Ready for a guide

[Delma]

Hi There,

We can look at sadness the same way as we look at fear. When you say, "I do have sadness", is that a convention of language? Is it more accurate to say "sadness is appearing"?

Isn't it interesting that the attachment and tension isn't really there either? Why do you suppose these things dissolve when the owner is looked for?

As for the watcher... Does there have to be one? A Watcher is another "I" or self, but if one can't be found, is it possible it's because it doesn't exist? What is actually happening during this 'watching with no watcher'? Is it like a play or movie that continues whether there is an audience?

[Taras]

Hi Delma,

Yeah i can see it just convention of language, emotion just show up out of no where. Now i'm not 100% certain that i'm feeling it, when i look, it dissolve. Is possible that they are imaginary? All my life I thought emotion were something very real like a rock on the ground, when i really look its not there.

They don't really exist in the first place, right? I thought that how a person suppose to feel, when i'm missing someone "I" need to feel sad. Its a concept I pick up from a romantic movie. I'm wondering why would I believe something that its not even real, that's so stupid of me.

Its possible the watcher doesn't exist because i can't seem to pick point it where it is but then whats the point then? If the movie is playing in the cinema and there are no audience, there no reason for the movie to play?
But life is playing by itself with no one to enjoy it?

[Delma]

Emotion is there, it's just not solid, real, opaque, or unyielding. Sort of takes the punch out of the emotions to notice that. They appear, yes. No doubt. But we usually think of them as something that has some substance or core when upon investigating they just sort of fall apart.... the center doesn't hold.

But yes, they do 'exist' in that they are definitely experienced.... which brings me to your next point....

Is it possible that the reason for the movie to play is for the joy of playing and nothing more? Is it an assumption that the movie needs a purpose? Does life *need* a purpose?

[Taras]

Yes I would love to agree with you, that life is just for joy of playing and life does not need a purpose but what is the struggle is for, all suffering that every person go through. I want to live in the moment, in the now. I've have experience glimpse of it, how do you stay there? How do i cross the gate?

I mediate 3 hours today it was really nice, i feel amazing and i have no thoughts, just complete silence occasionally random thought pop up what do i now when i reach that point? What should be the next step?

Even when i feel great, so happy when i reach that level i'm still not content, What should i do?

Taras

[Delma]

This isn't at all about a state and that's the biggest myth in spiritual circles which keeps people seeking for years and years.

The truth is plain to see just by checking, but the mind builds this into a state which must be maintained. Who, if there is no self, would maintain that state?

Does it make sense that it cannot be a state that a "you" could maintain?

[Taras]

Yeah it makes sense and that's even better nothing need to be maintain. I can understand intellectually "I" "me" "you" are just labels. Seeing it is the tricky part.

Do you think you could should me an example of the questions how would question yourself? It would help me a lot.

[Taras]

could show me*

[Delma]

There is actually no mystery to this at all. And I do mean *NO* mystery! lol...

Truth would have to be absolutely plain and simple, don't you think? So I've got no idea how all of the mystery got built up around it. The method we use here is a very rudimentary one and is so simple that it's often dismissed. But what if you were to *not* dismiss your findings. What if instead they intrigued you to really consider what it means?

Let's do the checking now. And let's end the mystery.

Do you have a cell phone? Please check for it now and tell me how you checked to find its existence. Describe it in detail via all of the senses... what does it look like? how does it feel in the hand? what about the surface?

How did you "know" it was there?

[Taras]

Ok i will not dismiss anything i find.

How do i know i have a cell phone?

Well i can see the cell phone charging on my desk. I can pick it up, its real. I can see it with my eyes, I can hold in my hands, its very light, it has glass surface front and back, it very smooth. I can hear when it rings. I can play with it and interact with it. Seeing it make me feel 100% certain that it exist.

[Delma]

Yes. That's the test of our finding 'real' things. There's a sensory "read" on the very object looked for. It's doubtless.

Try to do the same for a self, this thing we've always assumed has been there throughout our entire lives. What happens? Can any of it be detected? In what ways?

[Taras]

When I look for the self, i cant locate anywhere. There's ideas and belief about them but no evidence that its "real" in sensory perception.

It makes me worry how am "i" suppose to continue living life knowing the my "real" personal identity doesn't really exist. How am I going to make decisions or choices knowing there's nothing personal to be gain. I feel scared in way feels like this the end?

[Delma]

Hi Taras.

You've done well. Fear is a sign that you're getting a glimpse of truth. But let's take a look at the fear a bit. If the self doesn't exist now, then it never existed but life has continued. The lack of a separate self doesn't mean the end of life, it means the end of the egocentric thought patterns that claim life as its own.

So, instead of "I am answering or reading this post", the truth is closer to "Reading and writing happens". The structure of an "I" has never been there and the reading and writing still happened without interruption. Notice this and then take a walk out in nature or observe pets. Without a self, everything runs very smoothly. It's merely thoughts that say otherwise.

Life will continue. Decisions will be made, just as they always have. The impression that a you has made them isn't real when examined closely.

If this feels like the end, tell me what it would be the end of? If the self has never been there, can it suddenly end? Isn't this more like a sort of recognition of what's always been true?

[Taras]

Hi Delma,

I had this interesting point of view where i saw everything around as "one" picture. Like a landscape painting, "this" body i'm inside of it. I notice the mind, ego would label "I am driving" - "I am listening to music" - "I am turning on this street" but everything felt "one" picture... "car is driving" there's no need for me to identify what i am doing right now. Felt like everything happens by it self. I'm not sure for to describe and i hope it makes sense what "i'm" writing right now. Does it make sense to you?

Yes, when it feels like i'm an observer of life, when i'm driving everything runs so smoothly, cars stop and go everything moves perfectly like its some kind of grand design and its on autopilot or something.

But I was wondering if you explain me where does motivation come in this role? There part of me feels like i want to make it practical, knowing that there's no me, how can I life with out an "I"? I've been struggle financially for quite a while, I lose interesting in everything "i" start. "I" can see that "I" "me" doesn't exist but how does motivation acts as part in living life?

It feels like the end of my social statues that i build, that "image". "I'm this kind of person, I have this, my career, what i have - I go to this school, I am nice person" it lose all meaning in way. It feels like its the end because everything i was doing such as self-improvement courses or reading spiritual texts is to improve myself? But "I" does't exist, there's nothing for me to do then?

[Delma]

Hi Taras,

There has never been a you living this out. All motivation comes from life itself, not from a you. Look at what has brought 'you' to this point now...

Why are 'you' interested in the things you're interested in?
Why did you start a spiritual or self improvement search?

Where did the motivation to do that come from? Didn't it just come? From wherever all motivation comes from? The fallacy is in assigning an "I" to the motivation. Life just lives. It continues. It can't be stopped. Would that include coming in the form of motivation? If thoughts come unheeded, then can we say where motivation comes from?

[Taras]

I don't know know why "I" am interested in the things i'm interested in, probably because i'm looking for some kind of fulfillment in life. The thought that wants to know where motivation wants to find the "source". I can see now its another idea i have about to being liberated.

Why did "I" start this spiritual search?
I don't when but i lost the "drive" for life, everything seems so empty and meaningless. I know there's more to life then being worried about the future and thinking about the past.

I was thinking about for a while and looks like motivation comes out of know where, like thoughts come and go. Even if I knew exactly where motivation is, it doesn't matter because its still a thought wondering about more thoughts.

I'm so frustrated about all this, I feel completely lost with "my" life. Feeling of uncertainty about everything now, doubting what to do next.