looking for a guide

[nenad]

Hi Boris,

Do thought processes create an I or do they only create sense of personal I?
Do they even create a sense of personal I or is 'sense of personal I ' just a term for these tjought processes?

Best Nenad

[boris]

hi I am not sure what the difference is between an I and a sense of personal I - what do you mean here? However, my view is that not only do I have thoughts that create a sense of "i", but also there is the feel of who I sense myself to be. The sense of "i" can be wobbled by strong emotion which can generate a whole host of self protective thoughts. The thought is I am protecting a ghost - there is no firm entity there, but emotion shapes thought and indeed for much of the time is more powerful and generates a view that there is something to protect.

All best Boris

[nenad]

Hi Boris,

Take a close look at this:

What do you mean when you say 'I'?
I am not just asking you to enlist parts of experience that thought labels I.
I am asking you to take a look at why are those things in particular called I and not some other things instead.

For example, if I is reffering to a person, is it referring to one person in particular -Boris?
If so, why that person, in particular?

[boris]

Hi - I means I am referring to 'me' - that existence in time and space that is useful to have a personal pronoun for. I who carries all these experiences if only in memory, that being who has experienced these things at that time in that place in his own unique way. "I" is refering to one particular person, that is the way the grammer works plus the experience flowing through "me" at this moment cannot be said to be flowing through anybody else, even if there is no self separate from the experiencing, nobody else can be said to be having my experience.

Best Boris

[nenad]

Hi!

I who carries all these experiences if only in memory

Is there something that carries experiences as memories? What is it?

that being who has experienced these things at that time in that place in his own unique way.

Is there a being that experiences experiences? Where is it?

Best Nenad

[boris]

Hi

Ok. there is just experiences non separate from the experiencer - they are not two elements, I need to stay with that.I cant find a separate experiencer, maybe a vague sense of a watcher sometimes, which is just another experience. However these experiences are happening in the someone known as Boris and to that extent they are mine, even if there is no firm "owner". I don't know how to respond to your question about memories, which do seem to be stored somehow. Much of who I sense myself to be seems to be tied up with these memories, this narrative of my life which has gone a certain way, shaped who I am - given me a sense of I am like this and not like that, good at this, rubbish at that etc. The self in this regard seems to be just a story with an emotional power that solidifies it, that seems to be the process of selfing, which is stangely addictive.

All best Boris

[nenad]

Hi

Ok. there is just experiences non separate from the experiencer - they are not two elements,

In fact, there is no experiencer at all. Experiences just show up. They are not experienced by anyone. They are simply known. Knowing of experience = experience.

I cant find a separate experiencer, maybe a vague sense of a watcher sometimes, which is just another experience.

Exactly.

However these experiences are happening in the someone known as Boris

What do you mean here? Tell me more about this.

I don't know how to respond to your question about memories, which do seem to be stored somehow.

What do you mean when you say that they seem to be stored somehow? How do they seem to be stored?

Much of who I sense myself to be seems to be tied up with these memories, this narrative of my life which has gone a certain way, shaped who I am - given me a sense of I am like this and not like that, good at this, rubbish at that etc.

What is this 'I' that senses itself to be someone? What was shaped in a certain way? What was given a sense of I am like this and not like that?

The self in this regard seems to be just a story with an emotional power that solidifies it, that seems to be the process of selfing, which is stangely addictive.

What is addicted to this process of selfing?

[nenad]

Boris?

[boris]

Hi Nenad - sorry for the delay, there are a lot of questions, may not come to them all in this post. The person the xperiences are happening to or in, namely Boris points to something about my experience at this paticular time cannot said to be happening to someone else - that experience though is ownerless in the sense of "I " do not get to keep any of it, there is just experience happening, this sentient being here is experiencing, but there is not a being here and a experience there. Will come to further questions in the morning.

All best Boris

[boris]

Hi Again

In regard to memory, they come afresh in the moment or sometimes with a bit of effort from me to remember as if I am dragging them out of some "store" somewhere. I have no experience directly of the means of storing memory, memories either come, or the effort made by me fails to get to the memory and frustration ensues, and then maybe a bit later the memory comes unbidden as if out of nowhere.

The "I" that senses itself to be someone, or has a sort of shape or identity - what I am saying here is there is a definite view of self - that view may not refer to a concrete entity( I haven't found one) but the view is a poweful shaper of action, of who I am and what I can do etc.

Best boris

[boris]

And Lastly ! your addiction question - when I look for what is addicted I find only strong self referential habits, I feel the term addiction fits as there is a strong pull to thinking about "me" or reading an "i" into how i respond to the world. it kind of does itself and perhaps without the doing there would be no self and perhaps with the doing there is no self either in terms of an entity, but in terms of a process, that doing, that selfiing is what gets firmed up emotionally into some'thing', that must be protected, preened, thought about, feel proud of/embarrased about or whatever. So, self as a process with no real substance, seems to be where I am landing with more clarity. Apologies for delay in getting back to you - best Boris

[nenad]

Hi Boris,

What is direct experience of sentient being?

[boris]

Hi Nenad

Direct experience is sentient being.

Boris

[nenad]

Hi Boris,

I'm not sure I understand. Can you explain further?

Nenad

[boris]

Hi Nenad

If there is no sentience, there is no experience. When you experience directly a body pain say, you are experiencing your sentient beingness directly, therefore direct experience and sentience interchange.

Best Boris