Guide Available, Metta here.

[Metta777]

Who is there to die? There is no death in reality. No, "I". You don't exist and neither does anyone exist. Transformation, yes. Ending no. Choiceless awareness. Experiencing the Now directly. Does it relieve pain? Yes, breathing just happens. Life just happens. Thoughts just happen. Are they you? Yes, ego loves anything that will keep it alive. Identifying with our pain bodies is a trap. Look at your body without ownership. Examine the thought closely while looking at your body, notice the sensations. :-)

[Tara]

If there is no I, then its only a physical body that can die.

No death in reality…. Would you mind if I ask you something Metta? How is reality defined?

If you experience the Now directly, then I guess that it does relieve pain. It becomes more of a sensation within the body that is felt. Something that is experienced rather than something to become maybe…

Thoughts are not me… Thoughts just happen. To explain this is not easy :s

Negative feeling within the body sit uncomfortably in the stomach, the feeling would still be there but to watch it rather than think that its real makes it a different experience.

The thing you mentioned about a few comments ago – ‘Probably over time it has been noticeable that things can be the same as far as circumstances but from one day to the next we might feel totally different. How would you interpet that?......... Today is a good day to look at this. There are feelings coming up today about things that I haven’t really looked at and maybe really should. Maybe to look much more deeply at certain things that reoccur would be beneficial.

The mobile phone I was using has been lost, so I can only reply during work hours which is Monday to Friday as there is no other internet access I can use over the weekend.

[Metta777]

Reality is defined in the NOW moment. Thoughts happen, perceptions happen, life happens, sensations happen,arising in the now moment. The past is only a story we tell ourselves, it has no reality ,it is gone, it can't be relived. The future is imagination because we can't live there as it doesn't exist yet. It hasn't happened. Do you see an " I " anywhere in that? If thinking is happening and the thinking is being watched, you are examining what is being thought, who is the watcher? I interpet that to mean, that it is only perceptions, which constantly change, which are not " I " . If possible tell me what is in your stomach, what feelings arise with that perception? when the thought comes, " I don't exist", what feelings come up now?

[Tara]

Who is the watcher?...... The watcher is awareness. Its not an I and has no physical form to describe. It is very hard to put this into words… its just there; all around us.

Is this space for me to ask you questions as well Metta? If so - Do we all experience being in awareness in the same way or do we have different experiences of it?

What arises when the thought of I don’t exist comes….. There is a pitted feeling in my stomach. It’s like butterflies when you get excited, but has a slightly less fun feel about it. When the butterfly feeling is for fun, the feeling is a short ‘flitsy’ feeling whereas this is much longer and deeper. It feels like a trawler boat is floating around in there with a big ole net…. That boat and the net being the attachment to all the things that do not exist. Haha…. This is very hard to explain. To proceed down this path, the boat needs to catch all of those attachments and get rid…? Can you still have attachment once you pass these gates?????

Tara

[Metta777]

[quoteThe watcher is awareness][/quote] Yes, good. We all have different experiences, yes.

That boat and the net being the attachment to all the things that do not exist. Haha….

Exactly, that boat is so heavy , filled with things that are being dragged along that are illusions about the " I " that does not exist. The story that is created by perceptions, sensations, experiences that are no longer there. Wouldn't it be great just to let that net go? Your doing very well explaining. :-) Tell me about Tara with no " I " . We don't want to catch the things in the net, we want to let them go to disappear. Like the non-existent " I ". Now you have the key in sight, let's break out of prison. :-) Fear or anxiety is natural . Sure, once you pass the gate there is a group, for any residual attachments. There are a list of questions that are asked first. Do you see an " I " or indentity anywhere when you really look? Looking deeply is important. Luv, Metta

[Tara]

Ha! Yes, to let them all go is why this is happening.

Not quite sure how to tell you about Tara without any I attached to things….. Is it the I that would enjoy doing certain things, the I that has preference etc? Does preference even exist after passing????? There are things that are great to do, eat, sing etc, but is it the I that has decided to like these things? Equally things that are not enjoyed; is that all I as well?

There seems to be a lot of kindness, and enjoyment of simple things, but how will it become apparent if it is without I?

Language feels like a trap. A friend said last night during a conversation that the more I and me are used the more it is enforcing the belief in the thought. The gate is in sight, but there are lots of mini obstacles.

Do these obstacles need picking open and apart to be understood or do we just jump and take a sprint and forget them?

The same friend has passed the gate (or so it seems) and is constantly picking things out that are said or done and saying that its all done heedlessly; is this constant picking good for helping to diminish the ego, or is this a projection of his own experience?

Being defensive is something that comes up often, so this is something caught very well in this net… Things do not go un-noticed, more so than anyone this had been mentioned to can realize! But during the work that is trying to be done and acknowledgement of certain things it’s like there is no progress. It is noticed that there is still an I in there, but how can a person with different experience be so sure and so definite that all is not being done properly??

Is the journey that you took the same as other people here that help people through the gate? Can they be certain that something you may do, say is done heedlessly without being looked at and deem it as no progress?

Is being from people an act of hiding and not dealing with things or is it good time to take and try and solidify the fact that there is no I? Looking at everything and seeing that I has taken ownership of it needs just to be addressed in awareness, the more this is practiced, the more clearly we will see it right????

The friend said that the fact that i managed to loose a mobile phone and some money on two separate occasions almost within the same week was an indication that I was being headless and that something needs to be looked at and addressed. There was no feeling of loss, in fact there was total acceptance for both of these things. Initially with the phone, there was a moment of disappointment maybe, but it was literally a moment of being in that thought and then it subsided because I accepted that it was gone; The I did not loose anything, the phone was just no longer there. No attachment to the phone. Is the situation then being ‘brushed under the carpet’ or was the response to this a sign that the gate was a tiny bit closer? It’s hard to see how the friend came to the conclusion that it was headless. OR is this the ego
being stealth??

There are days when the I seem weaker and further away, other days it seems that the I much more there!! :-s

Tara 

[Tara]

is being away from people*

[Metta777]

Hi Tara, I asked Neil to come in and help, I think he has some good pointers. Thanks, metta.

[cosmiK]

Hey there Tara,

I'll be jumping in for now and working with you. It seems like you have made some great progress, and have a good grasp of this 'self' thing, however, we need to investigate this deeper. Since I do things systematically, I hope you don't mind if I do my thing/process from the beginning, It just helps establish the flow of my technique, and ensure that the investigation that we engage on together leads to the realization.

There are a few ground rules, please respond to confirm (and I am sure you are doing most of this already):

1. You agree to post at least every day.
2. I will post questions, and you will answer them.
3. When you answer you answer 110% honestly,
4. and when you do answer, you try to answer from your direct experience (felt senses and observed thoughts). Long winded analytical and philosophical answers are not needed and may even hinder progress.
5. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies and such for the remainder of this journey. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily and essential meditation practice, it is fine to continue that.
6. Please learn to use the quote function. Instruction is directly below:
http://liberationunleashed.com/nation/v ... ?f=4&t=660

This is an example of something that is quoted! Hello :P:P

I look forward to working with you :):):)

[Tara]

Please learn to use the quote function. Instruction is directly below:[quote][/quote]

Hi Niel,

Thank you for accepting to help. The above is all agreed and have just followed the quote instructions above to see that it works OK. :)

[Tara]

Please learn to use the quote function. Instruction is directly below:

[Tara]

Also thank you Metta :)

[cosmiK]

Tara,

Great.

We are going to investigate your experience, and use this investigation as a way of arriving at Truth. It will be simple raw direct observing from you. But before that can begin...

Let's start with the first important question.

- What are your expectations for Awakening? For seeing in to no-self? What do you think it will give do for you/change your life?

Let's get this started shall we.

[Metta777]

Your welcome Tara, enjoy.

[Tara]

Hi neil,

Expectations of awakening is a tricky one; im not sure what to expect in all honesty. To see no self would leave life like an open cage for an animal... Free to explore, free to enjoy whats there without any worries, regrets, what if's and limiting beleifs etc.
To see no self would leave more time and energy rather than wasting it thinking that we/our self are thinking of solutions and solving all lifes problems and making a good or bad choice about something. If theres no self there to do all that, things will just happen anyway. I expect life will still all happen as it is, just without the smog.

:-)