Hi Sarah,
This afternoon
And there it is! ‘You don’t want’. This is the wall you have to look at. This is thought wanting anything but what is! Its pure want! Sit with this want! Look at this want! See it for what it is. Stop thinking about it and look! Are you the thinker? Do you decide what thoughts you have before you have them?
“Are you the thinker?”
No, the thinker is another thought.
“Do you decide what thoughts you have before you have them.”
No, they just arise.
This is thought wanting anything but what is!
I see this. I realize it’s just another wave in the ocean.Thoughts arise, they just come up on their own. But if the content of thought is not real, what is the mirror reflecting; a delusion?
On 8/4 - 2:44 pm you wrote: “The mirror accepts all reflections regardless of content.”
OK, end of problem.
“And there it is! ‘You don’t want’. This is the wall you have to look at. This is thought wanting anything but what is! Its pure want! Sit with this want! Look at this want! See it for what it is. Stop thinking about it and look!”
Will look at this!
As in you don’t want to be a mindless robot? That implies a choice. Where is the choice? Who or what does choice? Is that controlled? And wouldn’t you already be one – if there is no you?
“Where is the choice?”
If there is a hundred zucchini in the stand , one does get chosen.
There is no one to do the choosing, but a zucchini does get chosen.
That action is controlled by external circumstances, which is a control, but a zucchini does get chosen.
Or:
The are certain requirements associated with which zucchini is chosen, size, freshness, lack of bruising, sections discolored etc. Seeing scans the stand, one is chosen that fits the requirements, and then thought comments and says I choose that one.
The resistance seems to be not in no self, but in no free will. I have this fantasy that I become Clear, become compassionate, become involved in something I want nothing to do with, and spend the rest of my life in misery.
This is thought and I see it all the time. Where this is coming from I don’t know. It’s more of “And there it is! You don’t want”.
“As in you don’t want to be a mindless robot?”
“And wouldn’t you already be one – if there is no you?”
God, now that’s a great question! But there is no you.
So were all robots in the great Karmic scheme of things?
This evening
DE is nothing more than noticing what is happening now – what sensations are occurring, what feeling is being felt, what emotions are being experienced, whether thought is happening or not – again not following content. That’s it! So when wanting happens – sit there somewhere quiet maybe, and see what sensations are being experienced, what feeling, what emotion, whether thought is chippering away or not, whether lots of thought is glued to a sensation like want. That’s it. Look.
Sat for 60 min. or better. Out on the balcony. The cool breezes blowing on my legs, the insects and frogs making a wonderful sound. The cars, air conditioners and the sounds of human beings also making their sounds. The sky was a beautiful blue, the trees, bushes, grass also a nice
green. Everything was perfect. The mind slowed down almost immediately becoming very easy to watch. There was no inner movement, only thought. Everything was outside, the outer movement. All senses were open and the body and mind were relaxed. There was no wanting to be seen.
I don’t disagree with “And there it is! You don’t want.”, but it was not there.
Thanks for putting up with me. -- Larryxxx
