The Gate

OK I will be back here in the morning.
Mb

OK you were sounding fine there on what Direct Experience is.

I want to go back and look at the question of 'decisions' later.

For now, let's move on with lining up a bit of structure:

Though we will inevitably not log on simultaneously, I want us to 'meet', so to speak, in an almost formal way each day, where you are sitting there relaxed in front of your computer at home, able to open up to the words on the screen.
So no Cyber-Cafe, no consulting this site on an iphone at the supermarket queue or bus stop.
Just alone in your own room with no distractions, not sitting in front of a window, no kids and no pets unless the latter can be trusted to not move a muscle. (every word of this can be suspended under unique extenuating circumstances, but I ask you to return to as many elements of this sort of set-up as possible, ASAP)

In this part of your day you are just going to tune into special 'Hannah Time' and this is 'sacred space' for you alone to explore 'how things really are'.

OK, I will just assume that is all in place now.

So just arrive there on your seat with a bit of breathing, say six nice kindly breaths.

Allow an element of postural awareness to emerge from these gentle six breaths.

I am not talking about big deal mindfulness of breathing, nor am I talking about big deal mindfulness of posture. Just being a bit more aware of posture and breathing will do fine. You do not need any big deal concentration for this.

Just become aware of your body supported by your chair and your back rising out of that.

Feeling your way into a sense of what that contact feels like.

Letting your muscles go and giving up the weight of your body to the chair.

In Direct Experience, is there a defined boundary between chair and body? A frontier where body ends and chair begins?

Just report back to me from your Direct Experience.
Mb

I can feel where my body is affected by the chair, for instance where the front edge presses into my thighs, and my sit-bones meet something hard, but I cannot actually feel a boundary between body and chair.

So no Cyber-Cafe, no consulting this site on an iphone at the supermarket queue or bus stop.
Just alone in your own room with no distractions, not sitting in front of a window, no kids and no pets unless the latter can be trusted to not move a muscle. (every word of this can be suspended under unique extenuating circumstances, but I ask you to return to as many elements of this sort of set-up as possible, ASAP)

I have found I am already doing that , making a space for it like that. If I notice a post has come in I finish what I am doing or put it aside and make ready! I don't know what our time difference is but early evening is a good time for me, or I will get to it later sometimes. My cat is sometimes with me but usually settled and quiet.

HB

So I guess that's because there is actually no boundary, it's just an imagined, assumed boundary, because of seeing myself as separate and fixed. The skin does feel like a container, even though I 'know' it's porous and just made up of the same elements as the world outside me. It still feels like it separates me off! Is that just because I think it does?

I'm sorry that sounds disingenuous, of course it's because I THINK my skin is a barrier, I THINK I am separate and fixed. I know the theory, but I want to really know it so it changes my perspective
Hb

I have found I am already doing that , making a space for it like that. If I notice a post has come in I finish what I am doing or put it aside and make ready! I don't know what our time difference is but early evening is a good time for me, or I will get to it later sometimes. My cat is sometimes with me but usually settled and quiet.

Love it! And this cat sounds fine for staying!
Do excuse my delay I was in London (yep GMT too!) and out of connectivity which was unexpected or else I would have mentioned that hiatus beforehand

I'm sorry that sounds disingenuous, of course it's because I THINK my skin is a barrier, I THINK I am separate and fixed. I know the theory, but I want to really know it so it changes my perspective
Hb

Well observed Hannah.
Just settle into your chair there in front of your screen.
Just notice half a dozen nice kindly breaths arise and depart as bit of posture begins to emerge along with it. Forcing nothing, just relaxing, letting go.
Just notice how a thought arrives. Just notice where thought emerges from.

So there you are just sitting there. Just being. At some point a thought comes along.
Now tell me where that thought comes from.
Mb

I have no idea! Generally thoughts just arise out of nowhere unless I am obsessing or worrying about something. I know they are linked to my views and perceptions, that the way I think arises from my world view and conditioning etc etc but I cannot tell where they actually arise FROM! (Not shouting) just in my head. My brain produces thoughts?

To be more clear, I meant the thoughts seem to arise in my head

That's lovely. You are looking just fine.

OK six nice breaths just sitting there being.


That's right; thoughts just arrive. They just come from nowhere and arrive in Direct Experience!

Right, as our enquiry progresses, I am regularly going to be asking you to just look in Direct Experience.

By just look I don't mean; 'Jesus Christ will you ever just look you idiot!

Instead I mean a certain kind of looking. A looking that can really mean 'perceive' or 'cognise' just the immediate experience currently available to the senses, in direct experience.

If we look at your first reply:

I have no idea! Generally thoughts just arise out of nowhere unless I am obsessing or worrying about something. I know they are linked to my views and perceptions, that the way I think arises from my world view and conditioning etc etc but I cannot tell where they actually arise FROM! (Not shouting) just in my head. My brain produces thoughts?

You go out of Direct Experience into quite a bit of Papancha thoughts ABOUT experience Proliferating into why or how thoughts arise etc etc.
This is all perfectly understandable and you can expect to see yourself do this again! (And that will be fine too!)

However your second reply is more like the actual real direct experience:

To be more clear, I meant the thoughts seem to arise in my head

Your second reply is no longer thoughts about what a flower might smell like. Instead, it was more like you actually smelling the flower itself, and this is what I want to ask you to come back to again when the mind proliferates

Yes, thoughts just arrive from nowhere. It sounds nuts, but there it is. They just do.

What we have just covered is a central plank in all this, which I will be returning to. However that is enough about thought for the time being. Just bear this gently in mind tomorrow as you go about your day. Thoughts just arrive from nowhere.

Tell me about seeing:

Choose an apparent object in front of you it might be a cup on the desk or the top corner of your screen. It might be a more distant object behind the monitor itself, or a spot on the wall.

Really just take it in really just take that seen object in.
Just drink it in for a few breaths maybe four relaxed breaths just looking in direct experience.

Now tell me, is there in Direct Experience an actual seer, or is there simply the process of seeing?

Mb

In direct experience there is only seeing, but as as soon as I think about it the idea is right there that it only happens because there is a me doing the seeing. I cannot stop that thought arising.
HB

In direct experience there is only seeing, but as as soon as I think about it the idea is right there that it only happens because there is a me doing the seeing. I cannot stop that thought arising.
HB

Well observed. Yes that is a typical follow-up thought.

Don't try to stop that thought arising just notice that it does.

So at first there was just seeing. Then that self-appropriative thought arose. OK just notice that that took place, and call that sequence to to mind as you go about your day tomorrow. (if you just called it to mind on just half a dozen times in the course of the day that would be fine) That's all you have to do at this stage.

Now lets take a look at hearing:

But first just those six or so breaths; just arriving sitting there, being there, feeling alive being there.

Just choose a sound that is happening right now. It might be the sound of the monitor buzz, or a fridge, or traffic in the distance. An aeroplane can be really handy as it comes into existance, then peaks, then ebbs away.
Wind in the trees or eves is a nice one too. Or make a sound: turn on the kettle or pig a meditation bell.

Now in your actual Direct Experience is there a hearer or (in your Direct Experience) is there just sound itself?

Just get back to me and tell me what happened OK?
Mb

Now in your actual Direct Experience is there a hearer or (in your Direct Experience) is there just sound itself?

I tried this with birdsong and experienced that there is just sound itself. Because it's random it's easier to experience without a sense of agency, or appropriation, it's just there happening by itself. Also very pleasant and relaxing, one of the best things about living in the country! So in my direct experience there is no hearer. I will continue to try and notice this throughout the day and notice when I 'appropriate'

I am travelling to Sussex today to visit my Mum for a few days, but should be able to continue posting.
HB

I tried this with birdsong and experienced that there is just sound itself. Because it's random it's easier to experience without a sense of agency, or appropriation, it's just there happening by itself. Also very pleasant and relaxing, one of the best things about living in the country! So in my direct experience there is no hearer. I will continue to try and notice this throughout the day and notice when I 'appropriate'

This is just great. You are looking good.

Yes birdsong is probably the best because of the way it comes and goes so nicely!

OK just settling into those customary few breaths to arrive and create a gap between now and whatever you were doing last. No big deal 'SATI' or big deal 'POSTURE' just a small dash of both. Just nodding into the territory.

OK, I want to look at taste. Taste can often be overlooked because it seems less like one of the big ones and it is not always present. However I am very keen on it. so if you don't have a taste in your mouth right now, just gently rise up and go off and get yourself one. Food, tea, coffee, anything will do. It does not have to be in your mouth during the actual looking The taste will still mildly be there 15 or 20 minutes later and mild is all you need for this:

Is there a taster or is there just taste?
Mb

You will notice that with this hearing and with this tasting we are doing a subtly different mode of a appreciation from when we looked at those acuities earlier on. Earlier, it was just to make sure we were on the same page with DE, but this is us now moving into something else.
Mb

Hi Hannah,
There is also a post above my last one.
I hope all is well at your Mum's
Mb