Requesting a guide!

[lmellen]

Hi Sarah,

It seems; as you always have said; be intimate with all the sensations, feelings and
watch the body like "a cat watching a mouse hole." Will keep doing this!

So is this being used in order to change what is?

No, you said I should see thought/fantasy passing by without paying attention to the content.
I have trouble doing this, I keep getting caught up in the content. I will admit I get annoyed if I go shopping or whatever and spend the whole time on autopilot instead of seeing. You can't watch a mouse hole on autopilot. I'm not trying to change what is, just want to see clearly. I do see the annoyance.


Thanks for the reply -- Larry

[Sarah7]

Morning Larry
No, you said I should see thought/fantasy passing by without paying attention to the content.
I have trouble doing this, I keep getting caught up in the content. I will admit I get annoyed if I go shopping or whatever and spend the whole time on autopilot instead of seeing. You can't watch a mouse hole on autopilot. I'm not trying to change what is, just want to see clearly. I do see the annoyance.

But you do see yourself getting caught up! Smile! You saw it! Doesn't matter when!

If the annoyance arises see it for what it is, just an emotion passing through. Look for the one who is annoyed - can you find that one?

Autopilot does not mean seeing doesn't happen! Check this yourself - seeing happens all the time!
Big hugs Sarah xxxx

[lmellen]

Hi Sarah,

Look for the one who is annoyed - can you find that one?

I'll start looking, but I doubt if there will be anything to find.

Autopilot does not mean seeing doesn't happen! Check this yourself - seeing happens all the time!

This is strange, seeing is happening, but the awareness seems to be dulled or limited. I have to look at this; but once I look I'm not on autopilot anymore.

Sarah, there is something else I hear all the time that I'm still missing. When doing the 2 finger, D.Harding exercise, some people report that the finger that is pointing to the source of the seeing see a vast space. All I see is what the other finger is pointing to. Where is this vast space?

Thanks Sarah--Larryxxx

[Sarah7]

Hi Larry

I'll start looking, but I doubt if there will be anything to find.

So what or who is there to worry about if annoyance happens? Do you see it move - as with all else? Its just another reflection in the mirror.

Sarah, there is something else I hear all the time that I'm still missing. When doing the 2 finger, D.Harding exercise, some people report that the finger that is pointing to the source of the seeing see a vast space. All I see is what the other finger is pointing to. Where is this vast space?

Couple of things here Larry –
First – ‘Im still missing’!!!!! What are you missing? Who is missing? What is missing? Nothing! Story and thoughts always want MORE than this! You know this! See this! Expectation again! I want what he talks about!!!!! LOL!
Second - Where isn’t it – this vast space? What does all this arise in?
If the thoughts are quiet – do you feel it then? Do I remember correctly you play an instrument? Can you feel it then, when you play? Have a look. Or go sit outside and watch – watch energy move. Watch the ebb and flow of EVERYTHING! Including this feeling of ‘you’ and including thoughts.
Big Hugs Sarah xxx

[lmellen]

Hi Sarah,

What is coming next? Everything you've pointed to is being seen. It might not be there all the time, but a little DE and it's there, never very far away. I keep thinking I'm supposed to be in some kind of super enlightened state by now, but you took care of that problem! Too much reading and comparison on my part!
I want to start the book you recommended. Do you want to comment on the exercises and respond to what I see, or should I do it on my own?

Thanks Sarah -- Larry

[Sarah7]

Hi Larry

Everything you've pointed to is being seen. It might not be there all the time, but a little DE and it's there, never very far away. I keep thinking I'm supposed to be in some kind of super enlightened state by now, but you took care of that problem! Too much reading and comparison on my part!

Just see the ebb and flow of everything Larry – the ebb and flow of thinking, of thoughts, of feelings and emotions, of seeming identification of seeing etc……...
Do you notice/see that comparison is just story?

I want to start the book you recommended. Do you want to comment on the exercises and respond to what I see, or should I do it on my own?

Im fine with whatever you want to do. So here you want to look at the body and are you the body – yes?
When there are no more questions and/or you feel sure we can look at some final questions. Until then – Im here. OK.
Big hugs Sarah xxx

[lmellen]

Hi Sarah,

Not sure if I want the questions yet, but getting close.

I was in one of my off moods today, just kept thinking and thinking and thinking. What do I want to do? (choice again) Finally I walked out on to the balcony and almost immediately DE started and no self/non separation was there. Bingo, end of problem.(end of choice) Problem is I'm constantly comparing LU's,or your teaching of no self/seeing clearly to all the stuff I've been reading for the past 40 years. I have a head full of bullshit. You're correct, the bullshit isn't. I've heard a lot of teachers comment that "You don't have the faintest idea what enlightenment is like". This is also true. It's actually much simpler than what I expected.

I'm fine with whatever you want to do. So here you want to look at the body and are you the body – yes?

Thought says I'm not the body. DE doesn't know, there is just the body.

Sarah, that book is going to take a long time. I have a copy of the "Chariot"; only 7 parts to that. We can substitute body for chariot.

Thanks Sarah -- Larryxxx

[Sarah7]

Hi Larry

I was in one of my off moods today, just kept thinking and thinking and thinking.

LOL. Ebb and flow Larry. Ebb and flow. Who or what is there to resist!

What do I want to do? (choice again) Finally I walked out on to the balcony and almost immediately DE started and no self/non separation was there. Bingo, end of problem.(end of choice) Problem is I'm constantly comparing LU's,or your teaching of no self/seeing clearly to all the stuff I've been reading for the past 40 years. I have a head full of bullshit. You're correct, the bullshit isn't. I've heard a lot of teachers comment that "You don't have the faintest idea what enlightenment is like". This is also true. It's actually much simpler than what I expected.

Is the choice here full of want? Thoughts waning you to 'do' something? Have a look.
It is so simply – you were already it! Ask yourself how is reading all that stuff working out for you? Did the 40yrs worth work? Enlightenment is just another label with LARGE amounts of story added for good measure! Nothing wrong with having a head full of bullshit – as long as that is seen! Its just story – like everything else! Thoughts will do ANYTHING in order for you to NOT look. They will distract you with this promise and that delight etc. Always distracting with out there. See this yourself! The answer is right in front of you Larry! Can the story be dropped? You have carried 40yrs of looking around for so long! Are you willing to see it for that? Is the story yours? Do you own it? Does the story actually point to anyone?

Thought says I'm not the body. DE doesn't know, there is just the body.

Is there? Or is there just seeing? Labels separate seeing – but is this actually experienced? Check again.

Sarah, that book is going to take a long time. I have a copy of the "Chariot"; only 7 parts to that. We can substitute body for chariot.

I don’t know what the chariot is Larry – is it another book? You don’t need books - even the one I suggested! Just look!
Big hugs Sarah xxx

[lmellen]

Can the story be dropped? You have carried 40yrs. of looking around for so long! Are you willing to see it for that?

Sarah. I spent a couple of years trying to drop the bullshit. K’s question “Can this body/mind empty itself of the past?”. I couldn't hold on to it. It needed constant questioning. I know damn well it’s bullshit, but what, who, how to drop it. If “I could just drop it”, “I” would gladly do so.

[lmellen]

Hi Sarah,

I hit the submit button by mistake, there was more I wanted to say.

Is the choice here full of want?

Yes

Thoughts wanting you to 'do' something?

Yes

Ask yourself how is reading all that stuff working out for you? Did the 40yrs worth work?

No, I know now that back then it was DE that saw no label and non separation. I just didn’t know what they were.

You have carried 40yrs of looking around for so long! Are you willing to see it for that?

Of course, it’s just bullshit, thought and memory.

Is the story yours? Do you own it? Does the story actually point to anyone?

No
No
No

Thought says I'm not the body. DE doesn't know, there is just the body.

[quote="Sarah7"Is there? Or is there just seeing? Labels separate seeing – but is this actually experienced? Check again.[/quote][/quote]

[lmellen]

Hi again Sarah,

This thing is driving me nuts tonight, I keep hitting the wrong button.

Thought says I'm not the body. DE doesn't know, there is just the body.

Is there? Or is there just seeing? Labels separate seeing – but is this actually experienced? Check again.

Actually all there is is sensory responses, the moving of the legs, the feet meeting the ground when walking, pressure on the body when sitting or lying down. The breathing, the heartbeat when exercising, air moving on the body.
The sensory impressions don't define what actually is there. It's labeling that tries to do that. It sure as hell looks like a body but with close examination with DE it's just sensory responses. Don't really know what actually is there, and that's weird.

Does the hand think then and label? Listen to your senses instead of labels. Also try with eyes shut.

This one is weird too. I was doing the hand exercise, closed my eyes, and couldn't identify my hand as a hand. I kept moving my fingers, rubbing them against the skin and eventually recognition did came back.

I wanted to write more on dropping the 40 yrs of bullshit, if you are willing we can do that next time.

Thanks Sarah, sorry for the buttons- Larryxxx

[Sarah7]

Hi Larry
Maybe I used the wrong word here.

Sarah. I spent a couple of years trying to drop the bullshit. K’s question “Can this body/mind empty itself of the past?”. I couldn't hold on to it. It needed constant questioning. I know damn well it’s bullshit, but what, who, how to drop it. If “I could just drop it”, “I” would gladly do so.

‘I spent a couple of years trying’….. That’s thought saying that – yes? Is there someone to drop anything? Do anything?
All that’s needed is seeing and noticing. Nothing else. There is no war except in thought. There is no bullshit except in thought. There is no resistance except in thought. Do you see this? If so :)
Ask yourself – what is the past – is it here now? Or is it made up of story upon story? Write those stories down – take each one and look at each and every one – are they true? Or are they just thought? Who or what wants rid of them? Who or what has gone to war with these memories? Which wave does not belong in the ocean? What harm do these memories do – except in thought? Who or what needs to cure? What can the past do????? To what????? And how?????

Sarah7 wrote:Is the choice here full of want?

Yes

Do you see the want? OK now sit with it. Did I give you the detailed fear questions? Can remember – Go into the want. Look like a child – as if you had never met it before. What does it feel like? Where is it felt mainly? Does it move – become more or less intense? Is it constant? Could you live with this sensation? How is this sensation ‘bad’? Is it made up of sensation or feeling? Is there emotion involved? Is there story involved and attached to that sensation? OK now gently move around the story and compare it to another sensation on the body – like the elbow. Does that sensation have story attached?
Just sit with this want for a bit. Get to know it. See what it is made up of. See the stories arise – no need to follow them, but if you do simply pick up when remembering happens.

Of course, it’s just bullshit, thought and memory.

What has labelled all this bullshit? Another thought? This is thought trying to get rid – right here! See this! No need to ‘do’ anything. Just see it! And :)

Actually all there is is sensory responses, the moving of the legs, the feet meeting the ground when walking, pressure on the body when sitting or lying down. The breathing, the heartbeat when exercising, air moving on the body. The sensory impressions don't define what actually is there. It's labeling that tries to do that. It sure as hell looks like a body but with close examination with DE it's just sensory responses. Don't really know what actually is there, and that's weird.

Not weird – lovely seeing!!!!!

This one is weird too. I was doing the hand exercise, closed my eyes, and couldn't identify my hand as a hand. I kept moving my fingers, rubbing them against the skin and eventually recognition did came back.

Fabulous noticing Larry!

I wanted to write more on dropping the 40 yrs of bullshit, if you are willing we can do that next time.

Am willing to look at anything you wish – I will simply point. OK.
Big hugs and love. Sarah xxx

[lmellen]

Hi Sarah,

Ask yourself – what is the past – is it here now?

The past only exists in thought and memory.When in the present, no past.

Does that sensation have story attached?

Sensations have no stories, only thought and memory.

I have been walking down the halls of the fitness center for a couple of years. About a year ago, it started feeling like a tunnel and the walls were pushing in on me. Today I was walking down the hall and enjoying the sensation of the body moving on its own. The walls started their thing when I realized it was just the effect of non separation, again it felt weird/interesting! I never knew what that was, thanks Sarah!

Thank You Sarah -- Larryxxx

[Sarah7]

Hi Larry

Sarah7 wrote:Ask yourself – what is the past – is it here now?

The past only exists in thought and memory. When in the present, no past.

That’s my point! – Do you actually experience the past now? Or just the thought? So when aren’t you in the present????? Even when in thought aren’t you in the present?
How do these memories or thoughts have power????? Over what Larry?
Big hugs Sarah xxx

[lmellen]

Hi Sarah,

Ask yourself – what is the past – is it here now?

The past only exists in thought and memory. When in the present, no past.

That’s my point! – Do you actually experience the past now? Or just the thought?

No, it’s just thinking, constant regurgitation of the past, expectations, unresolved conflicts, etc.

Even when in thought aren't you in the present?

Yes

So when aren't you in the present?????

Sarah, Are you saying that even when daydreaming the mirror reflects daydreaming just as it does
everything else? It must or I wouldn't be aware that I was daydreaming.

How do these memories or thoughts have power?????

They don't, they just create confusion.

Over what Larry?

Thinking.

Thanks Sarah -- Larryxxx