Streaming, not Dreaming

[Windaway]

No awareness cannot be improved, but it can be forgotten. The forgetting keeps happening by becoming interested in the 'drama' of thinking, as you say.

How does it feel to remember ?
How does it feel to forget?

[Eustress]

How does it feel to remember ?
How does it feel to forget?

That's an interesting question. Remembering and forgetting are not feelings, they just happen spontaneously.

[Windaway]

That's an interesting question. Remembering and forgetting are not feelings, they just happen spontaneously.

ok, but tell me how it FEEL when one or the other happen.

How does it feel when you remember ?

How does it feel when you forget?

[Eustress]

How does it feel when you remember ?

How does it feel when you forget?

Remembering and forgetting don't feel like anything. Remembering feels like whatever past associations exist with the memory, but the act of remembering itself doesn't feel like anything.

Forgetting doesn't feel like anything because it goes unnoticed.

It's like the other senses - smelling doesn't feel like anything, seeing doesn't feel like anything. Things that are seen or smelled can have emotional charges, though.

[Eustress]

How does it feel when you remember ?

How does it feel when you forget?

Remembering and forgetting don't feel like anything. Remembering feels like whatever past associations exist with the memory, but the act of remembering itself doesn't feel like anything.

Forgetting doesn't feel like anything because it goes unnoticed.

It's like the other senses - smelling doesn't feel like anything, seeing doesn't feel like anything. Things that are seen or smelled can have emotional charges, though.

[Windaway]

Few message back your wrote:

No awareness cannot be improved, but it can be forgotten. The forgetting keeps happening by becoming interested in the 'drama' of thinking, as you say.

Remembering and forgetting don't feel like anything. Remembering feels like whatever past associations exist with the memory, but the act of remembering itself doesn't feel like anything.

If remembering and forgetting don't feel like anything.

Why do you want to remember?

Why do you care if you forget?

[Eustress]

If remembering and forgetting don't feel like anything.

Why do you want to remember?

Why do you care if you forget?

When I forget to see the open awareness, I become lost in delusion.

[Windaway]

If remembering and forgetting don't feel like anything.

Why do you want to remember?

Why do you care if you forget?

When I forget to see the open awareness, I become lost in delusion.

When you become lost in delusion how does that feel?

[Eustress]

When you become lost in delusion how does that feel?

I guess it doesn't feel like anything until another thought of who I think I am comes in and judges it.

[Windaway]

I guess it doesn't feel like anything until another thought of who I think I am comes in and judges it.

This is not about guessing.

I find it strange how hard it seems for you to speak about your emotions.

Maybe because I use the world:"feeling" and this word brings confusion.

I started asking about how you feel when you talked about your difficulties of concentration :

I have also noticed that I have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. It is just a few seconds until another thought takes my attention. That's why I keep asking about concentration...

You have to understand experiencialy and FEEL that you want to do concentrate BECAUSE you want to feel good. By SENSING your body when you are in the drama and SENSING your body when you are not in the drama, you will start to understand that all of what you want to do or not do is about emotion and sensation. When you are lost in the drama your body sensation feel bad when you are not it feels good. Just as the Pavlov dog's you will naturally start to be "less lost in thoughts " not because you are able to "concentrate" but because you SENSE in your body the effect of the drama.

If you hands are in a fire you will move them naturally as the pain will make it happens. Just the same when you will feel how terrible and uncomfortable it feel to be lost in the drama AND you have an option to that make you feel good your system will naturaly oriente toward it.

Can you sense your body right know and tell me what is happening in it?

Talk to me about sensation or emotion.

[Eustress]

I find it strange how hard it seems for you to speak about your emotions.

I think you've really identified a big problem I've been having. I often have a hard time identifying my feelings. I am working on somatic experiencing with a therapist currently.

By SENSING your body when you are in the drama and SENSING your body when you are not in the drama, you will start to understand that all of what you want to do or not do is about emotion and sensation.

So if I understand you, you are saying that awareness can note the bad physical feelings when thinking and also the good physical feelings when in the present, and this will condition the awareness to stay in the now. Is that correct?

Can you sense your body right know and tell me what is happening in it? Talk to me about sensation or emotion.

I feel a bit of excitement in my chest when I think about what you have pointed to. There is a warm, expansive, hopeful feeling. There is also a tight fear in the head that I will fail to be able to follow the suggestion because of being in the habit of getting distracted by thoughts. There is sadness that I will let us both down in the stomach, which feels a little like nausea.

It takes me a long time to identify and pick apart all these sensations and emotions, but it is very helpful. Thanks.

[Windaway]

I think you've really identified a big problem I've been having. I often have a hard time identifying my feelings. I am working on somatic experiencing with a therapist currently.

Somatic Experiencing is fantastic I am SE therapist ^^
Learning to feel with the direct texture of the sensation is the open doorway.

So if I understand you, you are saying that awareness can note the bad physical feelings when thinking and also the good physical feelings when in the present, and this will condition the awareness to stay in the now. Is that correct?

Yes

I feel a bit of excitement in my chest when I think about what you have pointed to. There is a warm, expansive, hopeful feeling. There is also a tight fear in the head that I will fail to be able to follow the suggestion because of being in the habit of getting distracted by thoughts. There is sadness that I will let us both down in the stomach, which feels a little like nausea.

Beautiful noticing!
See that there is not point in negotiating with sensation. They are there to be noticed that all.
There is also no point to judge the narration that comes with it. The narration is also there to be noticed.
Good work.

It takes me a long time to identify and pick apart all these sensations and emotions, but it is very helpful. Thanks.

Is like learning to swim in deep water. It feel hard at the beginning until you see that you are not in the deep sea but in your own bathtub at home and everything is fine. ^^

I don't have specific question for you.

Can you see that you are not a sensation?

Can you see that you are not a perception?

Can you see that you are not a thought?

[Eustress]

Can you see that you are not a sensation?

Can you see that you are not a perception?

Can you see that you are not a thought?

Yes... sensations, perceptions and thoughts all come and go within the awareness that I am. The awareness accepts everything.

[Eustress]

But, I might add, I am still lost in thoughts most of the time. These thoughts are in the awareness, but I have a hard time staying in the present for a long time.

[Windaway]

But, I might add, I am still lost in thoughts most of the time. These thoughts are in the awareness, but I have a hard time staying in the present for a long time.

What do you mean by "lost in thoughts"?


Tell me more about this "I" that is lost in thoughts.

What is this "I" made of?