Before? At? Thru? Could use a little help...THANKS! : )

[Chris7]

Hi Keleki

Sorry,I forgot to ask a question, would appreciate you answering it:

5) What was the last bit that "pushed you over" and made you see through the illusion of self?

[Chris7]

Sorry, Keleki, forgot to include this question. Would you mind answering it please?

5) What was the last bit that "pushed you over" and made you see through the illusion of self?

And for clarification to your answer to question number one where you say: "There is NO me at all..this is completely clear intellectually for sure and in glimpses of it in reality....it is an understanding combined with a sense of knowingness."

Would you say apart from a mainly intellectual understanding for you there is still an 'I' that exists as a separate self somewhere?

[Keleki]

5) What was the last bit that "pushed you over" and made you see through the illusion of self?

And for clarification to your answer to question number one where you say: "There is NO me at all..this is completely clear intellectually for sure and in glimpses of it in reality....it is an understanding combined with a sense of knowingness."

Would you say apart from a mainly intellectual understanding for you there is still an 'I' that exists as a separate self somewhere?

There is no separate I. It is a construct, a myth, a story, a character in a grand play called Life.

What pushed me over? Lots of little things, like noticing lack of reaction to what normally would have previously been very stressful situations, not only lack of reaction, but also the ability to "be" within the event and witness what was happening...the other person talking (sometimes loud and forcefully)...hearing their words without attaching a corresponding story that had anything to do to me (even though the other party may have truly believed they were addressing "me".) Also just noticing what happened in the body...what would have previously been labeled anxiety, now is just sensations (chest tightening, sweating, heart racing, quivering voice, flushed, etc.) all perfectly fine and natural...it doesn't mean anything...it is just something that happens sometimes.

The biggie though was when I took the time to really look at myself in a mirror and realized it was all a lie...YOU CANNOT SEE YOURSELF...maybe Jed McKenna's vampire analogy is more accurate than not. Sure, there is a body...something is observing fingers typing, but what is behind that? Not a ME that's for sure. Truly, the lights are on, but NO ONE IS HOME! LOL (I love that saying and who knew how true it really was?)

I keep coming back to that video you had me watch and feeling just how glorious this all can be with the realization that the show is being run (by what? by who? who cares?) it's running and that's enough. Not only is it running...it's ahead of where we are perceiving and we may never catch it, so why try? And, that ends the end of seeking.

Whew. Wow. And, this IS so fun!

It's not what I expected (you know the bliss and perfection and all that...lol), but it makes way better sense! : )

Keleki

[Chris7]

Hi, Keleki

I have a couple of more questions in order to get a little more clarity.

Please answer them as though you were explaining it to an average, 12 year-old child who has never heard of this before - that is, simply. Please only use direct experience and not use concepts or prior knowledge/learning/resources that would mean nothing to the child.

1) How does it FEEL when you look for a separate-self and cannot find one anywhere within you?

2) If you cannot find this separate-self, then is there an absence of this felt, as in a no-self?

3) You mentioned that there is now: an ability to be within an event and “witness” what was happening. Who or what is doing the witnessing?

Much love

Chris

[Keleki]

Hello there and here goes....


1) How does it FEEL when you look for a separate-self and cannot find one anywhere within you?

When looking for the separate-self, all that is found is this vast field of nothingness...very peaceful, very centering, very still.

2) If you cannot find this separate-self, then is there an absence of this felt, as in a no-self?

There cannot be an absence when there is no self. There is only the vastness.

3) You mentioned that there is now: an ability to be within an event and “witness” what was happening. Who or what is doing the witnessing?

The “witnesser” is an aspect of the personality who wanted to be special and right and good. However, this is not real. It is a thought, a pattern actually. There is nothing behind it. It is a false construct.

: )

Keleki

[Chris7]

Hi Keleki

Thank you very much. I will get back to you as soon as possible

Much Love

Chris

[Chris7]

Hi Keleki

You've been confirmed as having passed through the gateless gate! I'll send you a PM with the next steps.

Much love

Chris