Great to speak to you again too! :)
There was this sense of feeling flat lined afterwards particularly after the long and tedious years of various forms of inquiry.
Initially, There was a fear to admit that indeed clear seeing had occurred and on many earlier occasions before our conversations began - but to admit this also meant the confirmation that this realisation was definitely an anti climax.
Perhaps the seeking had become a form of identification, comfort or companionship in and of itself?
One can spend so long working towards a goal, then the final destination seems disappointing when reached.
This is because 99% of the life you have IS actually the journey - the goal itself lasts for but a fleeting moment.
This is why, being present in EVERY moment, making it all about the journey not the goal, is SO important.
When you look back, what do you think now, of the supposed former "self" who was seeking all this time?
And does the current "wishing" that the realisation is other than it IS, share any similarities with that?
Is this "wishing" appreciating the silence that is here NOW, or creating yet another new goal?
Which is more present?
There is no way to return to the belief of a separate self although some recent responses have not exactly demonstrated this conviction.
Remaining in the silence/space/openness becomes easier each day and recognising the truth...yet sometimes there is the appearance of forgetfulness.
Amazing! Forgetfulness is ok. When you "forget", there is still awareness to be found in the experiencing of thought itself.
Simply notice, and look for the self again each time this happens.
You cannot "unsee" it, so you cannot fall back.
The need to reference or seek out utube teachers has lessened significantly although those teachers who have been listened to recently seem to hit much deeper now. It all seems to be coming together more.
For me personally, this was a big removal of residual doubt.
After "knowing", there is simply a hidden depth of truth that pops out now. It cannot come from their actual words as it was not present before.
You may pick them up again should you wish, but as you have already seen, there may be less desire for it.
It has also emphasised how much knowing is present but also how much the unknown is also evident.
Embrace the unknown. It is filled with beautiful, infinite possibility :)
The desire to socialise has been significantly impacted over the years because of this search but particularly now ...it feels as if there is nothing to say to anyone currently. This points to the need to be in touch with more like minded beings - can you point to where or how this may be possible please?
Emphatically yes! Firstly we have aftercare groups on Facebook for meeting others who have recently gone through the Gate, also additional forums on LU where further questions can be discussed or looked at. An invite to all of these will be sent once we complete this thread.
There hasn’t been the opportunity to genuinely thank you for your time and support. It could be so easy to underestimate the impact of your work but you truly were a life line during some really tough moments during our conversations. It feels like a goodbye to a good friend ...so thank you so much .- you were very much appreciated in every moment.
That is beautiful, exceptionally kind, and humbling. It is a pleasure to help someone when the desire to see truth is so genuine and strong.
I will post the final questions below, if you are ready:
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
6) Anything to add?
