The Gate

I feel like as can decide what to think about and what will be the next thought.

Yes, there is that feeling.

Now try it :-)

OK, have watched the thoughts for half an hour. It happens in this way: eyes see something, some thoughts concerning seen arise, sometimes followed by emotions or other thoughts, sometime no. All of them were something heard or experienced before, like in search engine when you put some words and find several contexts where these words are used. That’s all.

So where is this I that can decide what to think?
Or do?

Can't find it

So, is there an I that is watching? Is there an I that is looking for an I?
What’s going on here?

It seems so difficult that it really should be too simple.

So there is something that is watching. That can see when thought comes and goes, when emotion comes and goes. I do not know what it is. But it is different from so called “I”. The “I” cannot be found. But what was entity that was believed to be “I”? Is it continuing thought? The core thought that thinks it really exists? But who tries to understand all this? This thought? It can’t.

It feels like amnesia. When each new thought does not know about the previous one. No consistency.

It seems so difficult that it really should be too simple.

Ha Ha, yes. Fortunately, the difficulty is just part of the illusion.

what was entity that was believed to be “I”? Is it continuing thought?

There never was an I. When you were a child, did you believe in things that never existed---except as thoughts/desires/aversions? Did they seem real at the time? Were they ever real, or were they just thoughts?

who tries to understand all this?

Ha Ha again! This question contains the same assumption as the statement “there is something that is watching”.

Let's say that every day while you were very little, your mom read you the story of the three little pigs. Except, your mom wanted to make the story more exciting, so she added dragons into the story.

Imagine you grew up believing that the story of the three little pigs has dragons in it. Then one day you have to do a book report on it, and you're like "I don't need to read this story, I already know it by heart." So you kind of half-skim through it, not noticing that dragons aren't mentioned anywhere. Your brain automatically fills in those parts.

You get an "F", and your teacher says "What in the world are you talking about? Read the book again."

This time you do, with full attention. Now you're not adding anything into it, you're just reading at the book exactly as it is. You notice there's nothing about dragons!
Now, the same exact thing is going on with the reality of thinking. Your brain has the unconscious assumption that there's a self thinking thoughts and experiencing them.

But, if you read (look at) reality exactly as it is, plain, without adding anything in, you'll notice that no such thing is there - that thoughts are fully supported on their own, they don't lean on a self to function.


It's the same thing with perceptions. No "perceiver" needed at all. And none to be found.

+++
You hear a noise and there is the thought "that sound is in another room". But where exactly is the hearing occurring? Is hearing occurring in the other room? Or is it occurring in direct experience here and now? Does a hear-er get up and go into the other room to hear the noise?

Isn't the noise and the hearing of it happening simultaneously? Without separation? Can you identify, in your direct experience, where the noise ends and the hearing begins?
Isn't it truer that the noise and the hearing are the same experience, and that only thought and language separate them into noise and hearing?

Where does sound actually occur? In conscious awareness.
Listen and look for the dragon: Is there a “hearer” in addition to the occurrence of sound?

p.

What should I do to discover all this? I understand it somehow; I’m looking for the “I” and cannot find it. I watch the thoughts and see them functioning without any management. But still there is very terrible feeling. How to feel freedom?
The language is terrible trap. Nothing could be expressed without using I.

The idea that there is a you seeking freedom is an illusion. The "seeking of freedom" is just something that is happening because there is of wrong belief. The idea that freedom is something that can be found by me, or that is found by others, only exists within it the belief that there is a me or others that can do something or get somewhere or experience something. And it is painful.

So could be something done to shift this wrong belief or it happens itself if happens?
It's so strange I've read and watched so much about all this and now understand totally nothing.

And who's belief it is?

Elene,

This is just too simple to be adequately described or “understood”.

You could describe the color green to me all day long, and I could think about it for years, and hear other people describe it, but never know what it is without the actual experience of green.

It seems the brain learns this thru experience, also. The exercises are designed to provide that experience.

When thoughts were watched, no thinker or decider was found. Keep watching. Watch thoughts, emotions, bodily actions. As continually as possible. Thoughts that there is a doer or thinker may arise, but the doer or thinker itself cannot be found. This must be experienced.

Please do this for a day, then let me know what was experienced. Not what was thought about, but what was experienced. What was discovered.

:-)
p.

Thank you, Pablo

Will write tomorrow with some report :)

Hello Pablo,

Was watching the thoughts, emotions and actions for the day.

The thoughts arise themselves, no thinker could be found. The emotions arise following the thoughts, when the attention is focused on the emotion, it disappears.

Actions are moving themselves, automatically, no doer could be found.

No features that the person usually meant to has, such as characteristics, believes, values, identification with person, even gender or age, could be found.

Somehow here is a feeling of “me”. It’s just feeling, without any features. As far as attention moves on this “me” it’s obvious that there is no “me” and never was. It feels more not as “me”, but as “not the other body/mind”.