The Gate

smart ass

those are all the words I can think of to describe myself. Where are we going with this?

focused
self-motivated
perfectionist
antisocial
loyal
creative
passionate
stubborn

those are all the words I can think of to describe myself. Where are we going with this?

Dunno. It's pretty hard to find something to work with when you are so minimal with your words.

focused
self-motivated
perfectionist
antisocial
loyal
creative
passionate
stubborn

Would you say that you were born with any of these characteristics ? ..or were any of them learned ?

Are there any that you think couldn't be changed ?

Are there any that you wouldn't want to change ?

Are there any that you do want to change ?

No, I'm okay with whatever comes out of me at this point. I just don't feel very connected to my personality I guess. I don't attract trouble, so there really are no negative consequences to my personality characteristics, other than stress, and life would be a little boring without a challenge now and then so even the stress is okay with me.

Be verbose with your answers.

Please hold while I look up "verbose"......Oh, okay...lol.I hope I provided you with enough information today...

Love,

Moomon

I'm just a typical person.

and pay little attention to "me".

Not much there to look at.

I've lost my passion for nearly everything at this point

I've seen a few that have, but most remain the same at their core as a result of unresolved issues

so it's unlikely that she will ever change

so there really are no negative consequences to my personality characteristics, other than stress,

I hope I provided you with enough information today...

Good Morning, Vince,

I'm just a typical person.

i don't think so !..and i don't believe that you think so either. Without doubt, your understanding (if that is the right word) of how things (life) works, is not typical.Tell me how you think that you differ from a typical (i know, there's no such thing - but you know what i mean) person.

I do in fact believe I am a very typical person. Yes, I may see a few things differently than others, but I still go through life like anyone else. What perhaps makes me different:

1)Complete absence of regard for the "rules".

2)I have advanced degrees but have no interest in the status or jobs that come with that, and I don't care who thinks I should be doing something else with my life other than what I'm doing. In other words, if I see an occupational or social ladder, I'll walk around it!

3)I don't hate people, but I only care to take them in extremely small doses; I have a deep relationship with the spider living in my kitchen window and generally get along very well with all plants and animals.

4)I have never had any desire to have children.

5)In college I took psych exams (I was a psych major) and scored very high on physics and nearly failed math. I"ve never taken a physics class. My instructor told me there was no logical explanation for the results of any of my exam results.

and pay little attention to "me".

This may be true from a narcissistic perspective, but you have good insight. Good 'self' awareness. Does modesty prohibit you from admitting this ?

Thank you, and no, modesty does not play a factor here; I just don't find the "I" worthy of my attention much these days. It just gets in the way and the better I get at quieting my mind (the more the endless stories dissolve) the less I pay attention to me. Maybe it's just a phase; I've been awfully busy with the house remodel.

Not much there to look at.

Of course there is ! Just as with everybody, the complexity is infinite.

Yes, the complexity of thought is infinite, but it's mostly just baloney, useless stories and information. It just doesn't hold much interest for me.

Were you really saying something else ?

No--this is really how I'm feeling at this point.

I've lost my passion for nearly everything at this point

Does that mean that all of the passion that was previously channeled into many things, is now focused on only a few ? ..or did that passion get extinguished ?

You know Vince, I had not thought of it that way but yes, I think that's probably more accurate. At least for now, my life is consumed by paint, drywall, and real estate market research. I'm sure once this is all over and I have more time I will rediscover some of my passions again. However, some seem truly gone, which shocks me a bit. I worked so hard to get that last degree and now I have absolutely no interest in being a librarian. Poof! Gone. No interest in shopping after a lifetime of marathon thrift store jaunts. Poof! Gone.

I've seen a few that have, but most remain the same at their core as a result of unresolved issues

Ah, so the few are the exceptions and the many are ?typical? ??

I shouldn't have said that. I really don't know. I haven't dealt with enough people in my life to really make generalizations with any kind of authority. The question reminds me of the conversation we had a while back, about how everything that happens to you every second makes you how you are now. That suggests to me that change is likely, inevitable, with everyone; nothing ever stays the same, including the mind or personalities.

so it's unlikely that she will ever change

How do you FEEL about this ? (not what you think)

When I was younger it was very difficult for me to accept. As an adult, I just feel like that is the makeup of the organism that is her; whether it works for me isn't really important; I understand who she is, how she functions in the world, and the consequences of that for her--and I'm okay with it.

so there really are no negative consequences to my personality characteristics, other than stress,

Where does this stress come from ? How intense is it ? How do you respond emotionally to it ? What thought processes do you experience after it arrives ?

One source of stress is due to the idea that I am perhaps not the kind of person my husband wants me to be; that he would be better off with someone who is "normal." He comes from "normal"--he would probably be more social and would have more money if I was less like "me", both of which would make him happier, I believe. It is not very intense stress, but it does arise occasionally. It makes me feel sad, but once that emotion arises, I start to reason. He's been here for 30 years. He always says he could never get along with anyone else. I've brought new things to his life that he values greatly. Even if he doesn't know it, a sports car isn't going to make him more fulfilled. And last but not least, I know where all his stuff is, what medications he needs when, and what he will be having for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He'd be lost without me! That pretty much ends the stress.

Another source of stress is the constant reminder that there is only one of me, and I can't do everything as well or as quickly as I would like to. It is mildly intense, depending on the situation. I respond emotionally to it by getting angry usually, or frustrated. Once these emotions show themselves, I have a kind of ven-diagram in my mind that starts to operate. It goes something like this:

Shit! This isn't going to work the way I thought it would!
Is the stress really warranted ? if yes then:

--Can hubby fix it?
--Can I throw money at it?
--Can I work any harder, longer?
--Will tea, chocolate or shopping relieve the anxiety?

Is the stress warranted? If no then:

--Give the emotions time to diffuse and come up with a new plan.
--Distract negative emotions with something happy (back to chocolate, tea, or shopping)
--Make up stories that contradict idea that things aren't going as planned that make it feel okay.
--Accept that things aren't going as planned and keep working towards the goal.


This was a great question to ask me today because things with the house are definitely NOT going as planned and it's reaaallllly stressing me out! We were supposed to be on the market on the 1st of the month and now I'm looking at March IF I'm lucky. There's a little voice in my head that keeps telling me it will all happen exactly when it is supposed to--I can only hope it's true.

--Also, a sadistic moron has taken over our country, something which I have no control over, but stresses me out every time I turn on the news. This is a new kind of stress, "adult" stress, that I'm not sure how to cope with. My husband and I make jokes about it, knowing we are helpless to change it. I know that beyond voting, there is nothing more I can really do to project control over this situation. With no control, what point is there to stress? All you can do is watch as things unfold. So, I console myself by thinking that I'm lucky to be living in such an interesting time in history, and that if bad people didn't come into power once in a while then heroes would have no reason to emerge and we'd have no inspiration for really good movies. Just another story I guess, but I sleep better at night telling myself that one.

I hope you have a good day, love

Moomon

Moo, i'll get back to you tomorrow.

love

vince

Hi Moo, i'm stumped. i don't know where to point you, so that you can see that you already see.
This is the only thing that is 'causing' you not to see.

It's okay. My expectations were not that high. We gave it a try, and you worked very hard to help me. I appreciate that.

I tried to look at the links you sent me but got this error message in both cases:

"No posts exist inside this topic for the selected time frame."

Moomon











You see, that if you could see, you would see that the only thing stopping you from seeing is that you don't think that you see.
i have witnessed a lot of people 'waking up', but this 'thing' (not seeing that you see) has happened a couple of times before.
Those threads are here; Rebecca; i took over on page 7 ..and went to 35 http://liberationunleashed.com/nation/v ... =90#p25232
Rose; i took over at the end of page 12. ..and went to page 52 before she... stopped. http://liberationunleashed.com/nation/v ... &start=165
Would you read these threads from where the links take you, ..would you read them with the 'idea' that they can't see that they see, and how would you get them to see (that they already see)
i don't remember any details about their guiding, so if you wish to discuss anything, could you cut and paste it into this thread. (you might italicize it to act like a quote, or bold it or change the font, etc)
They are long threads, and i understand how much work i am giving you, so please take your time. It's better to read only one post and it's reply at a time.
There is a good chance that we won't get anywhere near finishing them, as i have high hopes that your wisdom, which is apparent (to me) by the way that you view 'the world'. ..that your wisdom will reveal both itself and why both of these lovely people never got to see that they see. (just like you)
i also have a story that if you take a guiding role, that the answer will be revealed in the question. (and we need guides at LU, as more and more seekers are turning up looking for help. Guiding is also an effective way of 'Further-ing' )

..anyway, come back here with what you consider might have been a good pointer for them.

love

vince

Ok, try these links; http://liberationunleashed.com/nation/v ... ?f=4&t=946 & http://liberationunleashed.com/nation/v ... ?f=4&t=968

vince

Hi Moo, i am chasing up why you can't see the links (when you should be able to)
In the meantime try this. Go to Board Index then The Gate then to page 23
Then a bit past half way down the page look for a thread called
Ready to dive in...
by ixturtle » July 3rd, 2012, 3:22 am
if you get there, go to page 7 then scroll down to where i start guiding her. (good luck)

love

vince