The Gate

with the recognition that i'm lost in emotion, comes the recognition that habit still asserts itself. Not that i must be identifying with a self.

This is helpful. There is still a story that "seeing" hasn't really happened, but regardless, seeing the apparent assertion of identification with "self" as simply an assertion of habit takes some of the edge off.

see that you idea of failure to 'get it' is based on the idea of a complete and permanent 'state' of enlightenment.

Yes, I have maintained that i "know" that seeing includes not seeing, but the constant evaluation suggests that indeed, the story of permanent clarity persists. at least that story is seen as story now!

Is it true that you just deduce that (a self) exists ?

when looking happens, the "i" is seen as a story, but the assumption (deduction) feels impenetrable and all encompassing at all other times. even when the "i" in my head is seen as story the story (which feels mostly like an attachment to body, desires, attachments, fears) feels very real and relevant.

rupert spira quote floats a bit around my head head, but i'll sit with it... certainly the body as container of habit resonates.

off to bed,
ix

seeing the apparent assertion of identification with "self" as simply an assertion of habit takes some of the edge off.

Yes, you could even go as far as to recognize that the story of Self is/will be an ongoing necessity for daily navigation.
The only (behavioural) difference is that the story is seen for what it is. The experiential difference though, is huge.(for vince)
A good parallel is the idea of Truth. Have you ever experienced a Truth ? Is there such a thing as a Truth ?
Although it is commonly taken as a thing. It isn't. It is nothing more than a concept. Yet, for daily life we have to behave AS IF, it actually exists.

the story of permanent clarity persists. at least that story is seen as story now!

Excellent. Now that you see it as story, it can be dropped.
The clarity is always there. When it is looked for, focussed on.
Does that mean that it doesn't exist when it is not noticed ?

..feels very real and relevant.

Of course it feels real. That's the result of a lifetime of conditioning and reinforcement. The Rubber hand illusion feels real too. Does that make it actually real ?
Will it continue to feel real ?
Probably. It is more useful if it feels real. Just as it is more useful to see 'other' people as separate from the Ix organism is more useful for daily operating. It doesn't make it actually so.

love

vince