I would like to become a guide

[Xain]

Hi Kristina

Sorry, but I don't know about the LU APP. I'm not even sure if it runs on an IPad.

It may be time for straight-talking.

It seems from our brief chat so far that you have some strong ideas and beliefs reagarding Presense, and 'Non-dual Consciousness'. Would you be willing to put those beliefs aside and/or realise that they are simply ideas you have regarding the nature of reality?

Some thoughts represent reality, right?

A thought is our own interpretation of reality. If a thought about reality and that thought is believed to be true, that it is a 'belief'.

What would it mean if everything you ever knew about 'yourself' and 'this body' was realised to be 'just thoughts'?
What would it mean to realise that the body does not have a history and does not actively remember experiences?
Are you willing to approach this realisation?

That's the reality, right? The reality is that a body was born on certain date, in a certain place with particular people around.

Just consider . . .
Look in the mirror. See the body.
Was the body that is seen in the mirror, the one that was born on a certain date?
Or is the body that is being witnessed in the mirror, different to the body that was born on a certain date?

Other than this thought, how else is it known that the body was born on that specific date?
Or is the thought the only link? And because that thought is believed in, it is said to be 'reality'.

However, all it is is just a thought appearing that is believed in?
Can you see this?

This is not to dismiss it as a valid idea. However, can you see that 'This body was born on xxxx' is simply a thought appearing that is believed in? And nothing more than that.

In my future guiding I will ask you to put all your preconceived ideas to one side - Would you be prepared to do this?
I will ask you to examine your experience directly in order to find things.
Can we establish a reality . . . that is to say, that if something cannot be seen, heard, felt, smelt or tasted, then what we are referring to cannot be found or located, other than in a thought.
Is this fair?

Xain ♥

[Whitedot]

Hi Xain,
Would you be willing to put those beliefs aside and/or realise that they are simply ideas you have regarding the nature of reality?
I am not sure what you mean by ‘put aside’ but it is clear to me that my beliefs are just beliefs, stories that I make up and they are not reality.

Definately I can put aside ‘a belief’ that ‘thoughts represent reality’.
I would like to clarify something.

Let’s say that I am a nurse working at the hospital. At certain moment I can see ‘a body’ coming out from another body. It would be a fact, reality, yes? At the same time a thought appears ‘a baby boy was born’ - and this is an interpretation of reality.

A thought is our own interpretation of reality. If a thought about reality and that thought is believed to be true, that it is a ‘belief’.
It is clear for me.

What would it mean if everything you ever knew about 'yourself' and 'this body' was realised to be 'just thoughts’?
I don’t feel very attached to the beliefs about myself and ‘this body’. It seams to me that for the past decade I keep changing what I think about ‘myself’. I am attached to certain theories about people in general that I use when I teach others about thoughts, emotions and mindfulness. But I am open to evaluate them too.
You are saying that all what I know about ‘this body’ are just thoughts -I would like to clarify few things:
- If ‘this body’ would have a broken leg, does it mean that a broken bone is a thought?

What would it mean to realise that the body does not have a history and does not actively remember experiences?
Are you willing to approach this realisation?
I am willing but I have questions. I understand that a body is constantly changing and is never the same. But still it shows some history, I mean that it is a scar on a stomach etc.
I guess, I got it - when I say history these are just stories about ‘this body’. There is a scar on a stomach and that’s it, right? There are wrinkles on a face, there are four fingers in the left hand etc.. When I say history it will always be ‘a story’.

Just consider . . .
Look in the mirror. See the body.
Was the body that is seen in the mirror, the one that was born on a certain date?
Or is the body that is being witnessed in the mirror, different to the body that was born on a certain date?
Yes, the body is different and is constantly changing.

Other than this thought, how else is it known that the body was born on that specific date?
I don’t know. Maybe it is just a thought.

Or is the thought the only link? And because that thought is believed in, it is said to be 'reality'.
However, all it is is just a thought appearing that is believed in?
Can you see this?
Yes, I blieve so. It is clear right now.

This is not to dismiss it as a valid idea. However, can you see that 'This body was born on xxxx' is simply a thought appearing that is believed in? And nothing more than that.

Yes, I do see that it is just a thought, nothing else.
It seams to be more a habit of saying things in a certain way than a belief. But - because it is a strong habit - it must affect my beliefs too, I guess. I often think and talk about ‘this body’ like this: ‘I am 60’ or ‘I was seriously sick when I was 12’ or ‘I had a jetleg for the whole week’ etc.
It seems that I've heard that before and maybe I just need to remember that all beliefs about 'this body' are just thoughts, stories the same as the stories from my childhood.

In my future guiding I will ask you to put all your preconceived ideas to one side - Would you be prepared to do this?
Are you asking if I am willing to question my beliefs? Yes, I am. Prepare means ready?

I will ask you to examine your experience directly in order to find things.
Can we establish a reality . . . that is to say, that if something cannot be seen, heard, felt, smelt or tasted, then what we are referring to cannot be found or located, other than in a thought.

What does it mean ‘other than in a thought’? Can you explain it with different words? Is there a question in this last sentence? I am not sure if I understand it.

With gratitude,
Kristina

[Xain]

Can we establish a reality . . . that is to say, that if something cannot be seen, heard, felt, smelt or tasted, then what we are referring to cannot be found or located, other than in a thought.
What does it mean ‘other than in a thought’? Can you explain it with different words? Is there a question in this last sentence? I am not sure if I understand it.

Sure - This is important in my guiding. We need to establish some-sort of 'reality'.
The approach to this should be completely 'down to earth', putting all spiritual concepts and ideas to one side.

Consider this next example - Take this immediate moment - Right here and right now.
If you say to me that there is 'Non-dual Consciousness' here right now, I will ask you how you know this.
Can it be seen? Can it be felt? Can it be heard? Can it be tasted?
If it does not appear in the senses, and you still claim that it is here, we have a problem - You are claiming something exists that you are not aware of.
However, you might have an idea about it. A thought. That's fine.

Let's say you have a car. Right now whilst reading this text, you cannot see the car. This does not dismiss it existing. However, in order to prove it exists, you'd have to go outside and look at it.
Right now, without seeing the car, it's existence is only as a thought - In the mind.

How can we use this here?
If we have a claim that something is 'real', or 'it exists' - Then we should be able at some stage to locate it with the senses. If you claim that Unicorns really exists, we should be able at some stage to witness a real one.
If we cannot, we must then surmise that Unicorns only exist in the imagination - In the mind - As thoughts.

I am not sure what you mean by ‘put aside’.

Many people come to guiding holding tightly on to concepts and ideas that they are afraid or unwilling to let go of.
This prevents any realisation from happening.
We are here to examine actual reality, beyond our ideas of what it actually is.
For example, if a person has strong religious conditioning that binds them tightly to a belief that there is an all-powerful God that controls everything, they may be unwilling to consider that their belief is not 'true'.
If such a person, continually refers to 'God' while examining their experience, it will be very difficult for them to really see what is going on.

Let’s say that I am a nurse working at the hospital. At certain moment I can see ‘a body’ coming out from another body. It would be a fact, reality, yes? At the same time a thought appears ‘a baby boy was born’ - and this is an interpretation of reality.

Yes, of course. These are all perfectly acceptable statements. However, there is a LOT more to look into in this area should you wish it but this may be considered 'running before you can walk'.
'Others' and the interpretation of our experience can be considered beyond the scope of my guiding here.

My initial guidance would be to examine the beliefs you have about yourself, the body, control, choice, history etc

If ‘this body’ would have a broken leg, does it mean that a broken bone is a thought?

Please note that I am not suggesting in any way that thoughts are wrong.
I simply want you to realise an important distinction.

If you see an 'X-Ray' of a broken bone, then it is clearly broken.
If you feel pain from that fracture, the pain is quite real.
However, if you look at the leg beyond these two things I have mentioned - A thought appears 'The leg is broken' and that thought is taken to be true - It is believed in.
Similarly, if you look at the leg and say 'that leg is 45 years old', then that is a thought appearing that is also taken to be true.
It is the difference between witnessing actual proof of the statement with the senses, and a thought that is appearing that is believed to be true. Does that make sense?

As a Nurse, I am sure you have patients saying 'My leg is broken' - And they really believe it is true.
However, you will need to examine them and work-out exactly what is wrong before identifying if it is really broken or not. It's the same thing. The difference between having a belief, and having actual visible proof.

In my future guiding I will ask you to put all your preconceived ideas to one side - Would you be prepared to do this?
Are you asking if I am willing to question my beliefs? Yes, I am. Prepare means ready?

Yes - Good.
Please note that I am not feeding you new beliefs, ideas or concepts. Merely getting you to examine the ones you have in a very deep way.

Xain ♥

[Whitedot]

Hi Xain,

If you say to me that there is 'Non-dual Consciousness' here right now, I will ask you how you know this.
Can it be seen? Can it be felt? Can it be heard? Can it be tasted?
If it does not appear in the senses, and you still claim that it is here, we have a problem - You are claiming something exists that you are not aware of.
I was claiming that I AM aware of it but I can’t explain how. It can’t be seen or heard but it feels that it can be sense somehow. Some neuroscientists say that we have more than 5 senses. So maybe it is felt through senses.

However, you might have an idea about it. A thought. That's fine.

I definately have thoughts and maybe some beliefs about non-dual consciousness but it is very different than being ‘there’. It is not thinking. At this moment I am writing and thinking about our talk and thoughts about ‘non-duality’ and the whole process appears. Then, I can stop for a moment, breath and just ‘be’.

If we have a claim that something is 'real', or 'it exists' - Then we should be able at some stage to locate it with the senses.
If you claim that Unicorns really exists, we should be able at some stage to witness a real one.
If we cannot, we must then surmise that Unicorns only exist in the imagination - In the mind - As thoughts.

I agree, but… how about breathing? It can’t be seen, it can’t be touched and can’t be heard. Does it mean that it doesn’t exist, that it is only our imagination?

…if a person has strong religious conditioning that binds them tightly to a belief that there is an all-powerful God that controls everything, they may be unwilling to consider that their belief is not ‘true'.

I don’t have strong beliefs about ‘truth’ or ‘my life’ or ‘non-duality’. These are just concepts and I think that people (myself including) create different concepts. I am willing to question any of my concepts or beliefs. I have no problem with this.

If such a person, continually refers to 'God' while examining their experience, it will be very difficult for them to really see what is going on.

I don’t believe in God in terms as ‘someone’. I am not religious at all. But I would use the word ‘God’ as a synonim of ‘non-dual cosciousness’.

However, there is a LOT more to look into in this area should you wish it but this may be considered 'running before you can walk’.

It is just a thought but I think I can run.

My initial guidance would be to examine the beliefs you have about yourself, the body, control, choice, history etc

I am absolutely okay with it.

Please note that I am not suggesting in any way that thoughts are wrong.
I simply want you to realise an important distinction.

I have no doubts about it. I am sorry that I may appear to be frustrated sometimes but I am glad that you are here to guide me. And to follow the guidance is more important for me than to follow a frustration.

It is the difference between witnessing actual proof of the statement with the senses, and a thought that is appearing that is believed to be true. Does that make sense?

Yes, I absolutely agree. ‘Witnessing with senses’ IS reality, the fact of something. Thoughts are never reality, it does not matter how clever they would be.

As a Nurse, I am sure you have patients saying 'My leg is broken' - And they really believe it is true.
However, you will need to examine them and work-out exactly what is wrong before identifying if it is really broken or not. It's the same thing. The difference between having a belief, and having actual visible proof.

I am not a nurse, it was just an example but I understand what you mean. That - we can talk about reality only when we use senses. A patient can say ’my leg is broken’ and an other nurse can say ‘I am sure it is not broken’ but reality is that ‘a leg is bruised and swollen’. To say if it is broken or not a nurse would have to see an Xray. And if an Xray shows that the leg is broken, then we could say that reality IS that the leg is broken.

Please note that I am not feeding you new beliefs, ideas or concepts. Merely getting you to examine the ones you have in a very deep way.
Okay :)

With love,
Kristina

[Xain]

I was claiming that I AM aware of it but I can’t explain how. It can’t be seen or heard but it feels that it can be sense somehow. Some neuroscientists say that we have more than 5 senses. So maybe it is felt through senses.

Sorry - OK - It is more than an idea - You are aware of it.
Do you have a sixth sense? How do you know? How does it operate?

Since you are aware of it, how does 'Non-dual Consciousness' appear to you right now. Describe it.
Before I can begin to guide you, I feel it important to get a thorough grasp and realisation of what exactly you mean here by this term.
Conventionally speaking, you appear to be aware of something that I am not.

I agree, but… how about breathing? It can’t be seen

The rise and fall of the chest can be witnessed. Placing a hand in front of the nose and mouth, the air can be felt moving in and out. Is this not how breathing can be seen to be operating?

Xain ♥

[Whitedot]

Hi Xain,

Since you are aware of it, how does 'Non-dual Consciousness' appear to you right now. Describe it.
Before I can begin to guide you, I feel it important to get a thorough grasp and realisation of what exactly you mean here by this term.
Conventionally speaking, you appear to be aware of something that I am not.
It sounds fair because I started to think that it might be some misunderstaning in our talks.
I would start with a few explanations.
I’ve come to this website claiming that I had awakening experience ten years ago and I want to become a guide. I expected that someone would need to check if ‘my awakening’ is genuine and assess what I need to learn to become a guide. And I am completely okay with it.

I have never had a discussion about ‘my awakening experience’. Words seems to be very limited. Also English is my second language. I use some words while describing certain things and then I am not sure if the words I used represent clearly what I feel. I am sure that I have a lot to learn. And I am willing to learn gratefully. But I would like to be mindful about who is my teacher too. I had 5 teachers in my life and I worked with them cloesly.

‘An awakening experience’ that happened ten years ago was not only a blissful experience at the moment but it has changed my whole life. It has changed completely my relationships with people - my husband, children, close friends, colleagues from work etc. It has changed my perspective and perception of life. I would say that it has changed my perspective from ‘what’s wrong with me?’ and ‘I need to free myself from suffering’ into ‘yes to life’. There is no need to free myself. There is no suffering. Nothing seems to be missing in my life anymore. Life feels like a beautiful gift with a new begining and new colors every day.

I don’t feel ‘special’ or ‘enlightened’ but I know that I am not a self, not ‘I’ or ‘me’ and I am aware of the pure, non-dual awareness. I stopped identifing myself with ‘I’ or ‘me’. I use the expressions like ‘I am a mother’ or ‘I am a parenting coach’ but I am aware without any doubts that these are just words; it is not who I am. I am not a body/mind seperate self; I am ‘The Self, Non-dual Awareness or Non-dual Consciousness, Pure Awareness, Presence (these are just words with its limits).

People talk about non-duality in very different ways using different langugages. Zen language is very different than the language used by mystics or neuroscientists.
I can have thoughts and I can be aware of having thoughts. We perceive the world through our senses but behind all perception and thoughts there is pure awareness. It can’t be seen, can’t be heard or touched, cannot be located either.

Getting back to your question - how does non-dual consiousness appear to me right now - this is what I can say:

I can quite clearly sense this ‘non-dual awareness’. And this ‘sense’ sometimes is very strong - when I am practicing mindfulness or even thinking about something new or can be somehow weaker - when I am talking to other people.
I know it is very different than thinking. I teach people (including children) to distinquish thinking from emotions and body’s sensations, also to consciously change a focus of attention.

‘This non-dual awareness is not internal nor external, I would say it is beyond internal and external world. I don’t feel it but I can ‘sense’ it. It is very hard to explain it in words.

Scientists and people from all spiritual traditions talk about it in different ways - I’ve heard that in buddhist sutras, I’ve heard that from neuroscientists and other scientists (e.g., Dr Dan Siegel calls it Mindsight; Jim Bolte Taylor describes her own experience of awareness of awareness in ‘My stroke of insight’; E.Tolle calls it ‘space consciousness’ that means awareness of being consious vs. ‘object consciousness’ that means awareness through senses, thoughts and emotions).


The rise and fall of the chest can be witnessed. Placing a hand in front of the nose and mouth, the air can be felt moving in and out. Is this not how breathing can be seen to be operating?

I guess that for you ‘breathing’ is a concept, a thought, thinking that can’t be witnessed. Maybe your understanding of thoughts is different than mine.

I see ‘breathing’ as something different than a thought ‘I am breathing’ or even a thought ‘breathing in’ without ‘I’.

Breathing is a process, a series of movements when e.g. oxygen flows down, a diaphragm contracts and moves downwards, lungs expands etc. Some of them can be felt or seen but some cannot. People are aware of them or not.
And there are two different awareness of breathing. One is an awareness of the movement e.g. ‘the chest is rising’, awareness of perception through senses.
And there is another awareness of the breathing as a process. It is not thinking. It does not mean a thought ‘I am breathing”. It is just being a witness of witnessing with senses; it is pure non-judgmental awareness.

:) Kristina

[Xain]

I’ve come to this website claiming that I had awakening experience ten years ago and I want to become a guide.

This statement is a relative view of an apparent event.
Can you give me your opinion of it in absolute terms?
Specifically, when you say 'I had an awakening experience', what is the 'I' that had it? What does the word 'I' in the phrase point to?

I don’t feel ‘special’ or ‘enlightened’ but I know that I am not a self, not ‘I’ or ‘me’ and I am aware of the pure, non-dual awareness. I stopped identifing myself with ‘I’ or ‘me’. I use the expressions like ‘I am a mother’ or ‘I am a parenting coach’ but I am aware without any doubts that these are just words; it is not who I am. I am not a body/mind seperate self; I am ‘The Self, Non-dual Awareness or Non-dual Consciousness, Pure Awareness, Presence (these are just words with its limits).

From this phrase, I might get the impression (perhaps wrongly - please correct me if so) that you went from having an identity of being a body/mind 'separate self', to having an identity of 'The Self, Non-Dual consciousness' etc
I realise you mention 'just words with limits' and I am very aware of the limits of language in Advaita and Non-duality, but it is essential to try to understand what you now consider to be your true nature. This is, essentially, the realisation that LU guides to.

Do you have a true nature?
Can you write or put down exactly what you now consider yourself to be, and perhaps give me some idea of how this is known?

I can have thoughts and I can be aware of having thoughts.

This is an important phrase. What truth is there in this phrase?
Specifically, what is the 'I' that has the thoughts, and is aware of them?

‘This non-dual awareness is not internal nor external, I would say it is beyond internal and external world. I don’t feel it but I can ‘sense’ it. It is very hard to explain it in words.

I tend not to use any 'spiritual' phrases, words or descriptions as they can mean different things to different people. Also, a lot of it is confusing to many people who have not had any background study.

My approach to this is very down to earth.
I am trying to understand what you are saying, but I am having a difficult time.
What are 'internal and external worlds'?
When you say that you can sense 'Non-dual awareness', which sense are you using?
Right now . . . as you sit there. Sense it . . . Examine your experience.
How does 'Non-dual awareness' appear to you?
We have smell, taste, touch, seeing and hearing. We also have thoughts appearing to us.
Which sense are you using? Or is 'Non-dual awareness' a thought about experience?

I guess that for you ‘breathing’ is a concept, a thought, thinking that can’t be witnessed. Maybe your understanding of thoughts is different than mine.

Yes, breathing is a 'concept' - It is a label placed on experience.
'Breath', 'Chest', Rise', 'Fall', Nose', 'Mouth' - All concepts.
Concepts are the same as thoughts. Without conceptualising our experience, we cannot talk about it.

If I say the phrase 'I am breathing' - You understand what I mean by this phrase. That is because the experience has been conceptualised into thought to enable 'me' to communicate the experience to 'you' so that you understand it (mentally). Is this not the case?

And there is another awareness of the breathing as a process. It is not thinking. It does not mean a thought ‘I am breathing”. It is just being a witness of witnessing with senses; it is pure non-judgmental awareness.

I understand what you are pointing to. But being without thought 'non-judgemental awareness' as perhaps you mean it by, 'I am breathing' does not appear.

'I am breathing' only appears when the mind/thought is used to conceptualise the experience.
Is this not the case?

Xain ♥

[Whitedot]

Hi Xain,

This statement is a relative view of an apparent event.
Can you give me your opinion of it in absolute terms?

Awakening experience happens when a sense of separate self dissolves.

[

b]Specifically, when you say 'I had an awakening experience', what is the 'I' that had it? What does the word 'I' in the phrase point to?[/b]

‘I’ doesn’t mean anything. No one had the experience. There is no particular ‘I’ that had the experience. It was just the experience happening.

…I might get the impression…that you went from having an identity of being a body/mind 'separate self', to having an identity of 'The Self, Non-Dual consciousness' etc

There was an indentity of being a body/mind seperate self before the experience but the identity got dissolved. There is no any identity now.

Do you have a true nature?

I don’t have a true nature. I am true nature with no ‘I’, just ‘true nature'.

Can you write or put down exactly what you now consider yourself to be, and perhaps give me some idea of how this is known?

I don’t consider anything as ‘myself’ or ‘I’. There are just thoughts and thinking about stories, ideas or whatever. And tere is an experience of seeing, hearing etc.

‘I can have thoughts and I can be aware of having thoughts’

This is an important phrase. What truth is there in this phrase?
Specifically, what is the 'I' that has the thoughts, and is aware of them?

I think that this is the difference between seperate self and unseperate awareness. In 'I have thoughts' there is an ilusion of seperate self, identity with an 'I' who has thoughts. 'I am aware of having thoughts' means that separate self is dissolved and there is just an awareness. Thoughts come and go but there is no one who is thinking, no specific 'I'.

What are 'internal and external worlds’?

It means that awareness is undivided, with no boudaries, where experience happening.

How does 'Non-dual awareness' appear to you?

I would not say that it appears. There is an awareness. And I would call it emptiness as well because there is nothing there. It is presence with constantly new experience of seeing, smelling or feeling.

We have smell, taste, touch, seeing and hearing. We also have thoughts appearing to us.
Which sense are you using? Or is 'Non-dual awareness' a thought about experience?

'Non-dual awareness' seems to be a thought about the experience. First it was an experience without any ‘labels’, 'judgment' - ‘thoughts’. Just pure experience without thinking.

I

f I say the phrase 'I am breathing' - You understand what I mean by this phrase. That is because the experience has been conceptualised into thought to enable 'me' to communicate the experience to 'you' so that you understand it (mentally). Is this not the case?

Yes, I completly agree.

I understand what you are pointing to. But being without thought 'non-judgemental awareness' as perhaps you mean it by, 'I am breathing' does not appear.

Yes, I agree, the thought doesn't appear at the moment.

'I am breathing' only appears when the mind/thought is used to conceptualise the experience.
Is this not the case?
Yes, completly agree.

with a smile
Kristina

[Xain]

Thanks for your reply, Kristina.

10 years ago (after 20 years of dedicated Zen practice) I had an awakening experience. It was a profound experience, the most important in my life. My life has changed completely since that.

Can you describe the experience. What happened?
What did it mean? What was realised?

Awakening experience happens when a sense of separate self dissolves.

What is meant by 'sense of separate self' - How does it manifest itself?
How does it 'dissolve'?

Why the interest in becoming a guide?
Do you guide 'others' at the moment?

Xain ♥

[Xain]

Forgive me - I realise you have already elaborated on what happened in your awakening experience.

Who I am – is non-dual Awareness, Presence.

If you were guiding someone, what would you say to them if they said this to you.

Are you guiding people at the moment?

Xain ♥

[Whitedot]

Hi Xain,

Can you describe the experience. What happened?
What did it mean? What was realised?

What happened then is just a story and I’ve realized that I told the story a few times and each time it’s a little bit different story… I described the story in my second letter on July 21, so now I would say something different.

This experience happened 10 years ago. It was profound in terms of luminosity and clarity that I am not separate, that separate self is just an illusion.

The difference before and after the experience was like the difference between night and day in All areas of my life. There was so much pain in my life before.

For example, before the experience I worked as psychotherapist at a non-profit agency assuming that ‘I have to’ work there until I will retire because - I believed - that I would never pass a clinical exam for a license that would allow me to have a private practice. 5 months later, after the experience, I passed the exam.

What is meant by 'sense of separate self' - How does it manifest itself?

It means identifying with ‘I’ - ‘My life’, ‘My beliefs’, ‘My values’, ‘My personality’, ‘My mind’, ‘My emotions’, ‘My body’, ‘My family’ etc. It manifests in expectations towards ‘myself’, ’life’, ‘other people’, ‘I-body’.

How does it ‘dissolve’?

Just by the ‘realization of the truth’ that it is just ‘thinking’ without ‘a thinker’; that it is just an image or a sound without anybody who seen or heard.

Do you guide 'others' at the moment?

I would say no and yes. No - because I’ve never presented myself to anybody as a guide or a ‘spiritual teacher’ or anything like that.
But most of my professional life I had worked as psychotherapist and a coach with women and teenagers. After the awakening experience I decided that it’s time for a change. I’ve become a parenting coach, a writer and a mindfulness trainer for educators, parents and children. I love what I do now. So, I teach mindfulness meditation and encourage people to question their beliefs.

Why the interest in becoming a guide?

I’ve been always fascinated by books, articles, movies, testimonials and science of awakening experience. I have worked with 5 teachers from different traditions, starting with Steiner’s meditation for a short time, then Zen practice for more than 20 years (with a great involvement in a Zen community); Tibetan Buddhism for a few years and Vedic yoga also for a few years). Now - no teachers, no formal group practice and I am happy with this.

26 years ago I immigrated to the States from Poland. For the past several years I go to Poland once a year and do workshops there. I am very grateful that I can do that.
When I was in Poland in May, a friend of mine told me about her awakening experience through LU (within a month…). I was amazed by the simplicity of the approach and I was talking to my friend that it would great to offer LU website in Polish. I told her that I will sign up and we will see. My friend continue working with Ilena. I think that offering people to free themselves from their suffering can be a the most precious gift.
with love,
Kristina

[Whitedot]

Hi Xain,
I will answer to your next question in a little bit.

:) Kristina

[Whitedot]

Hi Xain,

Who I am – is non-dual Awareness, Presence.

What more specifically mean ‘who I am’?
Who or what is ‘I’?
How would you describe Presence, non-dual Awareness?

;) Kristina

[Xain]

Hi Kristina

I am sorry for the delay in replying. I will be able to write more often from now on.

How would you describe Presence, non-dual Awareness?

I do not know what those terms mean in the context of what you are explaining.
I assume (but do not yet know for certain) that the words you are using maybe the same as the words 'God', 'Love', 'Awareness', 'This', 'KnowingKnown', 'Experience', 'Life', 'The Universe' etc, which is essentially giving a name to something that cannot be named as it is not a 'thing' - It cannot be conceptualised in such a fashion.

I shy well away from the use of such concepts as they may then become a new identity and belief system to replace the old one of 'I am a separate self (body/mind)', and have a tendency to form a new position from which to argue from. Further guiding work is needed on breaking down this new identification.

I know you are interested in being a guide here, and one of the main things in guiding here is to establish what the beliefs are that are held and examine them.
To put it in the more simple terms, ask 'What are you?' and from the responses given, further ask 'How do you know this?'

If the reply is 'I am this body', then further ask, 'How do you know this?' - Does the body operate the senses? Does the body control itself? Does the body choose and decide what to do? Does the body feel emotions?

If the reply is 'I am non-dual awareness', I would ask in a similar fashion 'How do you know this' and because of the confusion in language, I have to ask what exactly is 'non-dual awareness'. Does non-dual awareness choose? Does non-dual awareness operate the body?

This is where I am a little stuck and confused at the moment.
I need to establish exactly what is believed and why, and approach it from this angle.

You mention that 'The body has a history' - I need to explore this area further.
Could you give me some details as to exactly what you mean? - Maybe a few examples of the history that the body has? How it is known that the body has a history?

I need to know exactly what you mean here.
Do you mean that (for example) if the body has stretch-marks from childbirth, then it is clear that the body gave birth at some previous stage?
Or do you mean that (for example) the body went on Vacation / Holiday abroad and retains the history or memory of that Vacation / Holiday?

Xain ♥

[Whitedot]

Hi Xain,
I think it might be a misunderstanding, so I would like to make it clear as below:
In your letter from .... you said:

If you were guiding someone, what would you say to them if they said this to you.

Who I am – is non-dual Awareness, Presence.

Then, in my last letter, I suggested this:

How would you describe Presence, non-dual Awareness?

Then you wrote in your last letter as below:

I do not know what those terms mean in the context of what you are explaining.
I assume (but do not yet know for certain) that the words you are using maybe the same as the words 'God', 'Love', 'Awareness', 'This', 'KnowingKnown', 'Experience', 'Life', 'The Universe' etc, which is essentially giving a name to something that cannot be named as it is not a 'thing' - It cannot be conceptualised in such a fashion.

And now - I don't understand. I guess we are talking about two different things, right?

:) Kristina