The Gate

Do they belong to someone? What do you see? Is there someone generating thoughts? I know the assumption is that someone generates thoughts but is it? Is there an I to be found other then as a thought? Would 'you' be doing anything if that thought would not pop?

Aha, I kinda get what you're saying, because I'm aware of I, how can 'I' be the source of the thoughts. Right?

Yeah, I is a thought. A thought cannot actually do anything, think, feel, observe. It can just pop and go. Also, can there be just awareness without an I? Does the eye need an I to look?

Wow, I'm experiencing a feeling of intense awareness while I'm contemplating the creation of the I thought, or me. What if I ceases to exist, would I still perceive existence or life? How can I be certain that I is real?

I rarely have moments of intense awareness such as these, unfortunately my mind creeps back in quickly. I feel as if a light bulb is switched on, but slowly the energy fades as mind beings to take control again.

I don't know if you know what I'm talking about haha...

Great ... go for the kill my friend. Do you perceive reality now? Or is reality just perceived? Really, does the I do something now or is it everything fine without it? So what if the 'I' that is supposed to exist but we never saw ceases to exist? Did it ever exist in the first place?

Keeo looking at that I thought.

That's deep, excuse me I'm going to have to sit with this for a while.

Sure ... take your time. This is not about talking about it ... it's about looking. So just keep looking at the creation of the I thought. Come later and tell me how it's going ...

Strange, I had dinner, now coming back I feel like I'm back in myself again :( I felt a sense of fear or better yet a feeling of 'uncomfortableness' existing here, almost like part of me was holding back or afraid to let go.

Sure there is fear. And that fear is also building on a sense of I. Just look at it. Meet fear fully ... what is this fear? Is there a you in that fear? Just look at it.

Thanks a lot for guiding me through this. I'm going to have to continue with this tomorrow. I felt I was so close but then somehow lost it. If I now try to get it back I'm stuck in attempting to re-create the experience. This happens to me all the time, trying to (re)create the desired state of being...

Don't try to recreate experiences. Just look at what's true. Just keep looking at the creation of the I thought

Just looking is enough? Does this involve thinking?
If I look at the creation of the I thought now, I see it is just fiction, but it's almost as if that is just another thought in itself.

That's all ... seeing that there's just fiction. That there's nothing to make that you. And sure it takes thoughts to explain this but that does not make it false. A thought about a cup of tea corresponds to a real cup of tea. A thought about I does not correspond to anything. That's all there is ... you don't exist. Look at the looking, is there a you in that or just looking? Is there any doubt that I is only fiction?

And just to make this clear ... this is not about a state or something. States are I constructs. States come and go. This is about seeing that you don't exist. That the I is only a thought and there's nothing behind it.

How's it going Manuel? Any I found?