The Gate

Hi Stacy

Moving has taken much time and then I came to be with my elderly mother for a few days. It was her 94th birthday!

I've been trying direct experience whenever I remember and often as I can. I will have more time coming later this week to make a more concerted effort to write.

What I have noticed in the times I am looking into direct experience - thoughts are so seductive and seeing them them as just 'thought's is hard. I have a particular narrative going on at the moment and it's wild to see just how much the story goes on without "me' wanting it to. And when emotions arise and I see them just as sensation they sort of stop.

It's like seeing the craziness of it all from a new perspective. I've been feeling and seeing a lot of deeper things about what is running my life.

Love
Kyle

Good morning Happy birthday to your mother!

It feels like we'll be unpacking for weeks!

Do the pointer whenever you're ready. Yes. It's a bit mind blowing. Notice how it *feels*

Loving,

Hi Stacy

Yes I understand. I'm still settling in to my new place and have mess around me.

My mother had a wonderful birthday : )

What did you mean by notice how it 'feels'? I'm still sporadically doing the direct experience activity. Is it best if you choose regular everyday activities or anything.

I notice I apply it, but don't get into writing it down.

love
Kyle

Feels... body Sensation, such as contraction, tension, expansion, relaxation, temperature, things a body can feel, not interpretations.

Got it?

Loving,

Yep got it.

What I do notice is it's hard to maintain the direct experience as life feels so busy and the mind and attention moves so quickly. I note in the mind but need to write it down. It feels like being in a current and all of a sudden there is movement away from the direct experience and hours have passed by.

I'm looking to find a hook, a question
"What is directly experienced, that which is not interpreted or perceived?'

Anyways just touching base and wanting to make a more daily effort of writing now that things have settled a bit.

Hope you are settling in okay. I'm enjoying my new home. Great to have my own space as I was sharing with people before.

Love
Kyle

Good morning,

Glad you got moved. Our settling in is going to take a while. Right now, my husband is building kitchen cabinets to replace the ones that were torn out due to mold. Lucky he is skilled in those things!

What I do notice is it's hard to maintain the direct experience as life feels so busy and the mind and attention moves so quickly

.

You are not expected to maintain awareness of direct experience at all times. That's too much. It's just stressful. And you must be very relaxed in order to see what is already there- no self.

I'm not seeing where you completed this pointer. Please do, using the Quote feature for one question at a time with the answer underneath. There are several more after this.


Direct Experience - Labeling Daily Activities

Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:

Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all Actual/Direct Experience) and report back with lists exactly like the one above.

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please.

Refer to the green list of Actual/Direct Experience in the prior post if that helps. Those are the only items any experience can be.

Loving,

Love a handy man!

Here's a few from today : )

Seeing birds eating in the tree, simply= image/color
Feeling the body standing, simply = sensation
Hearing dryer going and the bird chirping, simply = sound
Thoughts about the type of bird, and this exercise simply = thought

Seeing the trees around the garden, simply= image/color
Smelling the cup of tea, simply = smell
Feeling the body in the chair and clothing, simply = sensation
Tasting the tea, simply = taste
Hearing birds and the faint traffic noise, simply = sound
Thoughts about how good the tea is, simply = thought

Will do more over next few days.

love
Kyle

Good. Here's the next step:

Mind Labeling Experience

Here is an exercise which examines the way in which the mind labels experience - it takes about 20 minutes and you will need a pen a paper.

This exercise is broken into 10 minute lots. For each 10 minute period pay attention to any bodily sensation i.e. is there any tightening, or any relaxing?

For the first ten minutes write down what you are experiencing right now using the word “I”.

For example:

I am sitting on a chair,
I am hearing a clock ticking,
I am looking at a computer screen,
I am feeling hungry.

Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just a plain description of your experience right here and now.

Then for the next ten minutes continue writing down what you are experiencing but this time without using the word “I”. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs.

For example:

Sitting on a chair,
typing,
breathing,
blinking,
hearing the clock.

(Again, watch what is happening in the body.)

At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labelled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

2. What is here without labels?

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

Loving

Hi Stacy

So here's my responses to the activity

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?
The second experience feels purer. It was hard for me to determine why it was truer, but the word 'purer' came to mind. Feels like direct experience as opposed to adding 'i' and the identification with things like 'my'. Using the verbs felt natural

2. What is here without labels?
The same is here without labels

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?
Labels make the experience belong to something or someone. Attributes a happening to, and ownership of the experience.

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?
No

love
Kyle

Hi Kyle,

Now if you could just put your answers *outside* the box. Like this:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

The second experience feels purer. It was hard for me to determine why it was truer, but the word 'purer' came to mind. Feels like direct experience as opposed to adding 'i' and the identification with things like 'my'. Using the verbs felt natural

See?

#2. No. only Direct Experience is here without labels. Can you see that?

3. No. Labels don't affect the experience. I'll give you a pointer for that.

4. On 4 look for reason versus relaxation in the body.


So. first let's do this one:

Here is how to distinguish truth from lies.


We often lie every day & don't realize it.

For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes. there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, at that moment, you were grieving the death of your dog, you had a slight sore throat & you had a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you lied, "I'm fine."

Also, it matters none at all how "distant" the remembered lie is. Besides the fact that time itself is fictional, a kind if lie, as we recall the lie it becomes present in this moment, as if it were happening now. This brings the body Sensation that accompanies lying.

Lies can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie.

This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is helpful to notice the body Sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.

You want to be in touch with body Sensations & able to clearly express them in words. This will help.

Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.

First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.

It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.

Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.

What is found?

If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what Sensations arise as you listen.

I will give you a clue: it is not that peaceful Sensation you felt before when you omitted "I." (refers to an exercise I gave before this one)

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

"Peaceful" is an interpretation of a body Sensation, not the Sensation itself, for example.

Do you see that?

Loving,

Hi Stacy

I've tried a few times to call up a memory or say a straight out lie and wasn't able to clearly connect with any specific sensations.

But as I sat to write this email on reflection of the activity I vaguely remember an experience with my ex partner - when he questioned how I felt about him 'I don't even know if you like me' and to be honest at that time I didn't really like him and felt very confronted with this statement. I remember my response which was a lie made me feel anxious immediately - very tight at the chest.

I will be more aware it now. So am noticing body sensations in their purest state more since the previous exercise. Especially smiling :)

Love
Kyle

Excellent!

When you finally see the truth of no self you may feel a very expansive feeling.

Okay here's another pointer.


Actual/Direct Experience - Apple

Have a look at an apple (or any fruit you like.) If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise. Google for a picture of an apple.



When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."

What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought.

Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation and the fact of thought arising, but not its content.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual experience.

This is what is meant by "looking in actual experience." What you know for sure, and, is always here.

Taste labeled ‘apple’ is known
Color labeled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labeled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labeled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known

However, is an apple actually known?

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

Loving

Hi Stacy

I've tried a few times to call up a memory or say a straight out lie and wasn't able to clearly connect with any specific sensations.

But as I sat to write this email on reflection of the activity I vaguely remember an experience with my ex partner - when he questioned how I felt about him 'I don't even know if you like me' and to be honest at that time I didn't really like him and felt very confronted with this statement. I remember my response which was a lie made me feel anxious immediately - very tight at the chest.

I will be more aware it now. So am noticing body sensations in their purest state more since the previous exercise. Especially smiling :)

Love
Kyle

That's great Kyle. When you finally see the truth of no self there may be a very expansive and high kind of feeling. We're watching for this shift in perception.

Sometimes people just laugh out loud. So the smile is also relevant. In fact there's a recording of me doing that but I will probably share with you because it has 13 pointers that are very good.

But first I have 2 or 3 others I'd like to share.

Label-Reality Correlation

There is a belief that labels have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’. But there isn’t. Just like it is a generally accepted belief that labels like ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are inherent characteristics of ‘things’. But actually, they are not.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN' , what is the actual experience?

Is the color red ‘experienced’, or is the color green ‘experienced’ as the label suggests?

Does the label ‘GREEN’ have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’? Or does the label suggest something else other than what is here now (red colour)?

Is 'green' associated in any way with the experience of the colour red; or is green just a label that overlays the actual experience of red?

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’ , is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no affect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

Let me know what is SEEN.

Loving

Hi Stacy

Here's my response.
The eyes see letters making up a word
I actually didn’t experience the colour red, I just saw letters. I did not experience green either.
No it does not because I see letters and words not green the colour. The label suggests an experience of the colour green.
The letters provide an experience of the colour red.
No you would still have an experience of red, just with different letters.
The labels good or bad have no impact on the experience of red.

Love
Kyle