The Gate

Right, thank you Becca, let's continue. I try not to mix investigation with thinking.

Who will it happen to if there is only life?

Now I'm answering my own question? :)

The roar of the sea (sound) is eg. there even when I am not there (there isn’t a self). So it has nothing to do with the separate self.

I have been like this all day today. Relax, let life manifest, including the labeling thoughts. Whatever it may be. Be careful not to create an observer, which would be just another thought and affect the other thought, which would create a story.

I assume that everything is fine now, because that is closer to the truth than believing in a separate self.

WHO wants there to be a formula? WHAT arises experientially when there is none? WHY do you need to know? Look at that urge, the tension. The discomfort with not knowing… what do you find?

Security, control, protection, habit, the will to make it so. To learn, to master.

Who? What does this feeling cover, who does it protect? I don't know, it just comes up.

I just do what comes to mind in the moment. I don't connect it to anything else. It just happens mechanically. That's it.

Judgment arises. Resistance. Desire to change... Where is the separate self? Nowhere, so what? There is no change. Why should there be?

Hello,

Site was down yesterday. Perhaps you saw my reply before that. If not here are some queries:

Is there someone in charge of letting life manifest? Does it need a middleman to allow it to do so?

Is there an expectation that something should change?

Tell me more about the resistance.
What is it? Where is it? How is it known?

Is the separate self thought to be nowhere or directly experienced to have never been present at all?

Hello, I saved your last response, but I couldn't log in to the site.

Is there someone in charge of letting life manifest? Does it need a middleman to allow it to do so?

No. I have tested it many times. Yet during the day, as if I would forget about it and have self-awareness.

Is there an expectation that something should change?

Yes, the search is over, a change of perspective. I felt close to myself... But now the old pattern has returned.

Reading the things on this page, the "motivation" started again, it clicked again that everything happens by itself. But in vain I examine it again. It's not new anymore.

Why should it be, this has always been the truth? If the change happens again, I still forget during the day and everything remains the same. It's like I fell asleep a few times, but I can't do it every day. And no one can show me this click.

I kept telling myself "This moment is it", but it didn't help either. In vain I watch how thoughts, feelings, body sensations and movement come by themselves, something still pulls me back. What and who? I don't know. Is this also a thought? Who thinks this? Nobody. This thought also arises... Why does it bother me? Who does it bother? I don't know, maybe it's a habit. So is there another thought about a habit (a recurring thought)? Maybe. I see it, but I just go around and around, nothing changes. I have to examine myself to get it to click again, and I have to stay in it as often as possible. Otherwise it's just a play on words... 'I don't know' means I don't want to examine it and I believe it...

Tell me more about resistance. What is it? Where is it? How can it be recognized?

It's the same, I want something other than what I have and control. But no matter how much I try to look for it, I can't find it, it's just a thought, a habit. As if everything is a mass that we can judge, analyze, but nothing changes. These are only ABOUT it and not what we analyze. I don't even break down food into its components in my mind when I eat...


I understand the methodology. We examine everything honestly, with real experience. To know for sure that there is no self. That is what the questions are aimed at.

Do you think of the separate self as being nowhere, or do you directly experience that it was never present?

It's nowhere.

’What is it? Where is it? How can it be recognized?’

Existence itself? Continuous. I am. And this is mixed with the thought that I am doing this or that. If I shift the focus (I think I am not doing this either), then it becomes more neutral, but we have to be careful not to make it a watcher (a made-up self-consciousness).

Solution: There are 2 ways. Examination or staying in it. I have already examined it. During the day, while working, staying in it is the key. In the description from the site I read: removing “my-ificaton” labels (the thought arises afterwards, taking possession of the events).

I'm starting to feel nauseous from everything again, I don't want to exercise, it only strengthens me!!!!!!

The seeking is the illusion that anything other than this is possible.
Telling your Self this moment is it is still trying to get to something else, other than this.

There is no state to maintain, because that reincarnates the illusion of the one who could do that doing.

What does the thought “I lost it” refer to in direct experience right now?
What is pulling you ‘back’? Is there an actual force?

Next time resistance appears

1. Stop.

2. Feel the body.
Where is it exactly? Chest? stomach? throat?

3. Look under the word “resistance”
What is it without the label? Pressure? heat? movement? contraction?

4. Look directly
Does that sensation itself say “I need control” “I want something else” etc
Or do those come as separate thoughts?

Hi! Everything is clear, reality exists and a fantasy thought or feeling wants to make you believe that it changes, covers this. As soon as it slips away, I will examine it again, look at it. I ask for time, I don't want to write just because a day has passed. I will practice and apply. Thank you.

Of course, this is important to see so take whatever time it takes… :)