good place

[daisyrain]

Without referring to thought, right now, where is the self?
Not the story of Nils or the feeling of being Nils…

Somehow I only now noticed, that without referring to any thought or feeling, I have much less to work with.
This feels exciting. It feels like these are the oddest questions I have ever heard.

[graceabounds]

that even means not recalling memories of inquiries, right?

Yes.

With respect to thoughts the question somewhat altered itself to "how do I know this is addressed to me?" and that feels like relief itself.

That still presumes there is someone there who they are addressed to…

without referring to any thought or feeling, I have much less to work with

For today, sit quietly and relax, take your time just looking at what is in front of you for a while.
Observe how the mind is dividing and labelling every thing into objects and is embellishing them with stories about what they are.
Give it some time..
Then, stop watching the objects as labelled objects. Just look at the seeing itself. Observe the pure process of seeing. This is direct experience.

Let me know how it goes.

[daisyrain]

The following was noted as it came up, so it is messy, but it made it easier to note the immediate sensation without engaging thought too much.

Observe how the mind is dividing and labelling every thing into objects and is embellishing them with stories about what they are.

It took a while to even notice the labels.

Just look at the seeing itself. Observe the pure process of seeing. This is direct experience.

No border between skin/touch and sight.

Seeing is already here, that came as a slight shock.

Seeing feels like the body (am I doing this right?)

Feels very light, the body relaxes.

Suddenly VERY immediate

Seeing is nowhere to be found & there it is.

Seeing doesn't need the figuring out mechanism.

Holy Shit, I'm believing my thoughts


Will take a brief brake for now and then continue.

Just, thank you, you know? I couldn't have obtained and deserved this, and yet you give. Thank you

[graceabounds]

Very good.
This next exercise I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought. That’s it. Strip all other labels.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:
Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought
Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all actual/direct experience) and report back how you go.

[daisyrain]

Will do! :)

[daisyrain]

During the workday it was challenging to do this.
It felt like I only did it half hearted yet, but the evening holds more space and time for me, so I'll see where this leads :)

[daisyrain]

Walking in the grocery store fear came up during the exercise

[daisyrain]

Feeling resolved to be touch.
Tiredness resolved to the sensation of the skin around my eyes. (can that be?)
Surges of Energy (what sensation is this?)

Body relaxes.

Sometimes thoughts interpret and use sensations as proof, whereas the sensation itself points to no such meaning.

Only one sensation seems to arise at the time

[graceabounds]

Great.

Surges of Energy (what sensation is this?)

How does this travel? From where to where?

Sometimes thoughts interpret and use sensations as proof, whereas the sensation itself points to no such meaning

What is the sensation of thought?
What sensation is I?

[daisyrain]

It just came, that I don't know who I am.
Not really.
And I don't really know, what I'm doing. Or rather who? Is doing. I'm seeing that fingers are moving across the screen, typing this. Yet it's somewhat effortless in that I don't really know what I'm doing.
What is it, umm. Thoughts come, I'm not in control of them. Yeah, I'm losing the thread here :)

[daisyrain]

What is the sensation of thought?
What sensation is I?

My body started to shake massively the moment I pondered this. Crazy.

That thought now wasn't right in front of me, I was just feeling my face.

Aaaaah, this is hard. I swear, you're breaking me here, Becca. But this is to intriguing and interesting to stop.

what is the sensation of I?

Just now tightness, pressure. That's actually touch, right?

I feel like these answers make no sense. I can't really compare them to anything I've read. But it's okay.

[graceabounds]

Great. Let it shake.
The body already knows I is a lie.

what is the sensation of I?
Just now tightness, pressure.

Where does the tightness and pressure appear? Isolate it. WHERE is I?

Let the answers make no sense. Just don’t think the answers. And definitely don’t regurgitate something read somewhere. Look. Directly.

[daisyrain]

WHERE is I?

I feel a tightness in my chest and my jaw. But something is missing to this picture. This sensation just doesn't "resolve" like others.

Will focus on the sensation of thought of sensation of I today!

Have a good day :)

[graceabounds]

I feel a tightness in my chest and my jaw. But something is missing to this picture. This sensation just doesn't "resolve" like others.

Look behind it. What is it protecting?

[daisyrain]

what is it protecting?

I think there is a vulnerability I'm afraid of not knowing how to deal with.