Good morning T, (some insomnia here, so an opportunity to respond to you)
i" am not doing it because i couldnt stop myself if i wanted to.
Exactly. So relax and accept whatever happens, (watch how it will change) with a sense of joy that you 'marked' the point of divergence (into suffering, or not) with a smile.
because it would run the same thing over and over again
Ha yes. i sometimes find my mind repeating a word or a name that has some inherent cadence. i used to hate it too, but now i just look on with interest and wonder how long it will last.
Because we can't stop our thoughts or control them, we can recognize the 98% of them are rubbish and allow them to come and go, to pass right on through, without engaging them.
The 2% that are useful, those thoughts will get your attention without any effort from you anyway.
i have tinnitus (a persistent ringing in the ears) but i only notice it when i think about it. Same with thoughts, they flow through, but i couldn't tell you what they were about unless i pay attention to them.
But no i don't know why.
Exactly. Yet most people believe their mind, when it tells them that they had a
choice. That they
decided which hand to raise. It's part of the common delusion.
Ok well this is what i need to know then. Do or do not there is no try.
Yes, it's the beginning of having a wider perspective. (that eventually will become wisdom)
i didnt expect to be so draind. I wrote 2 pages and i was exhausted
Excellent. It sounds like a cathartic event.
Im not shure its not clear but i do think there are 6 smaller sharks not 1 big one.
No, there is one big one. It is 3d and will be quite clear when you see it.
Like i said, it is a discovery, so just be persistent and relaxed as you play around with your focus.
..and realize the any sense of achievement, of success or failure is a social construct. A story.
When you see it, it will be that all of the necessary conditions are present.
How will i accept
You won't. Accepting will happen (or not) ..and trying is like that positive thinking shit. You can't make acceptance happen. It is also a discovery. Like seeing the shark, when it happens it is because all of the required conditions are present.
body dismorfic dissorder
Ah, i had this as a kid. (why haven't i got a cleft chin like Superman ? etc.)
Do you also feel quite genderles and ageless? I
Hmm, gender and age are only there if i think about them. It is more that i am experience. It's hard to explain.
When i look in a mirror, the surprise is that it appears that there is a body that has the experiencing.
When there is no mirror, there is just the experiencing.
Even seeing hands typing doesn't cause the association with the body. When thinking about seeing the hands typing, there is just typing. When not thinking/seeing the hands typing, there are just words appearing on a screen.
love
vince
