The Gate

Ah! I was reading the Ruthless Truth blog to try to crack this, and I think that I see it. Ciaran says at one point (and this was the key for me), "Nothing can exist that is not contained within the present." Agreed! He also goes on to say, "There's no you. You are literally the imagination of yourself." I see that "self" is outside of the present, and therefore, non-existent. Awareness is totally within the present. That is the key difference between awareness and self.

So, if I understand this correctly, awareness is. Mind is a construct. Self is a construct.

Dan! That's pretty awesome. Why not stop there? :)

Is there a creator of the constructs? If so, isn't another name for it, "thought"?

Dan! That's pretty awesome. Why not stop there? :)

Is that all there is? If I stop there, am I missing another layer of the onion? Is that REALLY the root of it?

Is there a creator of the constructs? If so, isn't another name for it, "thought"?

Thought works. So if the present is all there is (which is easily seen), then how is there a stream of consciousness? Wouldn't that mean that we're constantly recreating our self at every moment?

What happens if you stop there? Really look at that. Pause and look.

Once that is done, I'll come back to answer your second question.

Thanks!

What happens if you stop there? Really look at that. Pause and look.

Once that is done, I'll come back to answer your second question.

Thanks!

Now that this is sinking in a bit, I'm not sure that it needs to be broken down more. That realization itself feels liberating. It's different, but it's not. (Does that make sense?)

If I think about it a little, I'm not sure that I can actually break it down any more. To do so would be to crack the present moment, and I'm not sure how I'd go about that. That sounds like more tail chasing!

You're right!

Trying to break it down would lead into more thought, wouldn't it? But that's just spinning. Forget all about thought and where is the "I"?

Awareness exists. But outside of thought, does it actually belong to a You? Does it belong to anything at all?

And yes, what you say about it feeling different yet not different makes perfect sense. The reason is because things have always been this way, so it's not that there's a new you who's liberated, it's just that the fact that there's no you is recognized. The body functions on its own.....Thoughts think themselves. They aren't controlled. Seeing sees. There's no you seeing. Hearing hears. There's no you hearing. There's no controller to stop or start any of it.

Is this true? Check for the controller.

Would you like to see how the self is created right now?

This entire post has been read. Was there a controller or "I" which directed the eyes to look, then to read each letter, each word... to scroll?

Or does that "I" come in only upon reflecting on a COMPLETELY automatic series of events the body and brain orchestrated?

Which is true?

Trying to break it down would lead into more thought, wouldn't it? But that's just spinning. Forget all about thought and where is the "I"?

There never was anything tangible that could be identified as an "I." It's not body or mind, for sure. The last remaining doubt I had was that "self" could be "awareness." It's obvious once you consider that things only exist in the present. Awareness qualifies. Self does not.

Awareness exists. But outside of thought, does it actually belong to a You? Does it belong to anything at all?

I don't see how it could belong to anything. (Belong seems like a strange concept when you consider the present moment...) It certainly can't belong to an invented construct called "self."

The body functions on its own.....Thoughts think themselves. They aren't controlled. Seeing sees. There's no you seeing. Hearing hears. There's no you hearing. There's no controller to stop or start any of it.

Is this true? Check for the controller.

Would you like to see how the self is created right now?

This entire post has been read. Was there a controller or "I" which directed the eyes to look, then to read each letter, each word... to scroll?

Or does that "I" come in only upon reflecting on a COMPLETELY automatic series of events the body and brain orchestrated?

Which is true?

Funny! The I comes into focus only on reflection. That's really amusing to see. No construct of self was necessary (or even noticed) to read any of it. Only on thinking back about HOW it happened was there any thought of a "self."

Fantastic!

Are there any questions? I think we can start looking to see whether there is anything lingering.... bring it all out onto the lawn and well get a look-see. Be sure to ask anything. We want to clear this up once and for all!

Great work, Dan!

Cam... feel free to jump in at any time. You were pointing out some things I haven't covered. Did you get to finish that line of thinking?

Valarie

Hey Dan...

Good Work on finding that R.T. thread! So we finally cleared up the awareness vs. self issue, so it all boils down to seeing behind the "Vail" of thought, and realizing pure awareness...That's all!

So let's confirm where you're at....Please take your time and answer the following questions; feel free to elaborate as much as you see fit in your answers...

1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

3) How does it feel to see this?

4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion.

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Hey Dan...

Good Work on finding that R.T. thread! So we finally cleared up the awareness vs. self issue, so it all boils down to seeing behind the "Vail" of thought, and realizing pure awareness...That's all!

I know that sometimes these things just take the right word, phrase, or inflection to get past the stuck-ness. The light-bulb moment was great!

1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, I don't see how there can be or ever could have been a self. It is not findable at all, and it is clear to me that it is a construct.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.

The illusion of a separate self is the belief that there is a separate, identifiable, and independent entity called the self. The illusion is that this is actually me. I'm not sure when it starts. I think that it starts when the construct of the mind develops the ego. Maybe the mind does this so that there is the illusion of continuity, so that it can keep thinking.

3) How does it feel to see this?

Another good question. On one hand, it feels great - I know that the present is all there is. Awareness is and always was. It seems to strip back a layer of something that caused me anxiety in the past. On the other hand, it's a little disappointing - I've wasted a lot of time worrying about this self. It's something that I've carried my whole life. Now that I'm typing this and thinking about it, I don't really care that it's gone. :-) It removes a layer of complexity that is unnecessary.

4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion.

I'd hardly be qualified to do that, but I'd take them down the path that I took. I would start by showing them that the present moment is everything. Past and future are constructs. That's pretty easy to grasp. I would then ask them to look for the self in the usual places, mind, body, heart, brain, etc. It takes some time at the sticky bits, but I think that most people couldn't point to a single bit that is the self. From there, I'd break the mind away and look at that as a problem solving and labeling machine. I'd then get to what remains - awareness. I'd point out that awareness isn't self because awareness is present and self is outside of present. (This is where I got stuck chasing my tail.) From there, you just have awareness and everything else is a construct. Since there is no self, there is nothing "doing" anything. It's just happening.

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

I'll give you the Reader's Digest version. ;-)

I wanted to find a therapist during my divorce. I called about 10 of them, and - to the last one - they all seemed like they needed more help than I did. I had a passing interest in Eastern philosophy, and I knew that Buddhists were masters at mastering their minds. (That is the phrase I used before I actually knew anything about meditation from an actual experience.) There is a Kadampa meditation center in Sarasota where I started learning Dharma. One of the people there led me to someone outside of that lineage who teaches meditation. I've been fortunate to have her as a guide. She taught me how to meditate and brought me through much of this path. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to un-stick me at my awareness/self point. I wasn't pushing too hard on that, until my mind started thrashing me with all of the "what-if's" when I started dating again. (I was married for 14 years, so it was a bit of a shock!) There were two girls that really seemed like great matches, and that caused the expected mind/time issues. Things like, "I blew that date, and I won't likely find another one who seems as compatible." or "We hit it off so well over the past week. Why haven't I heard from her?" These would cause the typical loops and end up with my mind chewing on the "problem" and ultimately causing suffering. I was soooo tired of these loops, I knew that I had to go back to self and start there if I wanted to try to break free from these loops. That caused me to search the web for anything I could find relative to self and awareness. Keyword searches in Google brought me here.

I don't know if this is going to ultimately break my loops. I think that I have a good conceptual understanding of it, but I need to make it my default level of being. (Any pointers on how to do that?) I hope that the awareness stops the loops before they start, but I won't know until the next time the mind tries to hook me.

Good morning Dan...

Something has caught our eye, in the last part of your response...

"I think that I have a good conceptual understanding of it,.."

Who has a conceptual understanding of this?

And, What is the difference you notice now compared to before?

Again please elaborate on these in your answers...

Good morning Dan...

Something has caught our eye, in the last part of your response...

"I think that I have a good conceptual understanding of it,.."

Who has a conceptual understanding of this?

And, What is the difference you notice now compared to before?

Again please elaborate on these in your answers...

A fair question, for sure. I used "I" in the relative sense, much like you used "our" in your statement about catching your eye. There is no I. It's only a construct. Anything that "I" perceive as a self can't be "me," since "I'm" perceiving it. (Or more correctly, perceiving is happening...)

What's the difference now. Hmmmm. Another fair question. And one that is a bit harder to wrap words around. It seems like a layer of padding has been removed. Like the difference between riding in a hard-top car and riding in a convertible. The experience is still happening, but there isn't anything between the awareness and the experience. A layer is gone.

Hey again.... :)

"I don't know if this is going to ultimately break my loops. I think that I have a good conceptual understanding of it, but I need to make it my default level of being. (Any pointers on how to do that?) I hope that the awareness stops the loops before they start, but I won't know until the next time the mind tries to hook me."

In reading that, there are a lot of "I"s. They are here:

"my loops"
"I need to make it"
"Awareness stops the loops before they start"
"mind tries to hook me"

Can you look closely at those snippets?

1. Where is the referent for the "my" in "my loops". Please point to it.
2. Point to what would "make it my default level of being".
3. Can awareness stop anything or are you assuming there is an "I" behind awareness still?
4. Point to the me that the mind tries to hook. What is there for thoughts to hook?

Please look carefully at these points.

Thanks!
Valarie.

Hey again.... :)

"I don't know if this is going to ultimately break my loops. I think that I have a good conceptual understanding of it, but I need to make it my default level of being. (Any pointers on how to do that?) I hope that the awareness stops the loops before they start, but I won't know until the next time the mind tries to hook me."

In reading that, there are a lot of "I"s. They are here:

"my loops"
"I need to make it"
"Awareness stops the loops before they start"
"mind tries to hook me"

Can you look closely at those snippets?

1. Where is the referent for the "my" in "my loops". Please point to it.
2. Point to what would "make it my default level of being".
3. Can awareness stop anything or are you assuming there is an "I" behind awareness still?
4. Point to the me that the mind tries to hook. What is there for thoughts to hook?

Please look carefully at these points.

Thanks!
Valarie.

There were a lot of "I's." There is no referent. It IS the default level of being. Awareness just is. It's not going to stop anything. There's no way to point to a me and nothing for thoughts to hook.

The concern was - does the mind continue to loop about things? Is that its nature? Effectively, it doesn't really matter if there is nothing there to get hooked!

It only seems to loop. Each thought is singular. It's not possible to go back and forth or loop. When a new thought comes up which seems to recall a previous thought, or repeat a thought. It is a fresh, new, thought. Every time. See that. Each one comes and goes without hooking onto anything. So what's the problem? ;)

That's how it all just falls away. Every thought is gone as soon as it appears. Even if there is a pattern seemingly happening, it too will be gone. They never stick. Never stay.

Have you noticed?

So, tell me how this feels. How's the shift going? Got more questions? :)

It only seems to loop. Each thought is singular. It's not possible to go back and forth or loop. When a new thought comes up which seems to recall a previous thought, or repeat a thought. It is a fresh, new, thought. Every time. See that. Each one comes and goes without hooking onto anything. So what's the problem? ;)

That's how it all just falls away. Every thought is gone as soon as it appears. Even if there is a pattern seemingly happening, it too will be gone. They never stick. Never stay.

Have you noticed?

So, tell me how this feels. How's the shift going? Got more questions? :)

Thoughts arise and pass. It does make sense that each one is new.

Has who noticed? ;-)

It just feels like experience without any extra layers. There haven't been any hooking thoughts...