Pete,
Here we go, this is it:
Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No, No, And No.
Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The illusion of separate self starts with a thought, the "I" thought.
This thought is added to any experience - Be it perceptions, Thoughts, actions, choices ,feelings or being. Until it is seen through (by enquiry and investigation or an act of "grace"), this thought sticks like Velcro to all experiences and thus creating an imagined separation bewtween "I" , "Me" and the world outside of "Me". Suddenly there is "Me" and "You", "here" and "there", an experiencer that experiences, a perceiver and perceived and so on.
This is the birth of duality.
How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Feels amazing, mind blowing. Everything is the same and dramatically different at the same time !! It's the difference between feeling closed in a small bowling ball - looking out from peepholes to an intimidating world, and
becoming the world, ever-changing , immense, strikingly beautiful. Very tough to explain in words, but that wasn't bad was it?? :)
"I" feel like an empty infinite container, ready and willing to become ANY experience. Now I finally understand what the sages meant when they said they were both empty and full at the same time !! (Pete, I wrote this to you before - but repeated it here for other guides to review).
This feels like finding a treasure - "I" just know this is what I was looking for....
What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
The last straw was when it was realized that "I" can't take credit for reducing thoughts in meditation. But the dominant push was looking in Direct experience. I also read the Gatecrashers Book, and installed the pointers App about a week before I asked Pete to guide me (only when I felt I was on fire and just
had to know...).
The preparation was very important for "ME".
Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control either. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from recent experience.
Decisions happen. Intentions happen. Free will is not free at all over here !! No choice or control.
Examples - The Rolling Stones are playing here today (actually, right now!!):
The illusion : "I" wanted/intended to go to the show. In Reality - That's a thought arising "wanting/intending to go to the show" plus the added notorious "I" thought.
The illusion :"I" decided not to go because it was too hot. In Reality -The decision happened and the "I" thought took credit for the decision.
The illusion :"I" chose to eat cake over Ice Cream for desert. In Reality - Choosing cake happened and the "I" thought took credit for the choice.
The illusion :"My" right hand is controling the mouse. In Reality - Right hand is moving the mouse, but no ONE is in control !! It just happens...
Anything to add?
No, only to REDUCE (the "I" thought !!)
Deep gratitude to Ilona, Elena, Pete and this wonderful community. Is this real?!
Shay