Seeking, constantly seeking

[Anastacia42]

This is about the meetings:


There are 3 meetings.

Vince Shubert runs one on the weekends. Write to vinceschubert@gmail.com for the link & schedule.

Luchana & Lubo run one on Thursdays. Write to Luchana at luchanauzunova@gmail.com

Ilona holds a monthly meeting. Write admin@ilonaciunaite.com for that link & schedule

Loving,

[KB1]

Hi Stacy

Thank you for all the information. I will review it and come back to you.

I’m not sure what’s going on. I’m doing things that are so out of character for Kara. I’m opening up to work colleagues in a way I would never have done and I’m bitching about friends behind their back. I’m saying things I would never have said out loud before. But that I’ve felt for a long time.

It’s like nothing matters and I’ve decided that it’s all pretend so I can just be more open.

Just some thoughts.

Kara

[Anastacia42]

That sounds really great to me. There's a lot that needs to be adjusted after you realize there is no self running the show.


We have some traditional "final" questions. Let me know if you would like to attempt those. You can still get support

Loving,

[KB1]

Hi Stacy

Yes I’m ready for the final questions. Would you also please send me the details for the group you mentioned, the one that deals with people in similar industries to me.

Thank you again. What a beautiful soul you are giving your time to others.

Kara

[Anastacia42]

You're quite welcome.

I don't know what industries they work in, but here's that information:

We have a couple of support groups that are meeting via teleconference and I'll give you the information on that.

There are 3 meetings.

Vince Shubert runs one on the weekends. Write to vinceschubert@gmail.com for the link & schedule.

Luchana & Lubo run one on Thursdays. Write to Luchana at luchanauzunova@gmail.com

Ilona holds a monthly meeting. Write admin@ilonaciunaite.com for that link & schedule

Final questions coming up.

[Anastacia42]

Here. Take your time &be succinct.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Loving,

[KB1]

Hi Stacy

I’m working on answering the final questions. I’ll come back to you tomorrow.

Thank you

Kara

[Anastacia42]

Okay.

[KB1]

Dear Stacy

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No.

There was never a separate self only a belief that “I” existed. “I” was made up of a list of thoughts and supposed experienced. “I” was the trauma, the ongoing story, the reactions, the good person, the bad person, the moral one, the enlightened one, the angry one, the sad one, the one that grieved and all the other colours and flavours in between. But “I” is not anything. I means nothing and is nothing

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

Life happens, image by image, piece by piece, moment by moment. Nobody owns it. It’s been so long since I joined this forum I cannot actually remember how I felt prior to joining. But separate self is ownership. Everything that happens is “owned” by the illusion of self. This happens and that happens, good, bad and ugly and it’s all allegedly owned by ME. My life my experiences, my bad experiences, my good times( which actually are polluted with thought and usually short lived or lived in bursts) nothing felt secure and there was always a desire for more of something.

But now, life happens, life takes care of life as they say. If I watch a car drive past and 40 other people see it, is that MY experience or is that a collective experience that just happens regardless of wherever narration in the mind tells me it happened.

There is no controller, no manager, no tiny little dictator running the show. The show goes on and it can go on without a narrator without a pretend identity of “I”

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It’s strange because it’s like this is how it’s always been. It’s a sense of peace. It’s like home.

It’s been a journey. I have been on and off this forum for almost a year. There has been no big reveal, no big Woah, no life changing moment. It’s been work to see, I kept coming back to it. Poor Stacy!! At times I was so angry and fed up ( butt chair 😂) with the process

Here’s one big shift for me;

I came here because my mother died. I was anxious, sad and I had an unspoken hurt with her siblings. A story I created.
I would meet them and be polite but an anxious mess. I would actively try to avoid them if I saw them. It was strange.

This past week when I met them, something shifted, I saw that regardless of what “i” believed was happening, or the story the “I” created was not real. It was fake, a lie. There was no I controlling it, previous narration and looped thoughts would be saying I must be doing this or behaving like this and what are they thinking etc. But when I saw, conversations just happened, I wasn’t triggered, I didn’t have any internal dialogue, it was just being, the conversations just unfold, there was no I. I was able to just be.

What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Persistence and a lot of it. It wasn’t a lightbulb or a singular moment. And mostly it was Stacy’s direct guidance. In the beginning the bluntness of it shocked me. I know this forum says it’s simple to see but I would probably say it’s not that simple if you are carrying a lot of trauma and sometimes the I is the only thing you think you have ( this is a story I know) but it took a lot to break/see through. Stacy was very patient and I really appreciate her time and support. Also reading the Gateless Gatecrasher really helped

Describe decision & give examples from experience.

I’m not sure on this. But I asked this question of Stacy when you have a decision to make. What I am finding is, life just happens, decisions are made without the noise and the belief that I controls it. Make a decision from the heart or whatever the word is and the chit chat coming from “ I” is dropped. Ultimately and I’m only 85 per cent there on this, decisions aren’t really decisions and whatever is going to happen will happen. This is an unbelievable for me to see. I work and live by what I believed to be controlling things. Now I know I control nothing. Because there is no I.

I would say something what I viewed as very very challenging at work was greatly affecting me. I now have learned it’s unfolding as it going to unfold. I’ve stopped fighting it and as they say life takes care of life. This doesn’t mean I won’t do what is needed etc but I do it without the constant loop of utter nonsense in the head.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

I’m not sure on this.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

I again am not sure on this. I suppose without an I, there is no one making decisions and if no decisions are made then there can’t be free will. I also have read quite a bit about free will and how it isn’t real. However, in practice I’m not sure I fully see that there is nothing that can be done to change the trajectory of life.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

This is the same as before. Without an I, there is no one to choose and what appear as choices just happen.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

Again not sure but same principle as above.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

Life just happens. I see this, we all do to a certain degree. On a bigger scale when something very tragic happens, people will sometimes see it just happens so the same applies to all the small things that appear in life. They just happen.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Nothing. I actually cannot believe I see this or feel it. I always always identified as someone who carried a lot of responsibility. Now I see life takes care of everything. Whatever is supposed to happen will happen.

6) Anything to add?

Thank you Stacy. What a beautiful soul you are, it amazes me that you give your time so freely and so patiently. I am very grateful.


Forever grateful

Kara

[Anastacia42]

Kara, this is great! You broke through the illusions.

On Question 2, we're asking when & how this illusion was formed. perhaps in childhood?

On Question 5, they're all illusions, as you said including intention. Can you see this? If life happens on its own, as you say, where does that leave all of those?

Once you reply to these, I'll share your answers with other guides, who may have questions.

Stay tuned!

You've done excellent work & you've been very brave, especially about work & your mother.

Much love to you.

[KB1]

Hi Stacy

we're asking when & how this illusion was formed. perhaps in childhood?

Yes, I guess in childhood although I’m not convinced we aren’t born with it……

Can you see this? If life happens on its own, as you say, where does that leave all of those?

I see they are all illusions.

Thank you

Kara

[Anastacia42]

Okay I'll share your answers with other guides who may have questions.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Hi Kara,

You've done well. No one had any questions, but one comment said, "Lots of clean-up needed" and recommended you attend video groups to help you clean up untrue beliefs that were hanging on the false "I" thoughts.

I agree.

Hopefully, you'll also be in touch with Karl. That may also help.

I'm still around, too, if you need me. I'm Stacy Ann Clark in Colorado on Facebook.

Watch your Private Messages above right for more. It has been a pleasure.

Loving,