Iam ready can I have a guide please

[garybeale]

Hi Philip,

There's some good feedback there to work with, thank you. Before I look at your answers in more detail though, I have a couple of exercises for you to do.

1) Find two things that are similar but not the same, e.g. different coloured pens, or a pair of odd socks, or different drinks, you get the idea. Put them on a table in front of you and just sit for a few moments. Then make a movement towards one or the other. Notice the movement.

What happened?
Can you describe the process?
Was anything needed to make the choice?
Is there anything there making a choice?

2) When you get up tomorrow morning, notice your choice of clothes.

Study the process.
What informs the decision? Cultural factors? Environmental factors? Favourite colours? Available clean clothes?
Can any individual be found in that?
Does the process feel like it contains internal or external factors, or does it feel like one continous flow?

It's important that you take your time with these and look very carefully into what is going on. So just relax and enjoy it :)

Have a great day.

Scott

[RENEWELL]

Hi Scott,

1) Find two things that are similar but not the same, e.g. different coloured pens, or a pair of odd socks, or different drinks, you get the idea. Put them on a table in front of you and just sit for a few moments. Then make a movement towards one or the other. Notice the movement.
What happened?

A phone and a yellow cloth was placed on the table in front of this body labeled "Philip".The right hand moved and touched the yellow cloth.

[quote Can you describe the process?][/quote]

Well when looked at it seems that there is nothing instructing the hand to move or not move and yet there must be a commander for a hand to move otherwise the hand would not move or when it moves who or what stops it?

Was anything needed to make the choice?]

No and yet a choice was made. Thoughts are arising that this is Life (Divinity) expressing itself as this body, moving , creating, sensing.

Is there anything there making a choice?

As above

This has taken a long time getting to this point.Getting it hard to put answers down so sending this now and will resume in the morning.

Thanks Scott

[RENEWELL]

2) When you get up tomorrow morning, notice your choice of clothes.

What informs the decision? Cultural factors? Environmental factors? Favourite colours? Available clean clothes?

Available clean clothes.

Can any individual be found in that?

No.

Does the process feel like it contains internal or external factors, or does it feel like one continous flow

It is a continous flow, it took a long time looking at these questions to write something down and a lot of thinking happened about what is the "correct" answers and internal questioning of do "i" understand or believe what "I" am expressing. This body took a train journey today and when looking at horses and cows out in the fields as the train
passed them a shift happened, there were animals in the field and a body in the train labeled "Philip" looking out at the animals but there was no seperation, no"I" or "them",just life expressing itself as life as animals and life expressing itself as the body "Philip" A deep sense of joy and innocence happened, looking at and noticing other movements of the body without any "I" identification. A business meeting happened afterwards and there was some robust exchanges of which the "I" would normally react to but today it was seen and experienced differently because there was no "i" to react. Wow!! The body feeling relaxed now after reading some of the Gateless Gatecrashers stories coming home on the train and a recognition of a truth in a story told of why we dont feel old on the inside, because there is nobody(no"I") there to feel it, this also changed something about how the train journey was experienced and yet it was the same.

There is a lightness being experieced now and its like there is nothing to control, just acceptance of what is and the"I" has nothing to do or be, looking at the computer now hearing the words being typed is happening, looking for the"I" but nothing found .

Much appreciation for your guidance Scott.

Philip

[garybeale]

Wow, thank you for sharing that Philip. Sounds like an amazing day. On my way home this afternoon I had to drive past the entrance to London Zoo, which I haven't done for many years. A smile appeared on my face and a thought of you popped up. :)

I understand the urge, but it's probably best whilst being guided that you don't read anything on spiritual matters, including the Gateless Gate, or other threads. The tendency then is to (unwittingly) use words and phrases that have been read, rather than direct from your own viewpoint. If I'm guiding you to the zoo, consulting the A-Z of London could confuse us both :)

So, going back to something you said earlier, how is the clarity now? Is there still a feeling of frustration anywhere?

What, if anything has changed from before we started this dialogue?

And how would you explain your seeing to a friend who knows nothing about liberation (from the self)?

[RENEWELL]

Hi Scott,

So, going back to something you said earlier, how is the clarity now? Is there still a feeling of frustration anywhere?

No frustation just a relaxed knowing that there is nothing to do and there is no "I" to do it and this brings a sense of relief that its not "me" running the show and the freedom in that is great. During today waves of energy(labeled) were rising and falling in the body bringing a sense of joy at how simple everything is and last night a lot of thoughts about the Iam came but there was no disturbence or if there was it went quickly. Is there clarity now, Yes there is clarity that I AM everything and nothing, the same Presence that is running the show without the personal "I" involved ,thats breathing this body without any help from "me" This presence is watching the computer screen , is the computer screen, and thought the idea of a computer screen, (smiling here at this attempt to describe the indescrible) Putting words to what is happening now, there is a lightness being experienced about this journey to this point( again what point) maybe whats being shown is the journey was the point. With all this pointing going on the "I" got confused and fecked off. ( Ha Ha)

What, if anything has changed from before we started this dialogue?

Yes identification with the "I" has changed and yet everything is happening as before but with a lighter touch. Looking and Seeing is also different and more questions have been asked and answered then ever before( Thank you Scott) There is more acceptance of what is happening or enfolding.

And how would you explain your seeing to a friend who knows nothing about liberation (from the self)?

Can seeing be explained and there is nothing to be liberated from and yet there is.Freedom from the scourge of the "I" the false self that is liberation and yet there is no "I" to be liberated from so "I" would leave that for some other body to explain. This body would point them to this forum.

Best regards

Philip

[garybeale]

My apologies for not answering for so long Philip. I had a last minute road trip with no access to the internet. It shouldn't be happening again, at least not before Christmas.

Ok, so I'm going to ask you a few more questions and then I'll see if any of the other guides have any further questions for you.

Here's question one (of five):

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me', 'I' at all anywhere, in any way shape or form? Was there ever?

As before, take your time and answer from your own experience as fully as you can.

Cheers,

Scott.

[RENEWELL]

Hi Scott,
No worries, its nice to be away without the internet if its planned. I did'nt receive the normal email notification of your reply so I too am a bit late responding.

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me', 'I' at all anywhere, in any way shape or form? Was there ever?

I was having a challenge in replying to your questions without referring to or using the "I" word but now writing this it does'nt really matter. I know who I am and who I am not. I know I am everything and nothing. No there is no seperate self, nothing to be seperate from. I am the expression of life as this body labeled Philip awakened and seeing the limits of the "life" I was living and the stress of trying to control the uncontrolable. The arrogance of that thought "being in control". Now I am living out of control ( freedom) and everything seems to be more in control.

This word Trust was always presenting itself to me and I could never seem to catch its message, who or what do I trust, writing now there is a trust in whats happening there is acceptance of whats happening, there is no need to trust I am whats happening, words words thoughts still coming but less disturbance. Acceptance is that trusting, not really bothered. So Scott a big change in how "Philip" is living his life in the days since we started this chat. Before this dialogue started "I" thought "I" knew it all, I had spent alot of years searching, practising and teaching different " spiritual" modalities but there was always a vacuum an incompletness, there was also an arrogance of being better than the people "I" was teaching, now I can say I am nothing and feel joy in that statement.

Was there ever

No never.

Regards

Philip

[garybeale]

Here's question 2 while I sit and be with your answer to q1:

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

Cheers,

Scott

[garybeale]

Hi Philip,

It's been a while. Are you still interested in continuing?

Cheers,

Gary

[garybeale]

Have a great Christmas Philip.

[RENEWELL]

Hi Scott,
Everytime I sit to answer the above question 2 nothing happens, its as if there is no thing to discuss. In this moment I am all that is...is happening and not happening. Nothing to do really except the "normal" everyday things which are not that important but necessary. Just going with what is occuring and watching the thoughts come and go sometimes staying in the thought and sometimes not, but no ownership of them. " Normally" the I would have alot to say and would strive to answer but as I sit here at the computer this I ( non self) has nothing to say. Everything has changed and yet everything is the same. The last few weeks havebeen interesting in that I am doing less and achieving more with no attachment to the less or more.
Regards
Philip

[garybeale]

Welcome back Phil,

All you have to do is sit with it and an answer will come. Here are some practice questions:

1) What is 5 times 8?

I'll bet you didn't even have to look for that one.

2) What did you have for breakfast on Christmas Eve?

3) How old are you in your earliest memory?

4) Explain in as much detail as you can,the illusion of the sun rising every morning.

You don't need to give me the answers to the above questions, unless you want to of course. They are just meant as an exercise. If it helps, reply to each of the questions below one at a time, in your own time. The only answer is the one that arises in you, there is no correct answer.

5) Explain in as much detail as you can, the illusion of separate self.

6) When does the separate self begin?

7) How does the separate self work from your own experience?

[RENEWELL]

Hi Scott,

Explain in as much detail as you can, the illusion of separate self.

This illusion was programmed into this pure being(Love) in early childhood firstly with the label " Philip" and then reinforced with how Philip fits into his family and how much attention(Love) he receives if he is "good" and if he is "bad" then he is unworthy to receive attention( Love). Family, friends, religion, society reinforce this message of separation as they have also been programmed with the same illusion.In my own case been raised as a catholic the minute "I" was born I was labeled with " Original Sin " been born with a "sin " so catholics are taught that when they arrive into this world they are already "sinners" (unworthy of Gods love) separate from their true Essence(Love, God, Source, The Absolute, etc) So I learnt early on that I was separate from God and the only way into Gods house (heaven) was if I pleased the church, they would get me in. So all my life this separate "I" has pulled the strings on how I performed in the world, at school, at work, in my marriage, raising children , etc ( some performance!!!)

Regards

Philip

[garybeale]

Hi Philip,

Thank you for that excellent answer. There is one small question arising from it though. You say this:

So all my life this separate "I" has pulled the strings on how I performed in the world

If there is no 'I', how can it have pulled any strings? How can something that doesn't exist have any influence on your life?

Are you certain that the 'I' does not exist? If so, what then has pulled the strings on how you performed?

I'll give you question five, which is out of sequence but may be pertinent at this point.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

warm regards,

Scott

[RENEWELL]

Hi Scott,

If there is no 'I', how can it have pulled any strings? How can something that doesn't exist have any influence on your life?

It cannot..."it" does not exist.

Are you certain that the 'I' does not exist?

Yes I am certain the "I" does not exist.

If so, what then has pulled the strings on how you performed?

Life (God) expressing itself as this body "Philip".

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen?

All of the above are happening as an expression of the Divine.

Will complete tomorrow.

Regards

Philip