Hey Dirk! Thanks for your response...
And - in direct experience - is there even evidence of a 'body' which senses its 'environment'? Or is there just sensing / perceptions happening - some of which might be labeled 'body' (heat, pain, tingling, touch) while others are labeled 'environment' ('sound', 'table', 'water', 'bitter', etc.)?
No, that is correct. Using Direct Experience I can't even say there's a body which senses the environment. That is learned information (I'm thinking: would a 5 year old child be able to say that sentence?) No, there are just the sensations that we've used intelligence to describe as stimulus from the environment.
Where do thoughts come from?
Thoughts can just 'pop' into my head. At the same time, I can daydream (and often do) which can involve a scenario that I find pleasurable. When I daydream, I start with a concept and then I can certainly 'steer' the events in the daydream to go my way.
If I really 'let go' say, in meditation, I sense little snippets of phrases or situations that just slip in and out with no rhyme or reason and usually do not follow a coherent path. Just a jumble of nothingness that I can 'watch' in amusement. Almost like in a movie when they show a character drugged up and you hear little phrases from the movie all echo-y. Like the time travel scene in Start Trek 4 - they go back in time and you hear parts of sentences from later in the movie. When I'm really in a good meditation that's what my thoughts do.
Where are they going?
Some thoughts (usually negative - things that impact my ego) can pop in and go wherever they want to, getting me frustrated. Some thoughts are just simple: "hey what's the name of that type of tree? Grandma had that tree in her front yard..." etc. (I think that example is from Untethered Soul) but that's how it works. Thought to thought to thought in connected streams that go nowhere.
Can you stop a thought in the middle?
If I am having a negative thought "I think my girlfriend is cheating on me" I can stop it and "talk" to myself in thoughts and get myself out of it. "Tell" myself all the logical things that negate that thought. So I can't "stop" the thought but I can influence the direction.
Can you predict what the next thought will be?
No.
Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?
No.
Can you choose to only have 'nice' and 'positive' thoughts?
Uh... probably not but some I can outwit. Some I can't.
Can an 'I' be found that generates thoughts?
No, I don't think there is an "I" generating thoughts. I think they arise.
Who thinks? “I think” - What is 'I'?
This is hard to answer. When I think about it I envision something centered that is the real "me" which is mute, and something off to the side, much smaller that is an endless loop saying "I, I , I , I , I " to itself. It's like this spinning circle and the larger thing in the middle is silent and still. The larger thing is oblong, like a tall thin body, and the circle is where the head would be, but off to the side. Outside the larger oblong thing. Ha ha that's weird.
What is the thinker of thoughts?
Again, it feels like a 'process' outside of me like computer code in a loop. I haven't really thought of it that way until I started this 'no self' thing. When I open my eyes this loop seems to settle in behind my eyes and grab the controls.
Does the thinker of the thought appear in experience? Can it be found?
No. No it doesn't. It is off to the side. I was doing an exercise from the LU app where I held my hand out and I had the "thinker" say in my head "move your hand" but then I "told myself" to also not do it. Then, in opposition to the 'thinker' as I sat there I wiggled my hand randomly. I saw that the 'guy in my head' is not the person making me do stuff. The hand was directed by something else.
Or is it that the 'I' that thinks is also just a thought?
This I believe (from reading Gatecrashers) analytically but for me I still 'feel' the "I" as me. I do believe these exercises are helping.
Is there an 'I' that controls thoughts?
It feels like both: thoughts can come or I can steer thoughts.
Is there an 'I' that owns thoughts?
It feels like that "computer process" in my brain can also generate thoughts.
What is the 'I-thought'?
An illusion created by all the things that have 'built' the code in my brain, but I still see the illusion as something. It's a tiny bit exposed or shifted but "I" am still here.
Do you think thoughts, or are there only thoughts about 'you'?
The thoughts either prop up or tear down my sense of "I." They are very focused on how things affect "me." But I like the ones that make "me" feel good. I recognize that I create a reality in my head where "I" come off looking good. I use my measuring stick to judge the world and since it's my measuring stick it uses things I'm good at to measure. Every once in a while my reality doesn't go the way I think it should and I believe that's because "I" must be seeing something incorrectly because it feels better to think it's the way I want it to be. The thing that thinks the thoughts is the same thing that is 'defending' itself to exist. Therefore it feeds me "good" feelings.
Replace 'thoughts' for 'feelings' in the above questions. Does that change any of your answers (and if so which)?
Feelings I think are more direct. I don't think I can influence feelings, though I can change my environment and hope the feelings shift on their own. I had trouble with addiction and I used chemicals to simply 'shut off' feelings. Feelings seem to be outside of of "my" control. Thoughts seem manufactured sometimes, feelings never do.
Yesterday as an exercise I repeated the following words in my head:
"Joy"
then
"Fear"
then
"I"
I had some sort of response to "joy" and "fear." Like they felt 'real.' When I repeated "I" it was just hollow and empty. It did not resonate as a real thing. No substance.
Calbert
