The Gate

Hello!

Memory Exercise

Almost everybody believes that a memory thought is referring to something that has happened. That a memory thought is a different thought than a non-memory thought.

I’m pretty clear that its just another thought, but love the exercises! They help reinforce this.

Please don’t go to thought explanations, but just let a memory be there, and look at it.

Look at what is actually going on and not what thoughts say - but what actually is.

What is memory exactly?

Just a thought arising.

What is the memory ‘made of’?

Words, feelings, and images.

WHEN does the memory appear?

Only right NOW.

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘memory’ thought?

No difference, except an idea (attached thought) that it is referring to something that has happened prior to NOW.

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘memory’ thought refers to something that has happened?

There really is no evidence, except another thought or assumption.

Then, look at a thought about the future.

What is the future thought ‘made of’?

Words, feelings, images.

WHEN does the future thought appear?

Only right NOW.

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘future’ thought?

Nothing except the additional assumption/thought that it is about something that could happen in the future.

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?

Another thought suggests it.

Then let’s compare a thought about past and a thought about the future.

What is the EXACT difference between the thoughts about past and future?

The additional thought/assumption that one has already taken place, and the other might take place later.

If there is difference and how is that difference is known exactly?

No, except that the additional thought says ‘when’ the event has or might happen.

And this brain/mind thingy that did some things you mentioned.

Can you point to it? See it. hear it, feel it, touch or taste it? WHERE is it? Or might it be like "self" only a story, content of thought?

I could touch the brain, and it is within the skull, but not the mind. No evidence that the mind is anything other than content of thought.

By the way--the book with the memory/imagination exercise was actually called "Awareness Games" by Brian Tom O'Connor. It has a lot of good stuff. The other one is good too, just in a different way.

Thanks, friend!
Lesa

Hi Lesa-friend--thought!

I'm nearly ready to submit your answers for further questions or confirmation.

So, is there a mind doing any deciding, controlling, intending, or choosing as you wrote before?

The concept you may be looking for, which we discussed a little bit is awareness. Awareness is. It requires no "self." (Some people call it "consciousness," But I got tired of that, because it was used to market every new age thing there is.)

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Again, because there’s no free will or choice-making, and there's no individual, there’s no responsibility for anything.

You are quite right that there is no responsibility for anything. Oddly, this is what we want an example of, please?

(Thanks for the note about the book. I have a couple to mention if you still want to do some exercises with your husband, look up Greg Goode, for example, I think it's called Direct Experiencing.)

Loving!

Hi there.

I wanted to let you know that I'm swamped with work and will answer you by Friday!

L

Sounds good.

Have fun!

Hi Lesa,

No rush here, but I thought I'd mention that it would be good if you compiled all of your new answers into one reply from the "final questions."

Thanks!
Stacy

Hi Stacy!

Here are my final question answers. Hopefully, they're all answered fully.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No. No, there never was.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

It appears to be a function of the brain/mind that begins working when we are very young, maybe less than 2 years old. It seems to be the result of a “program” that is designed to protect the body/mind and assist with decision-making, learning, etc. (here in the ‘game’ as I call it, or the ‘appearance’). It is a useful tool, but somehow, at least here, it had become the ‘main event’. It is so busy utilizing memories (if in fact there is such a thing) and projecting illusions of the future, that there’s little attention paid to being ‘alive’ here and now. It naturally “conceptualizes” experiences and thereby brings them down to mere bits of information. These events are then experienced as ‘dead’ but it becomes so habitual to see life that way, and be so constantly trying to stay ahead of things, that we don’t notice what’s happening. And, everyone else is doing it too, so it seems appropriate. Being caught up in the 'game/appearance' is the norm.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Well, at the risk of sounding like a cliché, it feels liberating! The difference is that things are very relaxed and have a natural, easy flow to them. Even difficult situations are much easier. The mind still steps in and wants to make drama out of everything, and brings fear to the forefront, but that is getting much easier to ignore. There’s an underlying sense of security, and people, who normally would have pressed my buttons, look so innocent now. Everyone’s playing the game, but only a few people know it’s a game and understand how things work. Nothing has changed in the world, but everything is different. It’s hard to take things that would have been important and threatening, in the past, seriously. After years of reading and studying non-duality, there is a lot of information that is suddenly available and makes sense. That might have made this easier, in some way. The data was there, just no instructions for making use of it. Now no instructions are needed. The perspective on life has radically changed. There is a lot of laughter and joy, for no apparent reason. Watching life happen is mostly fun and interesting now.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Two things pushed me over, though I had been LOOKING/SEEING off and on for a week or so—1) working with my guide on my big hook—“animals are suffering at the hands of people, and I am one of those people”. My guide had led me to the point of actually experiencing the nothingness, through the LU exercises. I understood that ‘conceptualizing’ was the big problem. We met in person, and she helped me break down my thoughts and concepts about animals suffering. Then later that day 2) I did an exercise from a book called “What Am I“ by Galen Sharp that required looking at what was in front of me without using any memory, or imagination about the future. I was looking at my dog by a campfire and I suddenly realized that all I knew for sure what that there were a bunch of colors, all changing shapes, a number of different sounds, smells, sensations, but no concepts! Dog, campfire, ground, forest were all labels or concepts that I'd been applying. I started laughing and laughed half the night (glad I was in my camper).

5)Describe decision

Decisions 'appear' to be made by the brain/mind, but certainly not by a fictional character—me. I have all kinds of theories about what they’re based on, but no evidence of anything but that they happen. That’s enough.

intention

Intention isn’t something I’ve thought about much, but I suspect that it’s, again, based on what the brain/mind has decided is in the best interest of the character, and I believe is also often “inspired” by “life”. The brain/mind is just the mechanism in the 'appearance' for thinking, like the eyes are the mechanisms for seeing, ears for hearing, etc.

free will

Free will, hmmm, no evidence that there’s anyone who has a will, but there is a sense of freedom. I have always equated ‘free will' with an individual’s ability to choose for him or herself, and thereby direct their future. I no longer see an individual anywhere, so this idea just falls apart. Since there is no free will, there is also no responsibility for anything. Used to think that would feel powerless, but oddly enough, it doesn’t, it feels 'free'!

choice and control

Choices happen, but nothing makes them, unless it’s the brain/mind in the appearance (which there’s no concrete evidence is actually happening or actually a thing). Control—can’t find anyone who has any control of anything. Not sure there even is such a thing. Things seem to just happen.

What makes things happen?

Don’t know.

How does it work?

Don’t know.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Again, because there’s no free will or choice-making, and there's no individual, there’s no responsibility for anything. Not sure if this is what you're looking for. You can look back on any choice and find a memory about the thing that just preceded it, but there is another memory about the thing that just preceded that, and another, and another, ad infinitum, each ‘apparently’ influencing the one before. So, you can never find any ‘cause’ for anything, so how could you possibly take responsibility for anything.

For instance, my political bent seems to be influenced by experiences I've had in my life, but at this moment, I have no evidence of any experiences, just memory-thoughts arising NOW indicating that things have happened in the past. In the 'appearance', this 'person' is conditioned to make choices based on those experiences, but since a 'self' can't be found, there can be no responsibility assigned to it.

Basically, it all boils down to the fact that the only thing we can be sure of is whatever's happening RIGHT NOW. And even that is just "appearance". We have concepts about what seems to have happened in the past, but they are based only on thoughts we call memories, and can't be verified at all. It's all just flashing on the screen. NOW, only NOW. How could anyone be responsible? And there is no evidence of anyone, anyway. :)~

6) Anything to add?

I’m helping my husband with this, and enjoying the process. I wonder if there are more resources that I might access both for my husband and myself. Haha! It’s so funny to use personal pronouns!

I’ve enjoyed this process immensely and am eternally grateful to those who started this and those who continue to help people 'see the light’. (I guess "those" are just "life" masquerading as individuals!) In one way it seems like a miracle that anyone does 'see the light', because the habits and conditioning are so entrenched in everyday, human life. In another way, it's the most natural thing in the world, and kind of funny that sight of what's really happening, is ever lost.

With deep gratitude, Lesa (apparently!)

Hi Lesa,

Good to hear from you!

I realize you've been busy with work and distracted, so let me connect some dots.

I do see there is more of an example (political) in #5. Good.

I could touch the brain, and it is within the skull, but not the mind. No evidence that the mind is anything other than content of thought.

Remember that I asked you to find this supposed "brain/mind?" Did you find it? If not, how is that still a part of the reply on #2 ? How does something that is only content of thought DO anything?

Then we did the memory exercise.

How does what you found change your mention of "memory" in your reply to #2 ?


Loving!

Hi lady!

Yes, I am very busy. Probably should’ve waited until this morning to finish the questions. (haha! Lots of 'content of thought' here!)

Remember that I asked you to find this supposed "brain/mind?" Did you find it? If not, how is that still a part of the reply on #2 ? How does something that is only content of thought DO anything?

No, I certainly did not find the mind. I should have revised that. No, it doesn’t do anything, can’t do anything. I didn't do a good job, but was trying to say that in the 'appearance', the "brain" is the apparatus for thinking, like the eyes are the apparatus for seeing, ears for hearing, etc. I cannot find a 'mind' and in fact, can't find any evidence that anything in the 'appearance' is real, either. There is just seeing, hearing, smelling, sensing, tasting, and thoughts arising, but no one for whom they are arising and no 'things' to see, hear, smell, etc. All just 'verbing'

Then we did the memory exercise.

How does what you found change your mention of "memory" in your reply to #2 ?

Memory is just content of thought that I call ‘memory thoughts’ or 'thoughts we call memories'

From my response in #5...
Basically, it all boils down to the fact that the only thing we can be sure of is whatever's happening RIGHT NOW. And even that is just "appearance". We have concepts about what seems to have happened in the past, but they are based only on thoughts we call memories, and can't be verified at all. It's all just flashing on the screen. NOW, only NOW. How could anyone be responsible? And there is no evidence of anyone, anyway. :)~

There's no evidence of anything but 'presence' or 'aliveness'. Everything else is conceptualized.

Hahaha! Enjoying the crap out of this!
Lesa

Great. Thank you. Agreed. It's a blast. I'm going to submit the thread for confirmation or further questions.

When confirmed, one of the admins will invite you to the Facebook groups, etc. That will come via a personal message at the top right of this page.

I hope you'll consider being a guide at some point. And would very much like to stay in touch.

Loving!

Thanks, Kiddo!

OK. I'll keep checking in. I'm having fun helping my husband and sister. I just might be interested in guiding. :)

And, I definitely want to stay in touch.

Biggest of hugs!
Lesa