The Gate

Dear Caroline,
If you have seen through the illusion of separation would you like the final questions?
Love,
Nettie

Hi Nettie,

Yes please :-)

thank you
Caroline

Dear Caroline,

Here are the final questions:

1)Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2)Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3)How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4)What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5)Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6)Anything to add?

Love,
Nettie

Dear Nettie,

Here are my answers:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

There is no separate “I” anywhere in any way, shape or form. “I” is just a thought, perception arising in the mind. There has never been an “I”, there has only ever been “life”, one continuous stream of flow.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of a separate self is a belief that there is an “I” separate from life that has its own experiences, thoughts, feelings and sensations which it controls. When a baby is born it is one with the flow of life and then learns to form a separate “I”dentity.

Senses are experienced in the body and thoughts arise from the mind to try to understand and label what is happening. The mind perceives that there is a separate “I” that experiences these sensations and it stores all its perceptions. It replays these perceptions again and again strengthening the sense of separation and continues to create new perceptions to make sense of the world.

There is the perception that “I” is in control of what happens but life happens on its own and it is the mind that perceives and labels experiences afterwards. Thinking just happens, perceiving just happens then the mind labels it as happening to “me”. Fear arises and is identified with; reinforcing that there is a separate “I” in charge of what happens. The more this happens the more “we” become sure that this is who we are and thoughts keep arising to confirm it to us…it is a constant cycle, which just happens all on its own.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

There is the relief that there is nothing to search for as like I said before “I” cannot search when “I” do not exist!
It doesn’t feel that much different than before as it has been quite gradual. There is a big sense of relief that there is no “me” that controls life and everything just feels freer and lighter.

There are sounds, sensations, thoughts and perceptions everywhere and they don’t even feel like they’re in this body anymore but they feel like they’re just somewhere but everywhere, just happening.

It is like being in the present all the time but not having to try to be. It’s a knowing, that life just is and that thoughts of “I” that come up are just a made up story. It’s like “I” is disappearing into the background, into nothingness, I don’t think it’s possible to explain in words.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

I think it was the realisation that the perceiver of thoughts that can be seen to be “me” is just perception arising that blends with everything else in a constant flow. It was seeing that I am what I was searching for, what I was resisting!

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

There is no “me” to choose or control events in life so it is impossible to make anything happen. “I” is imagined! Life happens by itself and it is just the mind that perceives and labels experiences, separating everything then believing it has separate control. “I” gets up to go to the toilet before the thought has even come to do it, words come out of the mouth so quickly, automatically from the programmed mind and ideas just pop up on their own.

6) Anything to add?

Just to say thank you for guiding me Nettie. It feels like everything I’ve ever tried to understand is now understood.

Love
Caroline

Dear Caroline,
Could you please give more examples for question number five?
Thank you
Love,
Nettie

Hi Nettie,

Yes, I will try to explain it a bit more.

“I” doesn’t exist so cannot decide, choose or control events in life. All events are flowing with everything else in life so no events are separate. Deciding, intending and choosing are happening but they are not happening to “me”. Thoughts are arising that “I” is deciding, choosing but it is just thoughts separating experiences up when really it is all just experience.

So sitting here on the sofa deciding happens, reaching for a drink happens, typing is happening all independently of an “I”. There are thoughts appearing that there is a “me” who is controlling these events but really it’s all just happening and there are various thoughts arising about what is happening. Deciding and choosing just happen without a decider or a chooser.. nothing is causing this to happen but thought finds a cause for it.

This is all that is coming for now,
Many thanks
Caroline

Dear Caroline,
It's been confirmed that you've seen through the illusion of separation.
It has been beautiful to be with you during your inquiry.
LU has many FB groups that are supportive.
Please send me your FB name so we can add you if you like.
Much love,
Nettie