The truth doesn't need my belief to exist

[Jadzia]

Are attention & awareness two different things? Because to me at the moment they seem the same.

Lets have a look.
Usually it is thought that attention can be directed, is it so?
What about awareness?

We use a lot of words, all seemingly having one meaning. Look are there many awarenesses, lot of individual ones or just one?
What about words describing all the differences?
Try something.
Think a sentences with the word sidstrate in it, with an I.
Then think a sentences with the word jadzia in it, with a you.
Do this sentences feel any different?

What about all the words, needed apart from conversation, yes or no?

Love,
Jadzia

[Sidstrate]

We use a lot of words, all seemingly having one meaning. Look are there many awarenesses, lot of individual ones or just one?

There is only what is happening at any moment.
I’m either aware of something or not.

What about words describing all the differences?
Try something.
Think a sentences with the word sidstrate in it, with an I.
Then think a sentences with the word jadzia in it, with a you.
Do this sentences feel any different?
What about all the words, needed apart from conversation, yes or no?

“I am healthy, you are healthy” repeated.
There was more emotional content attached to the sentence when I said ‘I’.
I repeated quite a few times, & watched the emotional activity. Eventually things settled down & I was just left with the words. Meaningless words.

I tried this with a few other sentences. I noticed that I was attached to different meanings that provoked different emotional responses. Pride, guilt, joy, etc.

[Jadzia]

There is only what is happening at any moment.
I’m either aware of something or not.

This doesn't answer the question.

Is there one awareness or many? Many like in yours, mine, your mothers, my dogs ect.?

And writing "I’m either aware of something or not.", could you describe the I which is aware?

“I am healthy, you are healthy” repeated.
There was more emotional content attached to the sentence when I said ‘I’.

So sentences with an I have an emotional content - how does this work? Is there really an emotional content or a thought 'telling' of an emotional content?

Love,
Jadzia

[Sidstrate]

There is only what is happening at any moment.
I’m either aware of something or not.
This doesn't answer the question.
Is there one awareness or many? Many like in yours, mine, your mothers, my dogs ect.?
And writing "I’m either aware of something or not.", could you describe the I which is aware?

Who is the I? the ‘I’ doesn’t exist so there is just awareness.
But I am only aware of certain things. I am not aware of what is happening in the house down the road. There is awareness of sounds & lights & shapes. Everything else is thought

“I am healthy, you are healthy” repeated.
There was more emotional content attached to the sentence when I said ‘I’.
So sentences with an I have an emotional content - how does this work? Is there really an emotional content or a thought 'telling' of an emotional content?

I have been discovering the thought ‘I’ is attached to an emotional quality. Some sort of physical, biological memory that comes into awareness when ‘I’ is spoken.

[Jadzia]

Who is the I? the ‘I’ doesn’t exist so there is just awareness.
But I am only aware of certain things. I am not aware of what is happening in the house down the road. There is awareness of sounds & lights & shapes. Everything else is thought

"I am only aware of certain things" is nothing but a thought, too, or? And is it always true that there is only awareness from one point/center? What about epiphanies?
Remember there is no separation at all.

I have been discovering the thought ‘I’ is attached to an emotional quality. Some sort of physical, biological memory that comes into awareness when ‘I’ is spoken.

Did you check this in DE? Is there a something called emotional quality? A physical, biological memory? DE only please.
What is there which isn't thought? look carefully.

Love,
Jadzia

[Sidstrate]

"I am only aware of certain things" is nothing but a thought, too, or? And is it always true that there is only awareness from one point/center?

I think i see what you are getting at. I theory yes but I think I need to look more to see this.

What about epiphanies?

Isn’t an epiphany a thought?

Remember there is no separation at all.
I have been discovering the thought ‘I’ is attached to an emotional quality. Some sort of physical, biological memory that comes into awareness when ‘I’ is spoken.
Did you check this in DE? Is there a something called emotional quality? A physical, biological memory? DE only please.

I say “I am looking forward to tonight”
This brings up a state of emotion - a mixture of lots of things - nervous system ,biochemical reaction, etc.
I look deeper into the emotion & feel vibrations
But the vibrations are just a label for sensations.

What is there which isn't thought? look carefully.

This is a great question. I have returned to this a number of times.
Everything it seems (All feelings & touch), boil down to sensations.
Sight, sound & smell are different.
Sight is colour, light & dark
Smells are smells
Taste is taste
Everything else is thought.

Much Love

[Jadzia]

I think i see what you are getting at. I theory yes but I think I need to look more to see this.

It is good to check it yourself.
But don't get hang up. Lightly, touching and experiencing and not thinking about.

What about epiphanies?
Isn’t an epiphany a thought?

Yes, they appear in a content of thought. Where do they come from and is there a difference between a thought about lets say a car and a realization/epiphany?

I say “I am looking forward to tonight”
This brings up a state of emotion - a mixture of lots of things - nervous system ,biochemical reaction, etc.
I look deeper into the emotion & feel vibrations
But the vibrations are just a label for sensations.

Here you have to be really discerning. What tells about a state of emotion and so on, thoughts do. There are sensations which can be felt but how they feel, what they are, what they point to and what they can be interpreted as, and that they are connected to bla bla bla is all thought story.
Check this.

[quoteThis is a great question. I have returned to this a number of times.
Everything it seems (All feelings & touch), boil down to sensations.
Sight, sound & smell are different.
Sight is colour, light & dark
Smells are smells
Taste is taste
Everything else is thought.[/quote]
Physical sensation, colour, smell, taste, sound - not thought. Light and dark is already interpretation, label as well as red green and so on.

Did you redo the excercises in the thread. If yes, how did it go?
And what else did you find?

Love,
Jadzia

[Sidstrate]

There are sensations which can be felt but how they feel, what they are, what they point to and what they can be interpreted as, and that they are connected to bla bla bla is all thought story.
Check this.

I get this to a point. & then when more severe experiences/reactions occur, all looking is out. Is it really possible to experience sensations & not label as desirable or undesirable? If they are extreme pain or pleasure?
SO i looked at these questions...
If I was being choked to death, my survival instincts would run the show, but then, could anyone see the rejection of this experience as merely thought? I see...
The thought comes in later. No time to think at the time. It’s just instincts isn’t it. Life just happening, as it does.

Did you redo the excercises in the thread. If yes, how did it go?
And what else did you find?

I’ve been asking myself “After thought, what is left”
There is a lot of thought! So much.
So many layers!
I’m still going with this. I keep getting distracted. I find it easier in bed at night or first thing in the morning.

I will continue with this enquiry

Much love

[Jadzia]

& then when more severe experiences/reactions occur, all looking is out.

Even more discernment is needed, ;-), what does the labeling severe, nice, easy ect.?
Does a sensation know anything of a label, meaning how bad, severe it is?

It’s just instincts isn’t it. Life just happening, as it does.

Yes, plain survival programme.

I’ve been asking myself “After thought, what is left”
There is a lot of thought! So much.

You might make it a bit easier if you rephrase your question. Try: what is behind the layer of thought, always?
Remember, there is nothing wrong with thoughts - they are just as good a part of what is like everything else.

Love,
Jadzia

[Sidstrate]

& then when more severe experiences/reactions occur, all looking is out.
Even more discernment is needed, ;-), what does the labeling severe, nice, easy ect.?
Does a sensation know anything of a label, meaning how bad, severe it is?

No a label doesn’t know anything
Labels cling to different sensations
A sensation has no relationship with the label
I'm trying to uncover the labels that masquerade as sensations.

It’s just instincts isn’t it. Life just happening, as it does.
Yes, plain survival programme.
I’ve been asking myself “After thought, what is left”
There is a lot of thought! So much.
You might make it a bit easier if you rephrase your question. Try: what is behind the layer of thought, always?
Remember, there is nothing wrong with thoughts - they are just as good a part of what is like everything else.

I’ll keep looking

[Jadzia]

I'm trying to uncover the labels that masquerade as sensations.

Have a look out for labels appearing, like sadness or something else and you won't find a sensation. Always interesting.

Love
Jadzia

[Sidstrate]

I'm trying to uncover the labels that masquerade as sensations.
Have a look out for labels appearing, like sadness or something else and you won't find a sensation. Always interesting.
OK the search is on! For the label of sadness.

I’ve been a bit distracted. My wife & I bought a house today!

[Jadzia]

OK the search is on! For the label of sadness.

Rather for labels which don't have a sensation behind or labels which don't fit, yes, they don't always do. Labels are suggestions and not always descriptions.

Congrats on buying a home for you and your sweet love!


Love,
Jadzia

[Sidstrate]

Thank you for your best wishes for me and my sweet love!! It is a very special time for us. xxx

It’s become clear to me that I need to let go of my illusions of control. My actions are constantly directed by thoughts about how I am being received. A constant redefining. Like a sail boat constantly adjusting it's course based on external forces, I steer my ship with subtle movements based on those around me rather than allowing.

My illusion of self is being propped up by outside reflections of my own thoughts.
Can I just be?
Can i just let life happen?
Can I allow everything to happen?

[Jadzia]

Right now I have the feeling as if you found a safe zone in this investigation. A zone where you more ponder what is than really look. This might have something to do with keeping safe, but the only way to really look through this illusion is to go the shaky path, the one which is a teeny weeny bit scary - and for that you need looking like a hawk what you can really find in DE and not do the Thinking About bit.
Could this be true?

It’s become clear to me that I need to let go of my illusions of control. My actions are constantly directed by thoughts about how I am being received. A constant redefining. Like a sail boat constantly adjusting it's course based on external forces, I steer my ship with subtle movements based on those around me rather than allowing.

For getting rid of the idea that there is an I which controls you have to look if this is only one of the repetative stories thoughts bring up or if there is really a controlling mechanism going somehow in a way you can directly experience.
Watch like a hawk, does the command to do something comes before, during or after the action.

Rise your arm, NOW!
Did an I rise the arm and was there any decision which one to rise?

The following outside views in life - external forces - is nothing but a story. Can you prove, really prove this is true? Do you find how this happens other than in a story of thoughts?

My illusion of self is being propped up by outside reflections of my own thoughts.

Don't you find the outside reflections in your own thoughts, too, just thoughts, same stuff?

Love,
Jadzia