The Gate

Thank you.

No. Thank you!

https://youtu.be/a_8N331jpA4?si=wHE8KmhO7n9uwLPp

This video you have sent me, is a very interesting one. “Doubt is selfing around an underlying belief”. I just realized that, my whole life is full of doubts, that’s why I feel frozen sometimes and I can’t even do a simple thing because of doubts or jump from one thing to another.
You are spot on from the beginning, my core problem is believing my thoughts.
I really need to work on my thoughts and assumptions.
“Whenever there is a doubt, there is an underlying belief or assumption about reality that’s not true, and doubt is just selfing around that”.

Sincerely,

Good!

This is how to LOOK for no self in the exercises - we call them "pointers' - that we will be doing here:

Colored Socks

There is a big difference between knowing that there is nothing to give up and seeing that there is nothing to give up.

Here is an example to illustrate the difference:

If I ask you what color socks you are wearing right now you have two ways to come up with an answer:

• You can think about it, you can think back to this morning and try to remember putting your socks on, and you can probably tell me what color you think they are.

• Alternatively, you can take a quick look at your socks and tell me what color they actually are!

Hopefully you would agree that you can only be 100% certain by looking.

For the purpose of seeing this "no self" idea, it is very important that you are clear about this difference.

Knowing is about knowledge which is all in the mind and we are not interested in that

We are only interested in looking at and seeing what is actually going on in your present moment-to-moment experience. We are only interested in your Direct Experience in the moment..

Direct or Actual Experience is

Seeing
Hearing
Feeling (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)
Tasting
Smelling
Thoughts Arising (but not their content)

Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.



Loving,

Hi Stacy,

Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.

Yes I’m clear about the direct raw experience vs the thoughts about it or the labels overlay.

Sincerely,

Good. Practice that here:


Direct Experience - Labeling Daily Activities

Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:

Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all Actual/Direct Experience) and report back with lists exactly like the one above.

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please.

Refer to the green list of Actual/Direct Experience in the prior post if that helps. Those are the only items any experience can be.

Loving,

Ok I will work on that today and send my report tomorrow.

Sincerely,

Hi Stacy,

Direct Experience - Labeling Daily Activities

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please.

Sample of labeling my daily experiences:

• Sitting In The Living Room, waiting to go out:

Seeing the furnitures: simply = colors, shapes and lights.
Hearing the AC: simply = sound
Hearing music in the other room: simply = sound
Feeling apprehensive and maybe late: simply = sensation
The though is saying the sensation is in my face, around my head and throat: simply= thought
Feeling annoyed: simply= sensation
We will be late: simply= thought.
After taste from early tea: simply= taste
The AC is cold: simply= sensation
Pain in my neck: simply= sensation
The thought is saying what is the cause of this pain in my neck: simply= thought
The door bell ring: simply= sound
Plumber outside: simply= images
We are having conversations: simply= sounds
The mind is giving meaning to the conversation: simply= thought
Thought is saying “Is “Stacy’s exercise” effective”: simply = thought
Images of where to go: simply = thought
Itchiness on my face: simply= sensation
Want to scratch my nose: simply= thought
Urges to scratch: simply= sensation
The scratch is relieved: simply= sensation
While writing this, blurred vision: simply= seeing
The thought is saying I need glasses: simply= thought
Sound of something that fell on the ground: simply= sound
Images in my mind what could that be: simply = thought
I get annoyed: simply= sensation.

• Outside driving:

Traffic: simply = images, thoughts and sounds
Irritated: simply= sensation
I should have stayed home: simply = thought
The car in front of me is not allowing me to pass: simply = thoughts
Getting angry from the driver: simply = sensation and thoughts.
Cursing him: simply= sounds
My car isn’t like before: simply= sound and thoughts.
It’s warm today: simply= sensation & thought

I breakdown my experiences today in such way, in the beginning it was like a burden (as if I’m back in school and having a homework), but it turned out to be really fun. I like it
I have a question though: Is it a spiritual bypass if I just label emotions as a sensation, it’s like dismissing my emotions (just curious)

Sincerely,

All good except "shapes & lights." Those are not in the list of Direct Experience

Is it a spiritual bypass if I just label emotions as a sensation, it’s like dismissing my emotions (just curious)

Yes, it would be a bypass. Write a Byron Katie Worksheet & answer the questions & do turn arounds.

Next is this:


Mind Labeling Experience

Here is an exercise which examines the way in which the mind labels experience - it takes about 20 minutes and you will need a pen a paper.

This exercise is broken into 10 minute lots. For each 10 minute period pay attention to any bodily sensation i.e. is there any tightening, or any relaxing?

For the first ten minutes write down what you are experiencing right now using the word “I”.

For example:

I am sitting on a chair,
I am hearing a clock ticking,
I am looking at a computer screen,
I am feeling hungry.

Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just a plain description of your experience right here and now.

Then for the next ten minutes continue writing down what you are experiencing but this time without using the word “I”. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs.

For example:

Sitting on a chair,
typing,
breathing,
blinking,
hearing the clock.

(Again, watch what is happening in the body.)

At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labelled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

2. What is here without labels?

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?


Loving,

Hi Stacy,

Mind Labeling Experience

Here is an exercise which examines the way in which the mind labels experience - it takes about 20 minutes and you will need a pen a paper.

This exercise is broken into 10 minute lots. For each 10 minute period pay attention to any bodily sensation i.e. is there any tightening, or any relaxing?

For the first ten minutes write down what you are experiencing right now using the word “I”.

Then for the next ten minutes continue writing down what you are experiencing but this time without using the word “I”. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs.

I’m sitting on the sofa
I’m yawning
I’m thinking to make a tea
I’m hearing the AC
I’m blinking
I’m worried
My body is sore
I’m tired
I’m making my tea
I’m reading emails and messages
I’m replying to messages
I’m writing the homework Stacy gave me
I’m drinking my tea
I’m feeling pain in my tongue
I’m looking at the black TV screen
I’m thinking, “i wish i have a window here”
I’m thinking what to do today
I’m feeling worried
I’m thinking “what to eat for lunch today”
I’m seeing images of different foods
I’m breathing and sighing
I’m feeling worried again



Brushing the teeth
Drinking the tea
Hearing sounds outside the apartment
Thinking what to write
Eating breakfast
Watching the news
Walking in the living room
Wearing the blanket
Washing the hands
Thinking i should exercise
Feeling self pity
Seeing mind’s images of what happened yesterday
Seeing images of the place to go today
Feeling sensation in the body
There are worries
There is waiting
Looking at the watch
Thinking “time passes quickly”
Hearing movement in the other room
Seeing colors
There is a bitter sensation in the mouth
Lying down on the sofa
Thinking “Is this list enough”
Reading the instructions again
There is tiredness
Breathing
Moving the limbs
Rubbing the eyes

NB: I’m suppose to use a paper and pen, but I’m not home now so I wrote them on the electronic gadget.

At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labelled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

I’m sitting on the sofa vs Sitting on the sofa
It seems both are true.

2. What is here without labels?

Experience is here without labels: Perceptions (seeing,hearing,tasting, smelling, sensation, thoughts)

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

Labels describe the experience. They don’t affect the experience at all.

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

Yeah. There is a little relaxation without using the word “I”.

Sincerely,

There is a little relaxation without using the word “I”.

That is because it's truer without the lie that "I" exists. It does not.

Here is how to distinguish truth from lies.

We often lie every day & don't realize it.

For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes. there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, at that moment, you were grieving the death of your dog, you had a slight sore throat & you had a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you lied, "I'm fine."

Also, it matters none at all how "distant" the remembered lie is. Besides the fact that time itself is fictional, a kind if lie, as we recall the lie it becomes present in this moment, as if it were happening now. This brings the body Sensation that accompanies lying.

Lies can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie.

This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is helpful to notice the body Sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.

You want to be in touch with body Sensations & able to clearly express them in words. This will help.

Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.

First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.

It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.

Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.

What is found?

If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what Sensations arise as you listen.

I will give you a clue: it is not that peaceful Sensation you felt before when you omitted "I."

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

"Peaceful" is an interpretation of a body Sensation, not the Sensation itself, for example.

Do you see that?

Loving,

Hi Stacy,

First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Yes I remember one incident years ago. I lied to my wife about knowing one person.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.

What is found?

Heat sensation in my face, constriction sensation in my throat and like contractions in my lower chest and stomach.

If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what Sensations arise as you listen.

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

I experimented with some lies I made up. You are right, they give some sort of contraction in my stomach and the area around it.

”Peaceful" is an interpretation of a body Sensation, not the Sensation itself, for example.

Do you see that?

I can see that the interpretation of the sensation is not the sensation itself, and also describing body sensation is not the sensation either.

Sincerely,

Good. Justblike "self."

Now this :

Mind Labeling Experience

Here is an exercise which examines the way in which the mind labels experience - it takes about 20 minutes and you will need a pen a paper.

This exercise is broken into 10 minute lots. For each 10 minute period pay attention to any bodily sensation i.e. is there any tightening, or any relaxing?

For the first ten minutes write down what you are experiencing right now using the word “I”.

For example:

I am sitting on a chair,
I am hearing a clock ticking,
I am looking at a computer screen,
I am feeling hungry.

Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just a plain description of your experience right here and now.

Then for the next ten minutes continue writing down what you are experiencing but this time without using the word “I”. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs.

For example:

Sitting on a chair,
typing,
breathing,
blinking,
hearing the clock.

(Again, watch what is happening in the body.)

At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labelled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

2. What is here without labels?

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

Loving

Hi Stacy,

Mind Labeling Experience


I have done the mind labeling exercises.
Should I do it again? Or Just sent by mistake?

Sincerely,

Sorry. Maybe it got stuck on my clipboard.


Label-Reality Correlation

There is a belief that labels have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’. But there isn’t. Just like it is a generally accepted belief that labels like ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are inherent characteristics of ‘things’. But actually, they are not.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN' , what is the actual experience?

Is the color red ‘experienced’, or is the color green ‘experienced’ as the label suggests?

Does the label ‘GREEN’ have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’? Or does the label suggest something else other than what is here now (red colour)?

Is 'green' associated in any way with the experience of the colour red; or is green just a label that overlays the actual experience of red?

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’ , is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no affect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

Let me know what is SEEN.

Loving,

Hi Stacy,

Label-Reality Correlation

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN' , what is the actual experience?

Is the color red ‘experienced’, or is the color green ‘experienced’ as the label suggests?

The color red is experienced
The word “Green” is just a label

Does the label ‘GREEN’ have a one-to-one correspondence with ‘reality’? Or does the label suggest something else other than what is here now (red colour)?

The label has nothing to do with reality (red color)

Is 'green' associated in any way with the experience of the colour red; or is green just a label that overlays the actual experience of red?

Green is just a label overlays the actual experience of red.

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’ , is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

No the experience of “redness” isn’t affected by any label assigned to it (Green, Good or Bad)

Does redness become ‘good’ or ‘bad’, or do the labels have no affect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

Redness stays as “redness” and any label assigned to it doesn’t change the experience of “Redness”

Let me know what is SEEN.

It is like the “real experience” and labels don’t occupy the same reality. One is real and the other is added on top of it to give it something like a meaning, labels are like imaginary things (not corresponding to reality)
That’s an interesting exercise.

Sincerely,