O.K. I'm ready...
1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever? how about self, is there anything that is separate from everything else?
No. It (the "I") was imaginary. There is nothing there and never was. The self is the story told about "I" which is a fiction. It is not real, only a story. Nothing is separate from anything else. It all just appears now and there is not and was not and never will be a separate self. This body labeled Martina appears here and appears to be growing, changing and unfolding just as a flower blooms. Is the flower "blooming" itself? No. There's just life unfolding. Nothing personal.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.
When a child is young, someone gives them a name and tells them that they are separate. The child learns this and then believes that this is true without knowing how to question it. It is all a thought, but is reinforced by "others" who believe that they are also separate. And the story spins and spins, and is all about "me".
3) How does it feel to see this? describe in detail.
Well, here it is experienced as a relief that the seeking is over. A big "space" that was always used for reading about non duality or looking on the internet is now open in life to just live this life doing other things. I don't really know what else to add. Everything else is pretty much the same. I (the character Martina) still lives as she does, and the story can still arise, but there is not much attachment to that. It's like a detachment from that story. It's seen as just a fictional story arising. There are no fireworks happening here, but there are none that are needed. There is just an openness to whatever arises. No expectations at all.
4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.
I don't really know, but a guess is that I would tell them to go on this website where people are there who know how to help "others" see through the illusion. An important part is to really LOOK and see this clearly, with no doubts remaining. Doubts can keep thought spinning on and on (as was discovered here!) I would ask them to look in direct experience and see if they can ACTUALLY find "I". And then, when no "I" is found, to tell them that this is DIRECT EVIDENCE that it doesn't exist, and it never did.
5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? was there a specific moment when seeing happened or was it gradual? what exactly happened?
There was an intense period of looking again and again, and not finding an "I". The repetition of looking over and over again made the mind seem to be spinning out of control, and very confused. Finally, there was just the conclusion that an "I" would NEVER be found (maybe the mind just finally gave up its need to keep looking). This was the answer to end all of the seeking.
Thanks again from the bottom of my heart Metta. It's such a relief to not be seeking. Let me know if these answers are OK., or if there is anything else you need to ask.
You are wonderful for doing this work! Love, Martina