The Gate

Wow, some good questions. Not sure if I know the answers. anyway, I will try. Thoughts are not necessarily reality as much of thought comes from conditioning. I recognize that much of what I think is negative and comes from bad programming early on. I am trying to change this ,one with the recognition of that fact and two with examining my thoughts and who they are really from. Sometimes, it is quite clear to me that it is my parents thoughts, it is almost like hearing them again. A lot of what I think is just noise I discovered during meditation, they just jump from one thing to the next and I am trying and partially successful in no thought, or just letting them go by sort of and looking at them. Hmmmm, who is looking at them? They are energy I think and definitely effect my emotions. Oh, my thoughts can't be me, can they ,if I am looking at them, ha,ha. Geeez, then what are they?
As for a better person, that's is a tough one. I had always been told all my life, first by parents then by other family how worthless, not enough, damaged, different, a scapegoat basically. Some of the things I have disputed successfully, I was always told I was stupid over and over. I went to university and had a 3.8 average and did very well. So, I realize that what I had been told was wrong. I cried when I realize how I was lied to and that it wasn't true. Again, there is a the separation of what I know, I am a good person and what I sometimes automatically feel or think . The conditioning is awfully hard to break away from. It is like auto-pilot. Maybe, what I mean by better person is freed from all the negative associations and judgements placed on me by them. I believed them for so long. I am surprised by how emotional this is. Thank You, Regards, Del

Oh, my thoughts can't be me, can they ,if I am looking at them, ha,ha. Geeez, then what are they?

Bravo!! No, thoughts can not be you! Now look at thoughts. Are they your thoughts? Can you stop them, change them, command them to be a certain way? What makes thoughts appear, how come they disappear. What is it with toughts, when they are not you? Look, observe, notice. Don't make up explanations, we are only interested in what you see, when you look :)

Maybe, what I mean by better person is freed from all the negative associations and judgements placed on me by them. I believed them for so long.

Good work!

Isn't it thoughts all of it? What do you feel than means?

Greetings Vivi

Hi Vivi, I had to give this one some thought. lol. Ignore me,lol, I am in a funny mood this am. I think sometimes there is no me because who I am is a process rather then a static being. When I look back it's kind of like watching a video of someone and though I know it's me of course, it's not. That person is gone. It seems as if the only reality is the me now. Since I can't be in the future and the past is gone. But then it is like there is no me. If I am not my thoughts and that makes sense, because I may think something and it wouldn't necessarily be reality. Then who Am I ? Who is the observer, observing me? It is all thoughts that are effecting me and old outmoded ones at that. But in order for them to effect me, I have to take them on and believe them. I could change them, change the focus, though many seem automatic. Triggers maybe of some kind make them appear. If my thoughts are not me, whats left?

Yes Delphine, that is the question!

If my thoughts are not me, whats left?

Now look thoroughly at thoughts during the day. Are they yours or not? If yes explain how in details, if no what are they?

Greetings Vivi

When I look back it's kind of like watching a video of someone and though I know it's me of course, it's not. That person is gone. It seems as if the only reality is the me now.

No wonder, what you are looking at in the movie are some recorded memories (thoughts) - it is not you.
The only reality is (the me) now :) LOL is great !! :):)

Ha,ha, I want to clap and dance. There is no me! Since the only reality is the now. The past me is no longer there and the future has not arrived and may never arrive who knows. So the energy or light is the only thing grounded in reality right now. We are a reflection of the energy expressing itself in the moment. I hope I am explaining this correctly. So I don't have to feel bad about anything from the past or believe what was said on any level, I am free actually. Totally free to experience whatever I want, including love of self and others. There is no less then or greater then, there just is. Hee,hee, I love this. Muaaaah! Thank You, Vivi

AHHHH!!! Let me clap and dance with you. You do not exci-ist, you do not exci-ist :D

Explain again tomorrow (haha)what this means and how it feels.

Enjoy!
Vivi

and what about thought now?

My thoughts are not me. The real me is the Light. It feels very expansive and freeing. I feel connected in some way, hard to explain. :-) Any fear is gone. I think before long I might be ready for some new things in my life. I can't help but smiling when I get still. It is easier to do that now. Though it doesn't solve all my problems, it puts a different light on them. Light, :-) In a way I feel like a new person, because my thoughts can be looked at and knowing that they are not me, makes it easier to act with love towards myself and others. Of course that doesn't mean all my faults have just disappeared, :-(, darn. lol Thanks so much again, I felt as if I needed that last push and you did it. I am wondering why I was fearful in the first place. Namaste and Light, Del

Hi Delphine

What a joy to read your reply :) One thing I would like you to look into:

The real me is the Light

Is there a me afterall? If yes, in what way, if no what do you mean by 'real me'

Greetings Vivi

Thank You Vivi. :-) Yes and no. It felt like me but it was a global feeling, then it was a kind of field of light, blissful, and that was my body and all things, the universe. There did not appear to be an end to it, yet it was vital and full of potential, yet at peace, still, joyful. At one point it felt as if there were stars inside me. Sometimes it is hard to fully explain these things. But no there was no me in the sense of this individual body, this personal identity that I think of usually as me. I think Edgar Cayce said it well in one way, personal ,yet impersonal. All dualistic things come down to one thing, but in order to experience itself there are paradoxes. I think I will take a trip through the stars when my time comes to leave. All of us are the light or energy. That is really all there is. That is so freeing. When I walked in darkness my guess is it was the level of consciousness and the span of awareness. I think there is a whole range of experiences and levels of awareness. Hugs, Del

Please answer the questions belowe in as much detail as you can and in your own words.

(1) Is there a "me," at all, anywhere, in any way, shape, or form? Was there ever? 
(2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts, and how it works.
(3) How does it feel to see this?
(4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion?
(5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Vivi

1. No, I guess not, I know my body isn't me and my thoughts aren't me. What of spirit? Am, I sliding back?
2. It starts in a number of ways. One my near death experience of an OBE in the hospital. Seeing a tunnel , a light at the other end with people shapes coming towards me. Perhaps because it was told to me as a child that's what I saw, I don't know, it certainly felt real. but then so does this. Maybe we create what we want or need to see, I don't know. When a man called a Master, some years ago opened my chakras, I experienced a whole lot of things. Some of these things will probably sound strange , but they happened none the less. I was married at that time, my ex and I were sleeping, suddenly I awoke and saw my husbands spirit leave his body while he was sleeping and disappear. He was naked and yet he was still there deeply asleep next to me and wearing pj's. I don't hallucinate and am not schizophrenic. Am I getting off the subject? If there is no me, how can there be spirit? The closest I have come is that of experiencing or melding into global consciousness during prayer or meditation. Where there was no separate me, I was all life, not just people. 3. more space, whatever that means. :-) More expansive. Empty, but not bad empty. Relieved. It feels like relief. Sadness or pain gives the illusion of separate self. it refocuses your attention. 3. Confused, a little sad. 4. learned conditioning or intellect takes over and perhaps knowing or feeling are pushed aside. 5. Am I pushed over? I might need to do these questions again. :-(

Hi Delpjine

Everything is fine!
You feel what you feel.
You see what you see.
Isn't it wonderful that these questions made you experience What you did?

What of spirit. Is it personal. Does it has to be your (ex)husbands spirit or could it simply be spirit? Impersonal?
Everything strange can happen. Look at the Universe too strange :), look at fish and insects very strange -right?
So you had this experience - You don't exist - could it be that it happened - like in a dream - you seem to dream a certain story and suddenly it is going in a totally different direction. Notice body sensations.

We are not here to get a result at a certain time, take it easy. Sliding back does not exist either :) That implicates time, and time is an illusion - in the present moment there are no back and forth only here now. So nothing wrong :)

What happens now

Looking forward to your reply(what ever it will be)
Vivi

Sorry for the way I spelled your name..having trouble with the keyboard