Wanted: direct experience

[moomon]

Good morning Vince,

First I must apologize and correct one misunderstanding--when I said that the question you posed was tedious, I was NOT referring to you or our work together! I do not want another guide--you are the man for me. What I meant was, given all that you have made it possible for me to see clearly, some of the questions seem mute. That is not a reflection on you, rather your success. If you leave me now I'll be forced to fly to Australia, track you down, and sit on your front stoop until you change your mind.

Have you ever experienced the recognition of this as you were about to buy something that attracted you, and decided not to follow through with the purchase ?

More often than I would ever believe! My feeling these days is less, and less and less--not more. This changed happened during my initial recovery from Lyme. There was just a big shift in priorities.

I take full responsibility for my actions and full credit for my success.

and can you see that both the responsibility and credit are stories ?

Yes, indeed I do. I even see that the idea to go to college at all was not mine. I just started listening to the little voice.

It's not tedious for me. i enjoy puzzles, and boy are you a puzzle.
You SEE everything so clearly, except that you SEE..

I would have to look back in our conversations to be sure, but I do believe I told you from day one that I would be a big pain in the ass.....I'm good to my word!

Stick with me,

Moomon

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Moo,

correct one misunderstanding--when I said that the question you posed was tedious, I was NOT referring to you or our work together! I do not want another guide--you are the man for me.

Oh, good. i did get it wrong.

Stick with me,

No problems. i will.
Ok, do this exercise; After reading the instructions..
Close your eyes and play out the scenario that you are enlightened. Don't worry about accuracy or the finer details, just imagine that it happened. As you do this, watch what feelings and sensations arise. Additional to this, note what stories happen.
i am particularly interested if any fear or anxiety occurs.
Report what happened.

love

vince

[moomon]

Hello Vince,

Ok, do this exercise; After reading the instructions..
Close your eyes and play out the scenario that you are enlightened. Don't worry about accuracy or the finer details, just imagine that it happened. As you do this, watch what feelings and sensations arise. Additional to this, note what stories happen. i am particularly interested if any fear or anxiety occurs.Report what happened.

okay, so I am spontaneously awakened. My head feels light, floaty. I feel a little adrenaline rush. A lot of stories arise, based on years of reading and lectures: things in my line of vision appear transparent at first. I feel calmer, happier. I have all the right answers and have no fear or doubts about how the rest of my life is going to go. No one who ever "got" to me before is able to rattle me now. I feel the flow that everyone talks about. I'm more patient. My eyes are (for some reason) a lighter hue. Oh, and I'm always in the woods when it happens.

I do not feel any anxiety or fear.

Enjoy your day,

Moomon

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Moo,

things in my line of vision appear transparent at first. I feel calmer, happier. I have all the right answers and have no fear or doubts about how the rest of my life is going to go. No one who ever "got" to me before is able to rattle me now. I feel the flow that everyone talks about. I'm more patient.

Ok, good story. Accurate, but incomplete. Let's add (from my experience) Anger explodes occasionally, but is gone again in seconds. Laughter happens.
Compassion flows for those previously seen as idiots. Forgiveness towards 'self' happens when seeing opinions about others. Laughter happens. Emotions unbridled. (take grandson to see a kids movie and cries all the way thought it - and it's a comedy - Shaun the sheep) Happily sick and in discomfort. Healing happens quickly. Forget 3 days ago - too much happening now to be concerned. Last year, it was (as if) someone else. Not me. Happy to be insulted. Welcome the chance to see ego respond. Laughing happens. Haven't read a book since 2011 - tried to give a way about 120 spiritual books. Ended up dumping them. ..and more. Can't be bothered hunting for them. ..but you get the gist (i imagine)
Nothing has changed, but everything is different.

I do not feel any anxiety or fear.

Bummer. So what did you feel ? (apart from the little adrenaline rush - presumably of anticipation.

love

vince

[moomon]

H Vince,[

Ok, good story. Accurate, but incomplete.

Yes, well, it's is just a story. I try very hard not to have any expectations--unrealistic or otherwise.I have no way of knowing if it's accurate!

Compassion flows for those previously seen as idiots.

That in itself is beyond value!

Laughter happens. Emotions unbridled. (take grandson to see a kids movie and cries all the way thought it - and it's a comedy - Shaun the sheep)

I always cry during the kid's movies too; the story lines seem to be better with their movies than the so-called adult movies these days.I can't think of a single PIXl flick that didn't make me cry.

Happily sick and in discomfort. Healing happens quickly.

That's the kind of thing I try not to be unrealistic about. Given my illness, I don't want to convince myself of any stories of spontaneous healing. Better to accept what is and learn to be happy in spite of it--not create stories around it.

Forget 3 days ago - too much happening now to be concerned. Last year, it was (as if) someone else. Not me.

With Lyme you don't have much short term memory, so I can agree with you there, it's kind of a blessing. No residual issues!

Happy to be insulted. Welcome the chance to see ego respond.

Don't you think you hit a certain age and you just stop caring anyway? Once I reached 40 I pretty much just let that kind of stuff roll off me, especially from family. It was a turning point in my life.

Laughing happens. Haven't read a book since 2011 - tried to give a way about 120 spiritual books. Ended up dumping them. ..and more. Can't be bothered hunting for them. ..but you get the gist (i imagine)

As a librarian that pains me.....But I'll forgive you because I don't know what kind of donation services you have where you are. I do certainly understand the concept of dumping. I've let go of darn near everything at this point. Everything! If I don't need it to cook, garden, or paint--out it goes; it's like lifting a weight.

Nothing has changed, but everything is different.

You changed. Your perception is different. No you!

I do not feel any anxiety or fear.

Bummer. So what did you feel ? (apart from the little adrenaline rush - presumably of anticipation.

Just calmness, quiet. Why is there supposed to be fear? Is that the "I" resisting?

Love,

Moomon

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Moo,

I try very hard not to have any expectations

Instead of trying hard not to have them. Have the intention to Recognize when they appear. (celebrate the recognition when this happens) ..and recognize the stories that underpin them. Not only where they come from, but how they reflect your hopes and desires.

Better to accept what is and learn to be happy in spite of it--not create stories around it.

Oh absolutely. i was describing experiences. ..although because it has happened several times the stories develop the it will also happen next time. (expectations)

Don't you think you hit a certain age and you just stop caring anyway?

Yes, it could be that is what is behind this, although i see a lot of people that are this age and still don't 'get it'.

No you!

Ha, there never was a me. i suppose the recognition of it is a change.

Why is there supposed to be fear?

There often is. But usually in those that experience a big change with this stuff. Those like us that have got most of that stuff out of the road before hand. Not so.
i was looking for something that we could break, to get you to see what you already are.
i guess that we'll keep looking.

love

vince

[moomon]

Hi Vince,

I had a weird experience yesterday. So weird, I could hardly wait until I could talk to you about it! I spent the whole day like a boiling pot of water; arguments and conflicts from up to 30 years ago were all bubbling to the surface of my mind. Fights I've had so long ago with people I haven't seen in decades all came into view suddenly. So, I spent the day walking around the house having arguments with ghosts, so-to-speak. By midnight I finally realized what had been happening and that I was allowing myself to get emotionally snagged by every old argument. I lay in bed, trying to see if I could just observe instead of getting involved (only a little success), until I finally fell asleep.

I will answer your most recent post later, but I wanted to get your reaction to this first. Was this a "thing", or am I just losing my mind?

Thanks,

Moomon

[vinceschubert]

'morning Moo,

Was this a "thing",

Story here is that that old stuff was being released. (purged) Like 'muscle memory', our experiences can get stored for later processing, if they are overwhelming (or unsatisfactory) at the time. Especially kid's stuff, that we don't have the tools to handle, when it comes up in more mature times is seen with a totally different perspective, and is dismissed easily.
i'm interested if compassion flowed towards those that you were arguing with, and/or yourself ?

love

vince

[moomon]

'morning Moo,

Was this a "thing",

Story here is that that old stuff was being released. (purged) Like 'muscle memory', our experiences can get stored for later processing, if they are overwhelming (or unsatisfactory) at the time. Especially kid's stuff, that we don't have the tools to handle, when it comes up in more mature times is seen with a totally different perspective, and is dismissed easily.
i'm interested if compassion flowed towards those that you were arguing with, and/or yourself ?

love

vince

Hi Vince,

No, no compassion for anyone here; just felt like I was kind of being thrown back into old conversations.

[moomon]

Morning, Vince,

What a week! So much snow and soooo cooold! I think my dominant snow-shoveling arm is going to grow bigger than my other arm if this doesn't let up pretty soon.

Instead of trying hard not to have them. Have the intention to Recognize when they appear. (celebrate the recognition when this happens) ..and recognize the stories that underpin them. Not only where they come from, but how they reflect your hopes and desires.

I can do that....

Better to accept what is and learn to be happy in spite of it--not create stories around it.

Oh absolutely. i was describing experiences. ..although because it has happened several times the stories develop the it will also happen next time. (expectations)

Ahhh, I understand now. Thanks.

Don't you think you hit a certain age and you just stop caring anyway?

Yes, it could be that is what is behind this, although i see a lot of people that are this age and still don't 'get it'.

True. Most people I know spend their whole lives looking outside themselves for validation. I'm seen as weird or excentric because I do not. I think sometimes what we "see" or understand about life creates a separation between us and "them". It's unfortunate. I went to a lot of trouble to meet the "standards" of the general population in this country, only to discover that none of it brought me happiness. Lesson learned! Not doing that any more.

Why is there supposed to be fear?

There often is. But usually in those that experience a big change with this stuff. Those like us that have got most of that stuff out of the road before hand. Not so.i was looking for something that we could break, to get you to see what you already are. i guess that we'll keep looking.

I'm sorry nothing about me is easy.

TGIF!

Moomon

[vinceschubert]

Good day Moo,

and soooo cooold!

Ha, send some here. We are into another 45ºC day here.

I went to a lot of trouble to meet the "standards" of the general population in this country,

Yes, me too.

I'm sorry

No need for this.

nothing about me is easy.

Do you identify as a difficult person ?

love

vince

[moomon]

Hi Vince,

nothing about me is easy.

Do you identify as a difficult person ?

I don't see myself as such, however, I have been identified by others difficult, eccentric, unusual, "a handful", --I think you get the idea.

Love,

Moomon

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Moo,

I don't see myself as such,

How do you see yourself ?

love

vince

[moomon]

Hi Vince,

Good evening Moo,

I don't see myself as such,

How do you see yourself ?
I don't see myself. "I" don't exist, and therefore cannot be seen.

love,

Moomon

[vinceschubert]

(smart ass) Ok, what characteristics would you attribute to the organism that i call Moo ?