The Gate

So, which one is truer?

Both feel true. The second one feels softer. I can’t say if it’s ego or my senses that say the second way is tru*er*

what is found?

Density in general. All subtleties are lost. I gave an honest try, including “I love X” and “I hate X” and I could not sense any changes. I tried a variety of statements and not much resistance.
If anything, my body felt contraction while driving when needing to suddenly brake or when seeing that I was going to be late. Immediate softening followed.
I even am engaging in an active lie but it doesn’t feel contracted. I sense a lightness and “sparkle” bc the lie has to do with a surprise for Father’s Day.
Looking more deeply, there is a contraction when I engage the thought “I am settled with this life” versus the openness I feel when I think “here, now, here, now”

Do you see that?

Here is where I struggle. It’s not generally located in my solar plexus or heart. It feels more like my entire being.
Currently, there is a contraction but no “why’s” That can be sensed

Both feel true.

Softer is truer. "I" is a lie, so without it is truer.

Looking more deeply, there is a contraction when I engage the thought “I am settled with this life” versus the openness I feel when I think “here, now, here, now”

That's a good one.

It feels more like my entire being.
Currently, there is a contraction but no “why’s” That can be sensed

Just keep playing with it. Sometimes we are overlooking something obvious that we are thinking.

Regarding labels, try this:


Label-Reality Correlation

There is a belief that labels have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’. But there isn’t. Just like it is a generally accepted belief that labels like ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are inherent characteristics of ‘things’. But actually, they are not.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN' , what is the actual experience?

Is the color red ‘experienced’, or is the color green ‘experienced’ as the label suggests?

Does the label ‘GREEN’ have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’? Or does the label suggest something else other than what is here now (red colour)?

Is 'green' associated in any way with the experience of the colour red; or is green just a label that overlays the actual experience of red?

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’ , is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no affect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

Let me know what is SEEN.

Loving,

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN' , what is the actual experience?

I don’t see a problem with it. I get what the aim is but there’s no resistance. The color vs the words are “incongruent” and it’s okay. Life has shown itself to be so many different ways that I don’t have to resist the incongruent times.

Is the color red ‘experienced’, or is the color green ‘experienced’ as the label suggests?

Both. There’s no fight where one has to be “right/wrong.” I read through it and also noticed the discrepancy. No resistance to allowing all that to be experienced.

Does the label ‘GREEN’ have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’? Or does the label suggest something else other than what is here now (red colour)?

None of the words are “reality,” really. Just words. They attempt to communicate, or rather, point but none of it is any real now or ever. The color of the word is indeed red in my perception. That perceived part is real.

Is 'green' associated in any way with the experience of the colour red; or is green just a label that overlays the actual experience of red?

The word is green. The color of font is red. The experience is neutral. Thinking about it actually causes constriction. There doesn’t have to be any fight/resistance.

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’ , is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

The font color remains red. The words good/bad are subjective and irrelevant. Life just life’s.

Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no affect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

Red is another word. The color itself has no inherent qualities, be it a font, a budding flower, or fresh spilt blood.

Let me know what is SEEN.

Conceptually and felt sense is that life just is. Where this mind may get caught is that it literally has no mind’s eye (aphantic) so hearing a cue like ‘what is seen’ activates a sort of doubt/contraction. How things are experienced are… not even sure what words to describe. When there is doubt, mind questions if it’s dissociating across the whole being. When there is flow, there is no concern that life was meant to express in this manner of embodiment as it allows me to sit and hold space for others during their most vulnerable or darkest moments. These states fluctuate often.

I don't see a problem with it.

That was not part of the question. This is simply about what you see and what you don't see

I get what the aim is but there’s no resistance. The color vs the words are “incongruent” and it’s okay. Life has shown itself to be so many different ways that I don’t have to resist the incongruent times.

No, you don't, yet. This is not a philosophical question.

In direct experience only the red color is seen. Again it is not a philosophical question.

Conceptually and felt sense is that life just is.

Please avoid concepts completely. Just stick to the direct experience of your 5 senses.

Take another look at what was actually requested. Then try another one.

Friend/Stranger

Bring up a thought about a character labeled "friend."

Then bring up a thought about a character labeled "stranger."

Compare these thoughts.

Is there a difference in these thoughts?

Is there a true difference or is it just different content?

Now, bring up a thought about a character labeled "friend."

After that, look at a thought about the character labelled "me.”

Is there a difference?

Is there anything special about thoughts with the content "me-character?"

Let me know what is found.

Labeling the day, the Sensations, etc. has no effect. Can you see that?

Loving,

Is there a difference in these thoughts?

There was a subtle energetic shift at first. As I kept searching, there was no difference energetically between the two thoughts.

Is there a true difference or is it just different content?

Nothing directly experienced. Just contraction in the mind.

Is there a difference?

Same here, there was an immediate energetic shift when the thought directed to me. Something weighty. The longer I thought, the less perceptual any difference was.

Is there anything special about thoughts with the content "me-character?"

There’s a density there, maybe like a habit(?), but not anything special.

Let me know what is found.

The more I explored these questions the less sense I could make. Obviously nothing about friend/stranger/me could be directly experienced. I can’t even see myself directly.

Labeling the day, the Sensations, etc. has no effect. Can you see that?

This statement confuses me so the answer is no. I don’t see it. I can say that while thinking about these questions, I encountered the sounds and sight of rain and there was a clear difference in sensation. I didn’t even realize how heavy my body was grappling with the questions and immediately much brighter and lighter when seeing unexpected rain.

Okay, one by one.

was a subtle energetic shift

What is an "energetic shift? " Please describe in words about what body can feel. Hot, cold. tense, relaxed, heavy, light. Concrete things like that.

Just contraction in the mind.

The mind has no physicality to feel contraction. Where did you feel this contraction? In your head?

Direct or Actual Experience is

Seeing
Hearing
Feeling (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)
Tasting
Smelling
Thoughts Arising (but not their content)

There’s a density there,

Where? How do you know it's dense? Do you mean heaviness?

didn’t even realize how heavy my body was grappling with the questions and immediately much brighter and lighter when seeing unexpected rain.

All heaviness & contractions indicates lies.

Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.



Please look at all of this again & reply with body Sensations. Direct Experience.


Loving

Here is the big picture:

As a therapist you have spent your career helping people to change their internal stories in order to change their experiences or their understanding of their experiences. To do this you have used storytelling, models, euphemisms & symbols. Carl Jung's entire method was based on symbols & stories. These can be useful. But not here.

This method is based on direct pointing to actual reality. Reality is defined as what does not go away when you stop thinking about it.

This is the only way. Why? Because "self" is a story and goes away when we stop thinking about it.

You cannot See, Hear, Feel, Taste or Smell any such thing as a self.

SPOILER ALERT

"Self" is a contraction or lie feeling plus a made up thought story.

These pointers are designed to show you that.

We like to compare it to Santa Claus. Once you know it is a man in a red suit, you can't go back. You will always know that it's just a guy in a red suit even when he puts the suit back on.

If you're still with me, let's keep going.

Loving,

Absolutely. I’m not stopping here.
I’m literally not even awake yet but checked for your reply.
This is everything I’ve been asking for (challenge, truth, liberation). Thanks for the smacks—clearly necessary for this ego.

I will sit with the questions later but wanted to share this. While sitting in meditation, this practice of direct experience became much easier. More or less appeared as follows:
Various thoughts arising,
Attention toward word “truth,”
Awareness of breath, sometimes shallow, sometimes deeper, sometimes breath felt caused while other times it felt like breathing was being done.
Tingling in the crown and third eye region.
Pressure in the heart, definitely not expansiveness.
Solar plexus/belly was soft and made occasional gurgling noises, there was a weird knot, not quite pain, that was located closer to the left of belly, as quickly as it appeared it dissipated.
Sounds were both clear and, at times, muted.
Seeing was definitely muted as my eyelids were shut, but there was a moment I actually brushed my cheek with my hand and I “saw” my arm shape and hand outlined through my lids. I shut my eyes a bit more tightly but that outline of my arm was clearly there. I rested my arm and went back to sitting.
I noticed thoughts resting between your pointings, ie “simply seeing/hearing/feelung/etc” and my mantra “truth”
Other thoughts came and went but overall returned to “truth”
Definitely contracted and tight in the heart.
I’ll take these insights with me through any seeing today although the doubt has returned.

Thank you again Stacy for you/your pointing.

What is an "energetic shift? " Please describe in words about what body can feel. Hot, cold. tense, relaxed, heavy, light. Concrete things like that.

It felt like a tense, tingly feeling across my body.

Where did you feel this contraction? In your head?

In hindsight (clearly story time as I’m referencing past now), it was a heaviness that got heavier in the head. Only noticed; however, when comparing it to the lightness when the rain arrived.

Where? How do you know it's dense? Do you mean heaviness?

I clearly don’t know shit. Like your signature line. It’s all trash. And the questions keep asking me when me is an illusion. As I type this, there’s tension everywhere and moreso in the heart space. Like the thumping of the heart isn’t just from the beating. Thoughts keep arising and a gentle nudge to focus on the direct experience or the words “here/now,” no change in the heart. Still contracted, tense and tight.

Good! Thank you for being open to these new awarenesses.

Okay. from the original pointers, your take aways are;:

1. Truth feels open, expansive
2. Lies feel tight, contracted
3. Labels cannot affect experience. They can only describe.

Let me add that all language, all thoughts will feel like lies because they are not the things themselves. They're made up.

Did you see The Matrix?

https://youtu.be/uAXtO5dMqEI

All of which leads us to this pointer:


Actual/Direct Experience - Apple

Have a look at an apple (or any fruit you like.) If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise. Google for a picture of an apple.



When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."

What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought.

Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation and the fact of thought arising, but not its content.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual experience.

This is what is meant by "looking in actual experience." What you know for sure, and, is always here.

Taste labeled ‘apple’ is known
Color labeled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labeled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labeled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known

However, is an apple actually known?

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

Loving,



Loving,

Did you see The Matrix?

Yes. It’s been watched and thoughts arrived. Letting them go.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

The content indicates a tendency to keep referencing a label for this object along with historical references (thoughts) of past experiences.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

No “apple” is just an agreement over time to call this object by that label. Doesn’t change direct experience. While holding the object, tightness in chest when thinking “apple,” ever slight release when thinking “this.” Fleeting and return to thoughts/labels.

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

Object can be directly experienced. It has substance, a texture, a scent, a taste when ingested from past direct experience. “Apple” cannot be directly experienced as it is just a label.

However, is an apple actually known?

An apple is simply an object. Birds are an object and do their thing but don’t need the label imposed on them to be part of direct experience. An apple remains an apple no matter what labels/thoughts we put on it.

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

So much tension and battling within thoughts. So, took this pointer to have fun. Walked outside and noticed thought “the sun” then settled into “aha another label” without the label, still illumination I can see, reaches indoors and everywhere right here and now that is sensed at this moment, eyelids open or closed, it feels like light and warmth. There is concentrated warmth in some areas. But the label “sun” doesn’t do it any justice nor changes a thing. Justice=thought

Great.

This is the next thing to try:

Palm Flipping Exercise

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.

2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience.

Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

How is the movement controlled?

Does a thought control it?

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

How is the decision made to turn the hand over?

Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Who or what ​ chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?


These can all be repeated as much as you like. Stay relaxed.

Loving,

How is the movement controlled?

Not by thought. Nothing “controls” it. Thoughts can be overlayed on it but that’s not controlling it.

Does a thought control it?

Definitely not. Can be done absence of thought.

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

Not an object. Feels more like “nothing” and “everything.”

How is the decision made to turn the hand over?

There’s no “decision.” Maybe an impulse of some kind but nothing controlling or deciding the impulse.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Nothing and everything?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Not an individual. Yet, it does.

Here I go deviating again but while taking a break from the palm exercise, watched the object called “my dog” and settled in that observation. Simply seeing, hearing, feeling, reacting, some behaviors patterned but likely no “thoughts.” Dog would see me at times simply seeing, hearing, feeling, etc while watching it. Nothing controlling it and yet everything animating all of it. Can see thoughts arise “dog is sniffing something” or “simply experiencing through scent.”
Then moved about my day packing for camp. Observing movement or just moving without thought. Noticing when thoughts came up but softened away from it as there wasn’t a need; or, allowed it to surface, adjusted my actions then let it drop away. Thoughts about patterned behaviors peaked and dissipated.
Stay relaxed was a helpful pointer as the work week and the earlier pointers had me tangled in my thoughts. Relaxing into the moment is now.

Good. All true.

Again, how does it FEEL?

Loving