Male from Finland

[graceabounds]

To whom are the thoughts arising?
A: It's hard to say. It's more just this point where also other experiences are experienced in the head and not to someone

So the thoughts are arising to No One?

Is it true?

No experiencer but experience happening.
No noticer but noticing happening.

Really sit with this. Lean in.

With love,
Becca

[graceabounds]

Hi,

Just checking in…
to see what is arising in/with you

-Becca

[Tuoli]

Merry Christmas,

It happened again that I didn't get notification from your reply. It might be my new phone causing this...anyway good to have you beck even you didn't go anywhere!

So the thoughts are arising to No One?
A: As I went about my days, I noticed lot of anger and quite abit of sadness that seemed to come from no particular or new reason. Anger and sadness were fueling thoughts. I was trying my best to watch and feel them, failing and doing it again. Feelings were felt on stomach area. There was suffering too with these persistent negative thoughts and feelings. Then occasionally there was also looking if there was someone who was suffering, angry or sad. There wasn't and still amazingly there has been suffering nevertheless from these.

Is it true?
A: Yes, this I was checking also during these days. There must be some one who is suffering, resisting what is even I cannot find it or something else happening that I can't put finger on?

No sufferer but suffering happening?

[graceabounds]

Merry Christmas!

If you don’t hear from me in two days I would go ahead and check. :)

Some emotional response is often experienced in this process, after all we are turning ‘your’ world as it is known upside down. Continue to notice the thoughts that fuel them… there is something here, a belief, fear or expectation to be uncovered and examined.

The body knows. So the next time you have that sense of feelings in the stomach area get really quiet and ask them directly:
What message do you have for me?
Pay close attention. The answer may be in pictures, a memory, not necessarily in words or linear.

There must be some one who is suffering, resisting what is even I cannot find it or something else happening that I can't put finger on?

Is there a desire for things to be different than they are?

-Becca

[Tuoli]

Happy Christmas day,

The body knows. So the next time you have that sense of feelings in the stomach area get really quiet and ask them directly:
What message do you have for me?

Will try when that happens again... I couldn't remember that technique when it was on even I tried to.

Is there a desire for things to be different than they are?

There has been resistance to these feelings and wishing they would pass, - and wishing it was noticed too.

There is general resistance to pain and wishing for pleasurable thoughts and experiences... Life situation could be better too even there's plenty of things to be grateful and happy about.

[graceabounds]

Hi Esa,

There has been resistance to these feelings and wishing they would pass, - and wishing it was noticed too.

There is general resistance to pain and wishing for pleasurable thoughts and experiences... Life situation could be better too even there's plenty of things to be grateful and happy about.

Nice noticing here.

The end of suffering from a thought that says ‘Ugh, I don’t want this’ is not to attach to another thought that proclaims ‘there’s plenty to be happy about.’ The end of suffering is in seeing that all these thoughts, that arise from nowhere and go to nowhere, are not personal. Not Truth.

Say you had a cold. There are sensations that come, discomfort in the body. But the suffering is not from that. It is from identification with the thoughts that come like ‘I shouldn’t be sick’ ‘I need to do such and such’ ‘Is this cold ever going to go away’ ‘I’m so miserable’ ‘It was that woman at the Christmas party who gave this to me’… on and on, all of this nonsense.

Each time there is resistance, each time there is wishing, inquire:
Who or what is owning this thought?
Is the ‘me’ that this thought refers to real, or is it just another thought?

Also… free to take this up after the holiday and just be present in the unfolding of the day. :)

With love,
Becca

[Tuoli]

Hi,

Each time there is resistance, each time there is wishing, inquire:

Who or what is owning this thought?
Is the ‘me’ that this thought refers to real, or is it just another thought?

Upon enquiring the resistance melts away. As there's no one resisting or wishing, resistance and wishing pop like other thought balloons that they are.

[graceabounds]

Lovely. Really nice looking.

This appears significant from here.

What remains when the resistance and wishing melt away?

Would you like to deepen into this recognition using the same exercise for another day or two in different contexts and let me know how it goes?

[Tuoli]

Namaste,

What remains when the resistance and wishing melt away?

It's kind of same as asking "What is this?" How could you give an answer?
It feels like peace. It's excistance. It's same as before but with allowing and experiencing what is appearing. It doesn't seem to be significant even it could be.

Would you like to deepen into this recognition using the same exercise for another day or two in different contexts and let me know how it goes?

Yes, there's thought that says that this is so new that I would need guidance but it's a thought. I have plenty of time by myself this weekend. You could give few examples though...

[graceabounds]

Nice.

Yes. Significance only in thought. In comparing anything with just this, which is always present, always available.
It is the non-event, this seeing.

If there is no resistance to be found, then you could simply relax into experiencing this weekend. The joy of experiencing. Go for a walk perhaps, seeing the bare branches of the trees, the glimmering of light on snow, feeling the wind or sun, opening the senses to how everything just moves, all too without a thought about it, without resistance.

And then, look… is there seeking?

With love,
Becca

[Tuoli]

Hi,

I hurt my back by lifting my now almost 30kg son when avoiding same time lamp hanging from sealing on thursday.

Laying alone at home in back pain, there was boredom. This was recognized to be resistance to what is. And even there wasn't someone owning it, it was changed by binchwathing second season of one TV series I liked at Netflix. Then there was resistance to, or rather thoughts, that not being ok as I should be seeking liberation "like my hair is on fire" from Buddha quote you provided earlier. But who should get the liberation? Isn't seeking resisting to what is? Wishing something, - and who is doing it?

Doesn't seeking need a seeker wishing things could be better? I watched also Ilona's YouTube interview with Jim part 3 and realized how much "progress" there has been since I watched that last time. Thoughts, emotions and their feeding each other get recognized quite often now just for as an example.

Today was first day I could take a short walk. There was mostly being careful that the walking and posture were so that back doesen't hurt and thoughts about what to write:

Right at the moment there is no seeking. There's no boredom either. Rather there is looking and experiencing but thought that is believed in is that when life situation gets difficult again, there will be seeking again. - That when there's suffering, there will be resistance. It may or may not be true.

There's also some (wishing)thoughts that this would be more elegant and less mundane raport of these few days but there's no one who could have done anything differently or otherworlds: in control.

[graceabounds]

Beautiful looking Esa,

Regarding “hair on fire”: it is a useful prescription in order to push past what can be increasingly imaginative and uncomfortable attempts by an egoic structure to regain relevance in the face of its demise. Once the illusion dissolves then, as you have noted, there isn’t really anything to do! Or anyone to do it. :)

Really great that you were able to revisit those Ilona/Jim videos and recognize the changes that have taken place over the course of this conversation. Sometimes the shifts can happen quite gradually, and it is nice to have a barometer like this to notice what is now naturally present.

So let’s circle all the way back:
There is no separate self, there never was, there never will be.
What emerges? Thoughts? Sensations? Beliefs? Write what is noticed. :)

With love,
Becca

[Tuoli]

Namaste,

There is no separate self, there never was, there never will be.
What emerges? Thoughts? Sensations? Beliefs? Write what is noticed. :)

There is no separate self.
This is true. Everything is experiencing here. Here might go too eventually.

There never was.
Without thorough looking thoughts about suffering, seeking or happy self was believed. That's all.

That never will be part gets little bit resisting now... Thoughts go like this: before self was believed, couldn't it be believed again in a bad or very good life situations? Extreme example could be terminal illness or real, and not this cold war, with Russia. When every day would be survival with sleep depravation. As future is made of speculative thoughts, there's no way of knowing. If self would be believed again, it would be same as if it were real, - like before.

[graceabounds]

Namaste.

Everything is experiencing here. Here might go too eventually.

Perhaps. If you’d like an inquiry related to this, locate the center of here.
Whatever sensations exist there: are they you? What is it the center of exactly?
The center may seem to move… follow… and look… is this sensation ‘I’?

Thoughts go like this: before self was believed, couldn't it be believed again in a bad or very good life situations? Extreme example could be terminal illness or real, and not this cold war, with Russia. When every day would be survival with sleep depravation. As future is made of speculative thoughts, there's no way of knowing. If self would be believed again, it would be same as if it were real, - like before.

I can see you see these are thoughts.
WHO needs to know what will happen?
If there is no one in control, is there anything to do?
Won’t it always be the present when everything is experienced?
Can you trust that actions will still be taken and thoughts noticed… just as they are now?
Can a mirage, once known to be an illusion, ever be seen as solid again?

With love,
Becca

[Tuoli]

Happy New year!

Whatever sensations exist there: are they you?
A: No, they are sensations.

What is it the center of exactly?
A: There isn't exact location. Same with sensations of arms or ass. Sensation centre can move little but is in the head area.

The center may seem to move… follow… and look… is this sensation ‘I’?
A: It is where experiences are experienced. That cannot be called I even it's different from other animals.

WHO needs to know what will happen?
A: Becca when she asks if there will be self here in the future. Tried to answer it. I don't know. Mind produces survival thoughts, - it's its prime function. Mind wants to know the future so it can survive and prosper.

If there is no one in control, is there anything to do?
A: Even there's lots of doing, there's no one that can change what is happening.

Won’t it always be the present when everything is experienced?
A: In a dream is it the present? Future or past can be experienced in dreamers present. I have no idea of what's in deep sleep. Otherwise yes.

Can you trust that actions will still be taken and thoughts noticed… just as they are now?
A: Well, here is the thing, they were taken and noticed differently before not a long time ago. Can I trust they will be done same way as now? No.

Can a mirage, once known to be an illusion, ever be seen as solid again?
A: It all boils down to last question. If there's so much thirst, maybe mirage of oasis is believed again? How many times it would happend before death by thirst would be accepted? Maybe better answer to that "there never will be" is that I don't know because I really can't know the future. It's made of thoughts at the present.