1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
The sense of a reference point for an 'I' does not appear... a prevailing sense even in childhood of a pretence of a 'self' seems purely a fiction... cannot find a where... so, no never WAS!
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
Struggle to describe what is not... there seemed to be a claiming of the present action as if an ownership were necessary.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
there is an untethering ( flowing tears here), a freeing of 'what not sure' but the energy here is oceanic, fiery, like a volcanic preparation for bursting everything... just pure, raw, indescribable energy... belly is a furnace of 'creation' although words seem limp. Energy has been building for days... the 'I' lie has blown wide open
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
not one specific moment but a virtually imperceptible tipping into freefall... something let 'go' without a 'me' doing anything
5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.
more tears here... there is no choice... just happenings
Describe intention & give examples from experience.
(laughter here) it all seems so silly, the idea of intention... of setting out to ACHIEVE a thing... more laughter
Describe free will & give examples from experience.
Whose business is free will? more laughter
Describe choice & give examples from experience.
no choice... the freedom of this!!!!!!!!!
Describe control & give examples from experience.
more tears seeing the invented 'self' trying so hard for so long to exert control and safety into everything... so poignant somehow to see this... tears
What makes things happen? How does it work?
no idea how things happen or 'what' makes things happen... they simply seem to happen free of volition of any kind
What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
ha! something offered up 'kindness' as a response but immediately this dissolved ... even this goes and has no hold
6) Anything to add?
love