Mindfulness,Meditation,and True Nature - Adam51387

[Sarah7]

And belief is....,...?

So, challenge thought by experiencing the moment and look. Get curious. Notice what arises. It's all a wonder. Ever changing. Never known regardless of what thought says! Explore this unknowing ness. Just watch, notice and look. See where the dust tries to stick (thought) and question!
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Adam51387]

What about the knowing that somebody will cancel plans, intuition?

Why do people get validation through actions?(exercise makes me feel good, work makes me feel good,etc) isnt that believing you are defined by your action, which isnt really "your" action?
Why do some addicts feel they need to go to aa meetings to stay clean? cant you stay clean by not believing you have to use, if you can just accept your thoughts and feelings, but not believe them or identify with them?

[Adam51387]

And i mean while your already in sobriety, i am not talking about while actively using, thats easier said than done.

[Sarah7]

Hey Adam

What about the knowing that somebody will cancel plans, intuition? Why do people get validation through actions?(exercise makes me feel good, work makes me feel good,etc) isnt that believing you are defined by your action, which isnt really "your" action? Why do some addicts feel they need to go to aa meetings to stay clean? cant you stay clean by not believing you have to use, if you can just accept your thoughts and feelings, but not believe them or identify with them?

Well – preferences are there. But did you chose them? Did you chose to love, do you chose to like tea over coffee or whatever?

OK – think of a radio. The radio doesn’t have any idea what song is going to come out of it. No song is permanent and songs are constantly changing. Is that which notices bothered what song comes out of that radio? Whether it be a happy song or a sad one? Each song is an experience – one, seeming to be intuition, one being a validation, one an AA meeting, one a re-identification etc. None permanent, all ever changing, none predictable. Each song being unique. Now go look. Do you see?

Can you just accept your thoughts? Can you force yourself to accept anything? Who or what is accepting?

Is there a need to be able to know? Is that thought wanting again?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Adam51387]

Hi Sarah, sorry, went off on a tangent there yesterday, i will add something later

Xxxx

[Adam51387]

Hi Sarah, excellent post :)

Was just sitting the other day at the train station, listening to music, and this overwhelming pleasant emotion came over me, and i sort of just sat there smiling, like a weirdo. And i noticed how awesome the power of emotion is to shape direct experience, its like jumping to a scene in a movie, nothing has changed in terms of sensory input, same seeing, hearing is there, i didnt go anywhere, but simply by the changing of emotion this layering of emotion, can suddenly put a new twist on the experience as if you where some where else, no longer in a bleak dirty train station. And i noticed i had no control over this emotion, it came, it lit up my experience, and then slowly, it faded, like the dimming of a light, and i had gone no where but suddenly felt as though the envirenment changed. I wanted to grasp at it, to cling to it, and then i realized its not mine to cling too, that im kind of just watching tv, and i have no control over when the program ends...and that even if something less euphoric comes on, theres still plenty to explore there, and too calm down. It was beautiful.

I can accept my thoughts, sometimes i cant, i cant force it (acceptance) because that becomes another thought. There can be awareness of the nonacceptance, and acceptance of that and thats the best i can do with something like that. But i dont actually control what i do and do not accept.

Yes, it is all thought wanting to make explanations of things.

Love

[Sarah7]

Beautiful Adam. Keep noticing the radio and its songs!

Check session! Can you answer in as much detail as you feel is needed. Thanks :)

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life?
Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.
Anything to add? Are you done? Anymore questions?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Adam51387]

Good evening.

Is thought and emotion not truth?
Is the only truth what you taste,feel,hear,see?

When there is no control, thoughts try to prove there is, and this evening they proved there isnt, i was sitting meditating, and i thought, why cant i prove i have control by breaking my mesitation right now and getting up and walking to the corner of the room, then another thought said, what would be the point of that, "I" want to meditate. Then thought said the point is to prove "i" have control. Then thought said, but you would just sit back down again, its pointless. It was very silly, but through this inquiry i believe i gained an insight into the nature of reality, I noticed this whole time i wrestled with this, i actually never got up, "I" thought "i" planned to get up. But I never did, when awareness sits on a thought long enough, or a plan, it may actually come to fruition, but you have absolutely no control over where or how long awareness abides, there is no you. It might happen through you, you might take credit for it, but that is an illusion, it was going to happen anyway, because it did.

I feel more in touch with awareness for lack of better words. Nothing has changed but perspective. experience is always changing, and now the way this awareness experiences has changed, thats where thoughts get frustrated, they like those moments when it is clear in an instant that there is no me doing this, when it just watches, the mind is filled with wonder, when it watches physical sensation happening through the body, and the thoughts know this awareness is not the body, this awareness is not the personality that functions, that awareness is not the thoughts that go on, when the repeating illusion of self is peeled away in one instant of understanding, mostly what is left is a sense of wonder or bewilderment, its a pleasant experience.

but the illusion comes back, it may be necessary to function properly, i dont know, but i know that with a bit of looking at "this" now, i can realize again and again this truth of no self, like jumping up to peak over a fence and see all of whats out there.

ill add more tomorrow. Goodnight.
love

[Sarah7]

Hey Adam

Is thought and emotion not truth?

What does truth mean? Is truth something? Or is it that which notices? Is the mirror bothered by thought, thought content or emotion? Or are they just reflections?
Is thought experienced? Yes or no? Is the content reliable? Is the content experienced? Is it truth?
Is emotion experienced? Yes or no? Is it reliable? Is it truth?

Is the only truth what you taste,feel,hear,see?

Is this thought wanting a nice definable answer again? Is this more wanting? What else can you know other than what is experienced?

I feel more in touch with awareness for lack of better words. Nothing has changed but perspective. experience is always changing, and now the way this awareness experiences has changed, thats where thoughts get frustrated, they like those moments when it is clear in an instant that there is no me doing this, when it just watches, the mind is filled with wonder, when it watches physical sensation happening through the body, and the thoughts know this awareness is not the body, this awareness is not the personality that functions, that awareness is not the thoughts that go on, when the repeating illusion of self is peeled away in one instant of understanding, mostly what is left is a sense of wonder or bewilderment, its a pleasant experience.

What do you want Adam? Do you know? All your seeking, searching, knowledge and learning – what has it achieved? If the answer was there wouldn’t you have found it by now?????
I want you to see how often you go to thought first. Give me a rough percentage through your day.
Thought doesn’t watch! That implies thought thinks – does it? Thought is seen by that which notices – go verify that please!
This all reads like thought wanting something other than what is? What else is there? Can you change what is? What would want to change what is? LOL.

but the illusion comes back, it may be necessary to function properly, i dont know, but i know that with a bit of looking at "this" now, i can realize again and again this truth of no self, like jumping up to peak over a fence and see all of whats out there.

What is ever permanent? What would want something neatly packaged, permanent and controllable? The mirror or the reflection? The radio or the song? Illusion is one song, clarity is another. The radio doesn’t have any idea what song is going to come out of it. No song is permanent and songs are constantly changing. Is that which notices bothered what song comes out of that radio? Whether it be a happy song or a sad one? Each song is an experience – one, seeming to be intuition, one being a validation, one an AA meeting, one a re-identification etc. None permanent, all ever changing, none predictable. Each song being unique. Now go look. Do you see?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Adam51387]

Thought and emotion are experienced but the content is never based off 100% accuracy of reality.

I never said thought was awareness, i made it clear that it was thoughts thinking they can control. I also said to you before that i realized thoughts dont think, how could a thought think if it comes from no where and vanishes? Maybe im way off about all this and missing the point. Its very hard to convey through typing.

[Adam51387]

I,ve already concluded that awareness has no preference, it has no personality, or thought, these things happen within awareness but are not awareness in and of its self.

[Sarah7]

Hi Adam
Have a good look and make a list. What are you waiting for? What are you hoping for? What are you looking for really? What do you WANT? What you do not want?
Make a list and bring up all that may be hiding in the shadows of hope. Dig and leave no stone unturned!
Hugs Sarah xxx

[Adam51387]

Dammit Sarah tgat sounds like a lotta work!
What does it matter what thought wants and doesnt want, thats not what awareness is, it doesnt want anything!
Ill get started this weekend

Xxxx

[Sarah7]

OK :)
S xx

[Adam51387]

Sarah, do you mean make a list of what i want out of life in general, or a list of what i hope to gain out of this process here on liberation unleashed?
Love, Adam