The Gate

Just to share the looking Kay, it feels like the looking energy has been there mostly when its been unclear how to look..so it was wasted..and often now there's not so much energy or it seems easily distracted. spending time this morning to look at the direct experience there is no face or head. there's flashes of memory or imagination that show snapshots of a face or head or lips or eyes, but in direct experience there is definitely no face or head or facial features in actual experience. only the memory of a face and what it might look like...a belief/imagined face/thought.

Staying with the direct experience...and then the hand might move and there's a flash of a figure scratching..but in actual experience thats never possible. only in a reflection..where the body and head is seen like that. How funny that its never that way in actual experience, and yet that flash gets so much attention...its going on all the time. a sensation becomes the label lips which becomes a flash/image of a face and lips.

looking at that flash..its never attached to an actual self..the flash is just a picture of a body

Hey Shelly,

You seem to be more relaxed with this all now. You’re LOOKING is awesome! Thank you for being so diligent in LOOKING.

there's sensation. colour/image and thought. they all seem to be there together...like if the focus shifts to the breathing the thought says i am breathing...as if breathing only just started with the thought'I am breathing' {I am doing it} but that's not really true. I'll spend more time looking into this and get back later.

Yes…great insight!

Just to share the looking Kay, it feels like the looking energy has been there mostly when its been unclear how to look..so it was wasted..and often now there's not so much energy or it seems easily distracted. spending time this morning to look at the direct experience there is no face or head. there's flashes of memory or imagination that show snapshots of a face or head or lips or eyes, but in direct experience there is definitely no face or head or facial features in actual experience. only the memory of a face and what it might look like...a belief/imagined face/thought.

Yes! :)

Staying with the direct experience...and then the hand might move and there's a flash of a figure scratching..but in actual experience thats never possible. only in a reflection..where the body and head is seen like that. How funny that its never that way in actual experience, and yet that flash gets so much attention...its going on all the time. a sensation becomes the label lips which becomes a flash/image of a face and lips.

looking at that flash..its never attached to an actual self..the flash is just a picture of a body

Wow! Awesome looking and awesome discovery!

Investigate ‘decision making’ whatever ‘you’ do today

Describe in detail a decision of a small event, for example getting up.

Can a decision maker be found making the body leave the bed?
Where does the ‘decision’, the ‘command’ to get up come from?
What makes the body get up, is there a ‘you’, or a decider that commands the body?
When lying there, shout 'GET UP' internally as loudly as you can. Does that affect the outcome?

How does the decision happen?
Does a decider come in and take over, weighing pros and cons, looking at possible consequences?
Or does getting up just happen, or not?


Think of a number between 1 and 100. Got it? Now tell me:
How did the decision happen which number to choose?
Or did a number simply come as a thought?
How exactly did that work?

Love, Kay

Investigate ‘decision making’ whatever ‘you’ do today

Describe in detail a decision of a small event, for example getting up.

Can a decision maker be found making the body leave the bed?

no.

Where does the ‘decision’, the ‘command’ to get up come from?

its a thought

What makes the body get up, is there a ‘you’, or a decider that commands the body?

the body moves when it moves without a director. A narration gets added on top of that movement and claims it as 'I'm going to get up'.

When lying there, shout 'GET UP' internally as loudly as you can. Does that affect the outcome?

No. the body just lays there

How does the decision happen?

there is no decision. the body moves spontaneously and a thought labelled 'I'm up'

Does a decider come in and take over, weighing pros and cons, looking at possible consequences?

no. the movement is instant so there's no time for possible consequences.
sometimes it feels like there is a building of energy and then the movement happens but there's no decider in actual experience deciding when to move.

Or does getting up just happen, or not?

The thought 'get up' or 'stay in bed' doesn't make getting up happen. the body gets up or stays in bed regardless of what thought says should be happening that's true

Think of a number between 1 and 100. Got it? Now tell me:
How did the decision happen which number to choose?
Or did a number simply come as a thought?

yes the number came as a thought

How exactly did that work?

it was like a flash picture/ mental image of the number 5

Many Thanks Kay. Shelly

Hi Shelly,

Such wonderful clarity with your last post!
So is it clear that there is no controller, decision maker or chooser?

Let's move on to the body.

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes (or more if desired).

Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:
Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?

In actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside, the outside of what exactly?

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc.) before replying.

Love, Kay

Hi Kay.Thanks for the message apologies I haven't got enough time to respond properly tonight. Back in the morning. Much love and thanks Shelly X

So is it clear that there is no controller, decision maker or chooser?

looking in actual experience there is no controller, no decision maker or chooser that is true

Let's move on to the body.

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes (or more if desired).

Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is?

no

Does the body have a weight or volume?

no

In actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

no. with eyes closed there's sensation. with eyes open there is sensation +colours

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?

the clothes and the body.the body and the seat, the skin and the breeze=one experience with no edge or boundary

Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

no. its one experience as in one sensation. not a bum sensation and a chair sensation. there's no way to tell where the bottom ends and the chair begins.

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - inside of what exactly?

I cant find an inside or an outside.

If there is an outside, the outside of what exactly?

there is no outside in actual experience because there's no boundary that separates anything from anything. like the bottom and the chair are not two separate sensations

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?

colour/image

What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

sensation+colour/image.

many thanks shelly

In actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?


no. with eyes closed there's sensation. with eyes open there is sensation +colours

correction there's colour with eyes closed too

back later shelly

Hi Shelly,

Excellent LOOKING! :)

So is it clear that there is no controller, decision maker or chooser?

looking in actual experience there is no controller, no decision maker or chooser that is true

Great!

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?

the clothes and the body.the body and the seat, the skin and the breeze=one experience with no edge or boundary

Nice!

Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

no. its one experience as in one sensation. not a bum sensation and a chair sensation. there's no way to tell where the bottom ends and the chair begins.

Yes!

If there is an outside, the outside of what exactly?

there is no outside in actual experience because there's no boundary that separates anything from anything. like the bottom and the chair are not two separate sensations

Nice!

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?

colour/image

Yes….plus label/thought

What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

sensation+colour/image.

Yes, so there is no actual experience of the body, what is actually appearing is sensation+colour/image+label/thought.
This is clear?

Almost everybody believes that a memory thought is referring to something that has happened.
That a memory thought is a different thought than a non-memory thought.

What is memory exactly? – please don’t go to thought explanation, but just let a memory be there, and look at it…

What is the memory ‘made of’?
WHEN does the memory appear?

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘memory’ thought?

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘memory’ thought refers to something that has happened?

Then, look at a thought about the future.
What is the future thought ‘made of’?

WHEN does the future thought appear?

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘future’ thought?
How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?

Then let’s compare a thought about past and a thought about the future.
What is the EXACT difference between the thoughts about past and future?
If there is difference, how that difference is known exactly?


Look at what is actually going on and not what thoughts say… but what actually is.

Love, Kay

so there is no actual experience of the body, what is actually appearing is sensation+colour/image+label/thought.
This is clear?

its clearer, not sure about clear 100%.

Almost everybody believes that a memory thought is referring to something that has happened.
That a memory thought is a different thought than a non-memory thought.

What is memory exactly? – please don’t go to thought explanation, but just let a memory be there, and look at it…

What is the memory ‘made of’?

thought+sensation+colours/image

WHEN does the memory appear?

it just appears out of the blue

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘memory’ thought?

Does a general thought mean a thought that is practical? ie; 'this screwdriver might be the right size', or two eggs adding milk and butter. {that kind of thought?}

if so the difference is the identification, as with the general thoughts, they arent about a self, their about task solving, focused on the screwdriver or baking but not as a self with a me story running.

or if general thought means fantasies and worries and worse case scenarios etc then there's no difference in that and memory thoughts, they both have a sense of self attached and story that goes with it and sensations, there's no difference I can see.

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘memory’ thought refers to something that has happened?

it's a thought that says 'that's me and my dad' so its a thought that says 'something happened' too...how is it known exactly...that a memory thought refers to something that has happened...by the labels{thought}

Then, look at a thought about the future.
What is the future thought ‘made of’?

thought+image+sensation+maybe sound

WHEN does the future thought appear?

it appears in the present

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘future’ thought?

the same as for the memory thoughts above -either no difference if the general are general scenarios and fantasies and what ifs but if general is task related thoughts for work then the difference is the future is about 'me' where as the general thought is about the task and has no me thought with it

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?

its not really known. its a thought/story/movie playing

Then let’s compare a thought about past and a thought about the future.
What is the EXACT difference between the thoughts about past and future?

there's no difference

If there is difference, how that difference is known exactly?

by a label{thought} the idea that there is difference

many thanks shelly

Hi Shelly,

so there is no actual experience of the body, what is actually appearing is sensation+colour/image+label/thought.
This is clear?

its clearer, not sure about clear 100%.

Every day, just keep LOOKING throughout your day as you go about your day.

What is the memory ‘made of’?

thought+sensation+colours/image

Yes, nice :)

WHEN does the memory appear?

it just appears out of the blue

It is appearing ‘now’….in the so called ‘present moment’.

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘memory’ thought?

Does a general thought mean a thought that is practical? ie; 'this screwdriver might be the right size', or two eggs adding milk and butter. {that kind of thought?}
if so the difference is the identification, as with the general thoughts, they arent about a self, their about task solving, focused on the screwdriver or baking but not as a self with a me story running.
or if general thought means fantasies and worries and worse case scenarios etc then there's no difference in that and memory thoughts, they both have a sense of self attached and story that goes with it and sensations, there's no difference I can see.

A thought is a thought whether it is labelled a worrying thought, a ‘what if thought’, a clever thought, a stupid thought, a practical thought…they are still all just thoughts. There is no hierarchy in thoughts. It is only a thought that says another thought is more important than another!

So a general day to day thought is no different from a ‘memory’ thought, they are just thought.

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘memory’ thought refers to something that has happened?

it's a thought that says 'that's me and my dad' so its a thought that says 'something happened' too...how is it known exactly...that a memory thought refers to something that has happened...by the labels{thought}

Yes, it is a thought that says a thought/image/sensation/sound etc points to something that has happened. Since experience is always ‘current’, where is the proof that something happened a minute ago, an hour ago, a day ago, a year ago etc?

Then, look at a thought about the future.
What is the future thought ‘made of’?

thought+image+sensation+maybe sound

It is a thought that says what is appearing now will appear in the future at a future date.

WHEN does the future thought appear?

it appears in the present

Yes

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘future’ thought?

the same as for the memory thoughts above -either no difference if the general are general scenarios and fantasies and what ifs but if general is task related thoughts for work then the difference is the future is about 'me' where as the general thought is about the task and has no me thought with it

There is no difference between thoughts, whether they refer to a ‘me’ thought or a so called task. Thoughts are just thoughts and what is labelled as a ‘future’ thought is actually occurring ‘now’.

How is it known EXACTLY that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?

its not really known. its a thought/story/movie playing

Yes. It is only a thought that says something will happen in the future.
What is the AE of ‘future’?
The label ‘future’ is the AE of thought and not the AE of a future time.

Then let’s compare a thought about past and a thought about the future.
What is the EXACT difference between the thoughts about past and future?

there's no difference

Yes, they are both made up of thought

If there is difference, how that difference is known exactly?

by a label{thought} the idea that there is difference

Yes, exactly!

Any questions about ‘memory’?

Love, Kay

Thanks Kay. No questions coming up at the moment with memory.Its interesting doing these exercises then seeing it playing out during the day..not always that seeing too when a lot of fast paced stuff seems to be happening Its a busy time over the next few days so apologies if I may not get on til late or the following day. Will be back to daily replies after the weekend if okay. much love and thanks shelly

Hi Shelly,

No questions coming up at the moment with memory.Its interesting doing these exercises then seeing it playing out during the day..not always that seeing too when a lot of fast paced stuff seems to be happening Its a busy time over the next few days so apologies if I may not get on til late or the following day. Will be back to daily replies after the weekend if okay.

Thanks for letting me know!

There is a general assumption that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time or an event that is moving forward on this linear time, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But is there an experience that the 'now' is moving along the line of time?

How fast is the 'present moment' actually moving?

How long does the 'now' last?

Where does it start and where does it end?

When does the now exactly become the 'past''?

What is the 'past' in actual experience?

Love, Kay

There is a general assumption that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time or an event that is moving forward on this linear time, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But is there an experience that the 'now' is moving along the line of time?

no

How fast is the 'present moment' actually moving?

it doesnt seem to be moving at all..although everything is in motion in some way

How long does the 'now' last?

its always now

Where does it start and where does it end?

it doesn't seem to have a start or end point.

When does the now exactly become the 'past''?

oh yeah it never does!

What is the 'past' in actual experience?

thought+sensation

Apologies for the lack of working quotes I'm using a mobile with a small screen and poor responding facilities. many thanks Shelly

HI Shelly,

Apologies for the lack of working quotes I'm using a mobile with a small screen and poor responding facilities.

No problem...I fixed them up so that they could be read more easily :)

I have no further questions with regards 'time'. Nice LOOKING! :)

Thank you for being so diligent in looking and answering questions. Just a few more before the final confirmation questions.

Has it been clearly seen that there is no separate individual (“I/me”), and never has been?
Has it been clearly seen that there has never been a separate individual that could control or own life or anything?
Is there any chooser or decider of any kind?
Is there a separate individual/entity of any kind whatsoever that could be responsible for anything at all?
Is there a separate entity that started this investigation?
Has there ever been a separate self doing anything?
Is there any confusion at all or anything you would like to address?

Love, Kay

Is there any confusion at all or anything you would like to address?

There are thoughts saying' its not clear'..'something needs to pop for it to be over'. But looking in actual experience shows that to be just another passing thought. So yes its clear..but these thoughts\sensations dont say it is. There was an expectation that the I thoughts would have to stop then it could be 'clear' but they continue saying what they say and feeling like they feel. There was waiting for that to end. So that doesnt end..thats all the so called self ever is..a thought/sensation with nothing solid behind it. There is a strong thought/sense that clear should be something that will happen and be a shock. theres been no shock yet..etc. But I know thats thought so its clear thats thought and its clear but theres no aha or click..or maybe its not clear and this is a very sly thought still weaving a finer thread .

what is saying there should be a click? a thought. There should be no more attraction/belief for thought. There is still attraction..there shouldnt be. clear would mean never having any more stickiness etc. Thanks for fixing up the quotes and for all the help with guiding. Shelly