is to make it easy on the other guides by having things in one place.

A a next step, there are further six questions to ask as part of this guiding process. The response is then shared with other guides. They may or may not have further questions.

Once it is confirmed by other guides that seeing through the illusion of the self has happened, our conversation in this thread will come to an end, however you won’t be left alone. There is a whole community of others on FB, who have also seen through the ‘self’. Actually, there are several groups to join.

So here are the questions. Please answer as clearly as possible and with as much detail as needed. Don’t forget to add everyday examples from your experience for question 5.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

[chris123]

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

no separate self outside the thought that imagines it. Even with a certain level of labelling going on (“my body”, “my thoughts”, “my life”, “others”, “objects”) it is clearly noticed that all (including the story of separation) happen spontaneously. The only past that is known is the one that a current thought projects, about a “self”, and the content of the thought (the history of the “self”) is seen as false, just by noticing the same thought happening without a thinker. no self in the past.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

Whatever the mechanisms of contraction and separation are, in my direct experience, the illusion of the self has a very real ground, the basic “feeling of being”, and that is why the reality of the separate being is not questioned. It “feels” right to think you “exist”.
It starts with labels and concepts that identify sensations as “my body”, and proceeds with projecting a “soul”, an “I” that has memories and plans. The belief in identification is maintained by a constant planning of a future and remembering a past. Because the feeling of being is there always when thinking, feeling, or sensing, and even in subtle meditative states, the continuity of experience is attributed to a self, by a thought that is subtle.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

A growing relief, to not have to trust life. A deeper peace and almost constant effortless noticing. It feels like relaxing more and more. I serve faster in tennis, but that maybe a coincidence. My sense of humor thought, has not improved.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

The direct experience thing. It kind of recognizes the truth every moment. I had looked before, but it was not supported by continuous noticing, and doubts and expectations took over.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.

Decision and intention are thoughts that appear. the self colours them as my decision, my intention. Free will is the illusion itself. There is no pause in direct experience for “someone” outside of experience to choose. Choice is made. Maybe conditioning has a big role in this, maybe not. I don’t know. I cannot know. And I don’t care. I have had enough with philosophy. Control of thoughts is not possible as there is no previous knowledge of them. They happen AS I know them. The self “controls” through thought, but thought itself is coming out of nowhere. The idea of control is ridiculous.

What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Ask god, I don’t know. labels happen, thoughts happen, but are THINGS really happening if not labelled? how to "know"?
No control, no responsibility.
examples:
Whatever nonsense I write right now, comes out of the blue. Appearing out of nowhere.
while the previous thought came to mind, I noticed I was scratching my nose.

6) Anything to add?

It was fun doing this, it is incredible what you do here
Thank you Armstrong and everybody

[Armstrong]

Thanks for your reply. I don't have any more questions for you now. Maybe the other guides will. Please stick around.

[Armstrong]

Please continue to be patient.

[Armstrong]

Thanks for being patient. It shouldn't be much longer before something interesting happens.

[Armstrong]

OK. We are done. You should be getting a private message on this board soon - a day or so.

I hope it surpasses your expectations.

It was very pleasant to do this with you - it was easy to communicate with you about experiential things. Good luck!

[chris123]

thank you,
i am grateful. best wishes!