need a guide to push me

[Paulo]

Hi escoho,

The thought is in the present,I am not sure if thoughts are even separate or the same thought, that has just changed .

Nicely put, and yes indeed, thoughts all occur in the moment, whether that's a thought ABOUT the past or ABOUT the future - it all happens in the here and now, there is nothing else.

In the present moment I did not find an "I" but enjoyed looking.

In my experience too there is no 'I' in the present moment, because the present moment is not preserved. It's a constant flow of change, and no stable thing called 'I' can exist there.


Let us look in even more detail at the present moment, and see if there's a seperate 'I' -

Pick a time in your day (when it's safe to do so), and mentally shout 'STOP'. At that moment completely freeze, stop dead. No matter where you are or what you're doing - pretend you are a stone statue and freeze.

Take the next 60 secs and just be aware of life happening.

Is there anything there controlling or creating this experience?

Does life need a 'you' to happen? Did it ever?

[Be strict with yourself on this one - freeze completely, no body movement, no scratching that itch - you get the idea!]

With love, Paulo.

[escoho]

Life stops for no "I" and just as well continue without an I. There are forces creating the experience but they are beyond me

[Paulo]

Hi escoho,

Life stops for no "I" and just as well continue without an I

You can see from this simple exercise that life just carries on with or without an 'I' there controlling it or creating it - just like a river it keeps on flowing.

There are forces creating the experience but they are beyond me

This 'me' you're referring to - is this part of the experience too, or is it something seperate from experience?

Paulo.

[escoho]

Yea the me is part of experience

[Paulo]

Hi escoho,

Before we go any further, from the responses you're providing I have to ask the question -

Have you seen through the illusion of self?

Paulo

[escoho]

I believe so

[Paulo]

Hi escoho,

I'm not certain how to interpret your response "I believe so".

Is that a 'yes', or a 'no''?

The response seemed to lack conviction, as if it's a tentative reply, or as if you're not quite sure.

Are there any doubts about seeing through the illusion of self?
[Don't worry, if you actually do have any doubts, we can work through them one at a time, it's not a big deal]

Paulo :)

[escoho]

Yes there is doubt

[escoho]

I still feel like I am a doer

[Paulo]

Hi escoho, thanks for your honesty,

I still feel like I am a doer

What does the word 'I' point to in the here and now, in the present moment?

Take a good hard look at something you are doing, really look at the very moment that doing is happening -

Is there a doer there separate from the doing?

Paulo.

[escoho]

The I is just a word to me it doesn't trigger any belief, and the doing feels like it come from the gut, but there's hesitation, from where it comes from? The gut also I think. The thoughts are cunning, they follow the feeling closely and have things to say about it, they seem to hide the connection between what's done and what does.

[Paulo]

Hi escoho,

The thoughts are cunning, they follow the feeling closely and have things to say about it

In my experience too, thoughts will come up with all kinds of stories as to 'why' things happen, or feel the way they do. If we buy into these stories we may not see what's actually there in the moment.

So, there is a feeling in the gut when things are done. Let's use a practical exercise to see what's really happening -

Open up a new Word document on your computer. Spend the next 60 secs just typing into that document - don't think about what to write, don't stop for a single moment - just keep typing.
(If you do find yourself stopping or hesitating - start the exercise from the beginning).

Observe your movement as you do this exercise - is there an escoho there making all those muscles and joints move to enable you to type with such precision?

Read what is written in the Word document, Is there an escoho carefully choosing each of those words, or sequences of characters?

Is there really a doer, or is this how the mind explains 'why' doing occurs instead of just accepting what's actually happening?

Paulo.

[escoho]

There can be a doer if I choose so, but things may also happen on their own without any loss in awareness, the way of doing is only meditating if I observe the actions about to be complete they will change their nature, but the action is destined to happen though its form is free from self, cause and effect can still be manipulated. There is no one manipulating but as for being awareness itself freedom seems to exist. I could not imagine it otherwise. By meditating I don't mean practice but the nature of free will.

[Paulo]

Hi escoho,

It's important that you give the suggested exercises a good honest go, and answer the questions directly. Have another go at those questions, and share your experience as fully as you can.

I understand your focus is on 'free will' and we will look at this shortly.

Paulo

[escoho]

There is no escoho choosing words or making the movements there is plenty to be written even if it doesn't make sense the connection between the words exists and basically write themselves.
There is no doer but things are being done, not by something that is "dead", what is it? Momentum I guess. Is it illusionary? I believe its the lack of being centered. Thoughts are momentum action is momentum. Self is the compromise between concepts and reality, the "gap", not anything but empty space. "Why" implies that something was done, nothing ever is, it is only concepts attached to the momentum of action and thought, when concepts are momentum themselves, so if a concept is attached to an mental or physical event, which is acceptable phenomena in life, then it may seem that the result would be tension created because two momentums are not always going to continue parallel. The nature of self is the clinging, when there is nothing to cling to, only objectless momentums