The Gate

And "I have a pain in my face with Spirituality, I’m going home." what does that mean? Answer freshly and innocently, from the heart. Don't hurry to answer, stay with the question until a clearly heartfelt answer comes.

It means that I’m sick of seeking, yet I can’t stop. I just want to forget this shit and go back to being fully mind identified.

I have not been on here for a while. I don’t know why. I do the Vince classes.

Denis

It feels like I’m only now dealing with anger. It’s very slow to show up. No being expressed your decades, it’s now a feeling of being unwell all the time. So sick of this.

Sorry things are hard this way. It sounds like focusing on emotions/sensation and compassioate relating with your self and others is a good focus. Sounds like live meetings is a good choice for you. I think particularly Alans kind and heart centered attitude could be good for you. Feel free to share more about what happens in Vince's meetings or ask questions.

Some types of deep psychological trauma are relational in nature, they were at least partly created in relationships and are most often healed in relationships. That's part of the reason with what you describe a high quality therapy and/or Vince's meetings might be the best fit now.

I agree. I’m also doing g a Rupert Spira online retreat now. I’ll keep you pistted. Starting a new job in 10 days after being out for a year. Let’s see how that goes.

Good to hear. Good luck with the new job and may the retreat be beneficial.

Yes, I have a sense that a theme around love and the experience of the presence or absence of that, and the pain relating to that, and how it gets dealt with, is key.

Until next time 🌻

Thanks for your support last night Elad.

Denis

With love, good to see you and meet you. I sense a good movement. Look forward to hear from you when the time is right.

I was driving yesterday. I felt I was going to have a panic attack, but the thoughts were not in the foreground. I just felt a disorientating shift and coolness in the torso. Thoughts were not allowed to take over and scare me. Felt simple but significant.

Beautiful!

I did a meditation yesterday from Angelo, looking directly at the makeup/edges of a thought. They fell away and I was left with sensation in the face. Muscles twitching and a contraction. I feel like I’m in my face/head. It relates to the contractions and muscle spasms. Not sure how to proceed. It feels like if the contraction in the face dropped, the small self would also drop with it.

Denis

Great you are open to discover whats real and helpful in multiple ways. Maybe if/when you feel inspired to it sit with the sensations in the face and just be curious what is there.

Be curious what happens when you are with it nonverbally.

Also be curious to engage it in a loving and sincere dialogue: Dear sensations, what do you want to tell, what do you want to teach me, how can I be most loving and helpful and clear with you?

Then be open that learn from whatever happens/is.

Images
Sentences
Emotions
Energies
Resistence
Distraction
Shifts

Whatever comes let it be your teacher, and be a respectful student, who understands that it might take time to understand "to show the sincerity to be worthy" of recieving the teaching that is taught.

Feels like a good direction..

It feels like I’m sick of searching. Desiring something else. I want to just rest in being.

I’m 2days into work and have a pain/tightness in my upper back (behind my heart) it has contracted since I started. The feeling is: I’m not safe, I’m sad, I’m lost. It feels like somethings contracted, while something else is trying to rise in me. I’ve been very grumpy the last 2 days.

It feels like I’m sick of searching. Desiring something else. I want to just rest in being.

I’m 2days into work and have a pain/tightness in my upper back (behind my heart) it has contracted since I started. The feeling is: I’m not safe, I’m sad, I’m lost. It feels like somethings contracted, while something else is trying to rise in me. I’ve been very grumpy the last 2 days.

Sounds like starting the new job is intense and evoking a fair bit.

Is there anything that is not being accepted in the here and now?

If yes, what? Remember here and now is not a story, all though it includes the thoughts that contain stories.

Is it ever helpful not to accept what is?

Reminder that you hopefully don't need: these questions do not invite mental analysis and positioning, but looking and feeling in the moment. Many times.