Stop feeling bad and realizing the ultimate truth

[Bananafish]

Thanks!

What is "you having resistance"?

[Bananafish]

Can you find it anywhere?

[Search1207]

Hi..

Can you find it anywhere?

No

Regards
Seenam

[Bananafish]

Hi. :) Please tell me how you are feeling now, as you've found that out.

This time, please write freely; what thoughts, images, or bodily sensations come
with that understanding?

[Bananafish]

Please note that it's perfectly ok to write about your doubts also.

Kento

[Search1207]

Hi kento

It feels kind of weird that I was unable to find the one that had resistance. How is that possible? Even with this question there is a surety that there is no 'one' who had the resistance.

Then what are these thoughts that keeps saying I this, I that etc etc.
Where is the aha moment? Is that it?

I definitely more calm and peaceful even if there are so many thoughts coming up. It feels like some space has opened up in my heart. There is no feeling of infinite love for everyone ( maybe i expected it to happen).

Regards
Seenam

[Bananafish]

Hi Seenam. :) Great to hear that!

Where is the aha moment? Is that it?

Well, I thought what you described was "aha" enough, wasn't it? :)

One's reaction towards seeing through an illusion may differ; some may be intense,
some milder ... and the thing is, experiences pass.

Then, when an experience passes, what remains?

There is no feeling of infinite love for everyone ( maybe i expected it to happen).

Is that another thought you have towards "enlightened people"?
And where are these people? Anywhere outside a thought?


What about love for life?

Do you feel you're more accepting? Not a forced resignation, but do you feel a light, effortless
acceptance of life?


Warmly,

Kento

[Search1207]

Hi kento

Well, I thought what you described was "aha" enough, wasn't it? :)

Maybe I expected it to be very dramatic with tears of joy rolling down my cheeks ;-)

Is that another thought you have towards "enlightened people"?

Yes

And where are these people? Anywhere outside a thought?

No

What about love for life?

Do you feel you're more accepting? Not a forced resignation, but do you feel a light, effortless
acceptance of life?

Yes, there is a subtle acceptance of life.

Regards
Seenam

[Bananafish]

Hi Seenam. :)


How is self seen now?

Are you crystal clear of having seen through the illusion
of a concrete entity called self, which you've taken to be
separate from everything else?

Do you have anything you want to investigate together?


Best wishes,

Kento

[Search1207]

Hi kento

How is self seen now?

Are you crystal clear of having seen through the illusion
of a concrete entity called self, which you've taken to be
separate from everything else?

It's very difficult to say what exactly is this self, but let me try doing it - it's like an artificially created doer/controller. Efforts and thoughts are created around this entity to prove that it exist. We try our entire lives to protect it from any harm and continuous efforts are made to keep it happy.

Yes, I have seen through the illusion of separate self.

Not sure what exactly is meant by 'separate from everything else' - because there is no feeling that everything around me ( trees, air, furniture etc etc) are a part of me.

Do you have anything you want to investigate together?

No

Regards
Seenam

[Bananafish]

Hi Seenam. :)

Not sure what exactly is meant by 'separate from everything else' - because there is no feeling that everything around me ( trees, air, furniture etc etc) are a part of me.

That's ok, I didn't mean that you should be feeling that everything is part of you.


Would you like to proceed to the final set of questions?


Warm regards,

Bananafish

[Search1207]

Yes, for sure

[Bananafish]

Seenam, here you go. :)


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it ufully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?


Best wishes,

Kento

[Search1207]

Hi kento

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, there is no separate entity present anywhere. There are only thoughts present about self, me and I. These thoughts are taken to be the self when they are just thoughts.

No, there was never a separate self.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it ufully as you see it now.

Illusion of separate self is basically a thought that there is a controller/doer. Everything happens around the separate self because of the actions of the doer.

I think it starts when a repeated action of the person gives a same repeated reaction from things, people around that person. It is then that the thought 'I' becomes strong and the belief becomes unquestionable. Because I did this, this happened and it is easily assumed that - if I don't do this action, this reaction will not happen.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Relaxed, relieved that things doesn't happen on my whims and fancies.

Before I started the dialogue, there was an urge to prove that things didn't happen because of me. There was a constant lookout for ultimate peace and happiness ( not that I was unhappy or sad). Now the urge to prove has gone and there is a lightness overall. At the moment, there is no looking out for ultimate peace and happiness.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Unexpectedly asked to look for the separate self ( when asked to look for the 'you' who has resistance) pushed me. The word push is a little strong I would say, it was more about taking me off-guard.

5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Decision, intention, free will, choice and control all happen when they are suppose to happen. There is no-one who makes things happen, things happen on their own. Like more like questioning why a particular thought arises. No-one knows that. For two people committing suicide, why thought of self reflection comes to one but not to other?

What am I responsible for - again this maybe comes from my experiences in life till now ( though not 100% sure about where it comes from) - I think I am responsible for my behavior towards others ( plants, animals including humans). I am however not responsible for happiness and mental peace of others.

6) Anything to add?

Expectation of ultimate peace and happiness is something that pushes us to this seeing but it is something that hinders the seeing as well.

Also I am so so so thankful to you in guiding me to see it.

Regards
Seenam

[Bananafish]

Hi Seenam. :)

Beautiful answer, thank you so much for taking time to write ...

A few points I want to look at together:

For two people committing suicide, why thought of self reflection comes to one but not to other?

Could you elaborate on this question?
Is this what you want to make clear through investigation?

I think I am responsible for my behavior towards others ( plants, animals including humans). I am however not responsible for happiness and mental peace of others.

Yes, you act kindly towards others. And does that need a separate entity called "you"?
Or, it happens without a doer, when it's appropriate?


Warmly,


Kento