The Gate

Beautiful Bill.

I am on travels so sorry for the delay to respond and only have access to iPhone tonight.

Sounds like a relaxation set in that freed from the contraction of an imagined separate self, "a great burden lifted" as u said?

You wrote..."just a body with no imaginary self"...
In direct experience can you locate a "body" or is that a thought story as well?
Sit there...
And report back what is experienced?

Love to hear how the movement thru your days ahead goes?
Thanks for your care and continued attention here.
Love
Coll

Hi Coll,

I am on travels so sorry for the delay to respond and only have access to iPhone tonight.

That's not a problem at all. Thank you very much for taking time during your travels to talk with me here.

Sounds like a relaxation set in that freed from the contraction of an imagined separate self, "a great burden lifted" as u said?

Yes, that's what it felt like.

You wrote..."just a body with no imaginary self"...
In direct experience can you locate a "body" or is that a thought story as well?
Sit there...
And report back what is experienced?

In direct experience there is no identification of a body or any other object. Without thought, there is no identification or distinction.

Love to hear how the movement thru your days ahead goes?

Okay, I'll let you know if anything unusual happens.

Hi Bill,

thanks for your message and love being here to share and honor even on travels.

n direct experience there is no identification of a body or any other object. Without thought, there is no identification or distinction.

yes, and is there any experience of separation when there is no identification as a separate self?

loving,
Colleen


Your truth sets U free

Hi Colleen,

is there any experience of separation when there is no identification as a separate self?

No, there isn't.

Hi Bill,

beautiful, yes there is no separation as found in your direct experience, has there really ever been?

As you have shared that there is no separate self behind the thought "I" and or then separation found as u experienced,
Then what is aware of this sentence, what are you?

See u back here.
Loving,
Coll

Your truth will set U free

Hi Coll,

there is no separation as found in your direct experience, has there really ever been?

No, not really.

As you have shared that there is no separate self behind the thought "I" and or then separation found as u experienced,
Then what is aware of this sentence, what are you?

There is a collection of biological processes. Awareness exists, but I don't know how it proceeds from that collection of processes, if indeed it does.

Hi Bill,

"Awareness exists, I don't know how it proceeds...."

Yes it is always there, and who is there to know? :)
Isn't that more thought that arises in this "awareness"?
Is there just THIS experiencing awareness happening and to no one or therefore no other?

Loving,
Coll

"When My own absence is experienced, I wake up as everything."

Hi Coll,

Yes it is always there, and who is there to know?

Awareness somehow just observes itself.

Isn't that more thought that arises in this "awareness"?

Yes, that's true.

Is there just THIS experiencing awareness happening and to no one or therefore no other?

It appears so.

Hi Bill,

home now.

Awareness somehow just observes itself.

yes! Is there any "doer" doing that or does it just happen this "awareness"?


What is arising there today, how is looking going??

Notice, when the thought "I" or "me" arises, is there anyone doing that?


loving,
Coll

Look and set U free

Hi Coll,

Is there any "doer" doing that or does it just happen this "awareness"?

I'm going to spend a little more time on this question. This feels like it may be the key I've been missing.

What is arising there today, how is looking going??

Well, I feel I've regressed a little bit since the breakthrough experience I had last week. For a couple of days, it felt like the "self" was truly on the verge of dying out. Things that normally irritate me had stopped having any effect — the unreality of the defensive, possessive "I" was very clear in this awareness. But the story of the self has reemerged strongly now. I guess it's just the strength of habit — the brain is just so used to spinning these illusions about "me." Ironically, the very attempt to overcome the self is now a frequent topic of these silly daydreams!

Notice, when the thought "I" or "me" arises, is there anyone doing that?

No, there isn't. Such thoughts just arise.

Hi Bill,

thanks for sharing and yes understand the habit of self emerging.

Is there any "doer" doing that or does it just happen this "awareness"?
I'm going to spend a little more time on this question. This feels like it may be the key I've been missing.

When I is seen as a thought, can there be a "doer" of thoughts? even labels like, "awareness" isn't that a thought that arises in this to label it?

it felt like the "self" was truly on the verge of dying out. Things that normally irritate me had stopped having any effect —

Can the "self" die out?...what if it comes and goes beautifully on it's own?

But the story of the self has reemerged strongly now. I guess it's just the strength of habit

who can control that?
what is it like to just let it emerge?

the brain is just so used to spinning these illusions about "me." Ironically, the very attempt to overcome the self is now a frequent topic of these silly daydreams!

in direct experience, is there a brain?
have you ever had the thought, "rainbow", then once it comes in, you see it?, isn't "me" just the same...an innocent arising that feels real?

is there really an experience of separation, even when the "I" arises?
Isn't "I" and "me" part of all of all of this, just like "rainbow"?
who needs to overcome the self then? why, what for?

Notice, when the thought "I" or "me" arises, is there anyone doing that?

No, there isn't. Such thoughts just arise.

yes, exactly. (hrt)

look forward to here your answers,
loving,
Coll

"The only obstacle to your enlightenment is the belief that you are not enlightened" Ramana Maharashi

Hi Coll,

When I is seen as a thought, can there be a "doer" of thoughts? even labels like, "awareness" isn't that a thought that arises in this to label it?

No, there is no doer of thoughts. And it's true, even "awareness," when labeled as such, is a matter of thought. It took me a while to get this, but I see it now.

Can the "self" die out?...what if it comes and goes beautifully on it's own?

You're right. It seems I've been approaching this the wrong way. I was looking at it in term of confrontation and struggle, but yes, I can see now that it isn't a question of "killing" the self, but of letting go of the ownership of it. The illusion of a self does come and go on its own.

who can control that?
what is it like to just let it emerge?

- No one controls it.
- I will take some time today to experience this and then report what happens.

in direct experience, is there a brain?
have you ever had the thought, "rainbow", then once it comes in, you see it?, isn't "me" just the same...an innocent arising that feels real?

- No, not even a brain is detectable. I realize now that this has been a sticking point — substituting "brain" for "I" when in truth neither label refers to any continuous unit of identity that owns thoughts or experience.
- It's true. The "I" just arises on its own, which in and of itself is neither good nor bad. It just is. Hostility and aversion toward the illusory self are unwarranted.

is there really an experience of separation, even when the "I" arises?
Isn't "I" and "me" part of all of all of this, just like "rainbow"?
who needs to overcome the self then? why, what for?

- No, not really.
- It's true. There is no separation in this.
- There is no one to overcome the self. There is no one who could have a reason for doing so.

look forward to here your answers

Thank you, Coll. I appreciate your patient guidance.

Hi Bill,

great looking here! and appreciate your willingness to stay present with your answers.

No, there is no doer of thoughts. And it's true, even "awareness," when labeled as such, is a matter of thought. It took me a while to get this, but I see it now.

yes, no doer, all just arises in this...thoughts, sensations, feelings....and notice are they happening to "someone"?
did "you" do them?...how could u if "you" is a thought?

I can see now that it isn't a question of "killing" the self, but of letting go of the ownership of it. The illusion of a self does come and go on its own.

yes, just like the thought "rainbow" the image comes in the minute it arises as well as the self...
what happens the minute "self", "me" arises in this? what is noticed?
what are you before the thought "I" comes in?

- No, not even a brain is detectable. I realize now that this has been a sticking point — substituting "brain" for "I" when in truth neither label refers to any continuous unit of identity that owns thoughts or experience.

yes, yes! it needs "brain" or "mind" to hook in as real or true, exactly...sit in direct experience without reference to brain, mind, body, therefore "I" and what is noticed?

- It's true. The "I" just arises on its own, which in and of itself is neither good nor bad. It just is. Hostility and aversion toward the illusory self are unwarranted.

beautiful, yes it is an innocent ariseing. Would you have aversion to the thought "rainbow" and all the colors that appear with it...how about the same with "self" and all the (empty) stories that arise in it as well?

is there really an experience of separation, even when the "I" arises?
Isn't "I" and "me" part of all of all of this, just like "rainbow"?
who needs to overcome the self then? why, what for?

- No, not really.
- It's true. There is no separation in this.
- There is no one to overcome the self. There is no one who could have a reason for doing so.

yes, it is all ONE awareness happening...in direct experience, no thoughts, labels....is there even an "other" separate in this or "objects"...could it all be one happening?

see u here again and look forward to what arises here,
loving,
Coll

"When "I" disappears, what is experienced is u are nothing and everything".

Hi Coll,

yes, no doer, all just arises in this...thoughts, sensations, feelings....and notice are they happening to "someone"?
did "you" do them?...how could u if "you" is a thought?

- No. Thoughts, sensations, and feelings are not happening to anyone (in the sense of a continuous self). They just happen.
- No, "I" did not do them. It's true — as the self is only a thought, it does not really do anything.

yes, just like the thought "rainbow" the image comes in the minute it arises as well as the self...
what happens the minute "self", "me" arises in this? what is noticed?
what are you before the thought "I" comes in?

- When I look, I don't see when a self arises exactly. It doesn't really seem to arise when I look closely. The self seems to sneak up when there is no attention.
- When there is no "I" thought, there is no thought of what I am or what I am not.

it needs "brain" or "mind" to hook in as real or true, exactly...sit in direct experience without reference to brain, mind, body, therefore "I" and what is noticed?

There is only experience itself. There is no labeling, no division of experience into categories of things.

Would you have aversion to the thought "rainbow" and all the colors that appear with it...how about the same with "self" and all the (empty) stories that arise in it as well?

True, there is no need for aversion.

yes, it is all ONE awareness happening...in direct experience, no thoughts, labels....is there even an "other" separate in this or "objects"...could it all be one happening?

It's true, in pure experience nothing is identifiable as a separate object. Yes, I see now how it could be all one happening.

Hi Bill,

- No. Thoughts, sensations, and feelings are not happening to anyone (in the sense of a continuous self). They just happen.
- No, "I" did not do them. It's true — as the self is only a thought, it does not really do anything.

yes.

- When there is no "I" thought, there is no thought of what I am or what I am not.

beautiful...without the "I" thought...is there just experiencing happening?

it needs "brain" or "mind" to hook in as real or true, exactly...sit in direct experience without reference to brain, mind, body, therefore "I" and what is noticed?

There is only experience itself. There is no labeling, no division of experience into categories of things.

yes, are you labeling or is labeling happening?
Can labeling be known to be accurate...eg. fear, hurt, suffering....are you creating those labels or is it thoughts naming it? Can those labels even be accurate or just habits of thoughts labeling, just like the label "self" or "I"?

yes, it is all ONE awareness happening...in direct experience, no thoughts, labels....is there even an "other" separate in this or "objects"...could it all be one happening?

It's true, in pure experience nothing is identifiable as a separate object. Yes, I see now how it could be all one happening.

**beautiful** yes all-one-happening, can you experience there is "no one" really there yet it is connected as it all?

let me know what else is arising there...what are thoughts saying today in looking here, does it feel clear or any questions arising?

take time to sit if you can or walk in nature and feel into this non separation without reference to this imagined separate self....
describe this experience.

see u here again and grateful for your care here.
loving,
Coll

"Your Truth sets U free"