Looking for a guide

[Elad]

Okay, meet all that with compassion as best you can. I don't remember if I all ready gave you the following exercise, in anay case recommending to do it/do it again:

[Elad]

For the next day practice several periods of just sitting, just walking or just laying. Duration can be everything from 1 min to as much as fits the flow. Just play with it. Let it be clear: It is not about not having thoughts or feelings during those periods. Everything will be as it will be. It's just that during those periods the only "choice" is to sit or walk or lay. Whatever else we are working with here, this a practice you can return to also. Try it in different places. In quiet place alone, in a cafe, etc.

Finally also:

Regularly look to, what am I referring to when I speak of this someone who is going forwards or backwards, waking up or not?
What is controlling all that?

Don't "give me the right answer" right now - except if it's the loving sharing of the heart. What matters is "your" looking and sinking into the seeing.

[IamaCloud]

For the next day practice several periods of just sitting, just walking or just laying. Duration can be everything from 1 min to as much as fits the flow. Just play with it. Let it be clear: It is not about not having thoughts or feelings during those periods. Everything will be as it will be. It's just that during those periods the only "choice" is to sit or walk or lay. Whatever else we are working with here, this a practice you can return to also. Try it in different places. In quiet place alone, in a cafe, etc.

Finally also:

Regularly look to, what am I referring to when I speak of this someone who is going forwards or backwards, waking up or not?
What is controlling all that?

Don't "give me the right answer" right now - except if it's the loving sharing of the heart. What matters is "your" looking and sinking into the seeing.

Thank you - I will do this exercise tomorrow and report back

[IamaCloud]

For the next day practice several periods of just sitting, just walking or just laying. Duration can be everything from 1 min to as much as fits the flow. Just play with it. Let it be clear: It is not about not having thoughts or feelings during those periods. Everything will be as it will be. It's just that during those periods the only "choice" is to sit or walk or lay. Whatever else we are working with here, this a practice you can return to also. Try it in different places. In quiet place alone, in a cafe, etc.

Finally also:

Regularly look to, what am I referring to when I speak of this someone who is going forwards or backwards, waking up or not?
What is controlling all that?

Don't "give me the right answer" right now - except if it's the loving sharing of the heart. What matters is "your" looking and sinking into the seeing.

Thank you - I will do this exercise tomorrow and report back

Okay so I am unsure if I did the exercise correctly. What happens when thoughts come up? Just remind myself I should return to walking for example. Can I walk the dog during this time? Or is it just the one thing?

[Elad]

If reminding happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't. If thought is there it's there. Same for thoughts saying doubt is there or that clarity is there. Nothing to do right or wrong. The only "choice" is to walk or sit or lay during the time decided in advance. All else is clearly just spontaneous/automatic occurrences.

You can do it while walking the dog. You will the be doing a slight variation called "just walking the dog". It's fine. Don't be perfectionistic about it, it won't help. A playful attitude will help much more.

Do it some times also in the simplest form though, i.e. without dog, just sit, walk or lay.

[Elad]

Write what is experienced

[IamaCloud]

Write what is experienced

Do I set the time in advance? If I go with the flow then I would be making a decision other than “walking” during that time? Am I making this too complicated?

I have made several very big changes (removed myself from medications) in the past several weeks. I am having such a big response to the last one which was 6 days ago. I feel emotional and like I am at the mercy of these emotions and I’m having a super hard time reconnecting to my practice, largely because these emotions are producing responses which send me so quickly into a shame spiral of sorts I cannot figure out where the entry point even is if that makes sense? Also I’m going to send you a quick email.

[Elad]

Hi Carrie,

I will answer you on email re session. If you don't feel safe with your feelings, just shift to be kind to you and take of you as best you can by all conventional means. This work can continue once you feel safe emotionally/psychologically.

Re the exercise yes you are making it too complicated. No instruction or pointer I give here has "mathematical" precision. Metaphorically they are more like "games" to play that will lead you to see beyond the habitual limitations of your thinking, consciously and unconsciously. So in the sit/lay/walk came "you choose" to follow the simple rule as best you can. Whatever happens after happens, is not a choice, even if you break the game, do something else. But as best you can you follow the rule and just see what happens.

[Elad]

take *care* of you

[IamaCloud]

Hi Carrie,

I will answer you on email re session. If you don't feel safe with your feelings, just shift to be kind to you and take of you as best you can by all conventional means. This work can continue once you feel safe emotionally/psychologically.

Re the exercise yes you are making it too complicated. No instruction or pointer I give here has "mathematical" precision. Metaphorically they are more like "games" to play that will lead you to see beyond the habitual limitations of your thinking, consciously and unconsciously. So in the sit/lay/walk came "you choose" to follow the simple rule as best you can. Whatever happens after happens, is not a choice, even if you break the game, do something else. But as best you can you follow the rule and just see what happens.

When I do this exercise, the mind notices the thought of the thing being done. It also feels like more of a profound sense of awareness that arises, and it seems to be more present than normal because there is nothing to be done beside the thing that I am 'doing'. It seems there is a deeper desire to absorb my surroundings in a sensory way.

[Elad]

Wonderful. Good "playing" here 🤍🤗

Play some more with that. Try different settings, alone, in a cafe, at work, in park, try it with other simple activities: just driving, just taking a bath, just playing ping pong.

Tell me what is noticed.

[IamaCloud]

Wonderful. Good "playing" here 🤍🤗

Play some more with that. Try different settings, alone, in a cafe, at work, in park, try it with other simple activities: just driving, just taking a bath, just playing ping pong.

Tell me what is noticed.

I suppose the overarching thing I notice is the awareness of being aware of "xyz". More acute DE. It seems like the exercise provides a containment and maybe there is less thinking happening because of this? Like thinking happens as a function of attempting to control, but that wasn't required because I had this space of 'doing' sorted out, even if just for a short amount of time

[Elad]

Very very good. You don't need to understand how this works, all though your thoughts are good, and the habit of trying to understand will continue until it doesn't (and go on and off) and can just be witnessed like all the rest.

During today ongoingly as much as you have time categorize experience in real time into feeling, sound and image. Notice that beside here and now fresh unfolding sound, feeling and images, emerging thoughts are generally either imagined sound (often speech) and imagined images (including images of ones body in space now). All (both thoughts and sensations) happening in real time. For this exercise don't give special attention to taste/smell, or just label it taste/smell when it comes. But most importantly label most of experience ongoingly as image, sound, feeling. For this one it doesn't matter if it's a fresh direct sound, image, feeling or thoughts in the form of imagined sound and images, you mainly just label everything: image, sound, feeling (plus a little taste/smell) So here is an example, me doing it:

Sound of bird, simply sound
Feeling of vibration, simply feeling
Thought image of my body, simply image
Thought image of you reading, simply image
Sound of bird, simply sound
Thought image of bird and sky, simply image
Thought sound of me reading, simply sound
Etc.

Do this for many moments and small periods during the day, as much as comfortably possible, while walking, sitting, lying, etc.

Write me what is directly experienced during the explorations/practicing.

[IamaCloud]

Very very good. You don't need to understand how this works, all though your thoughts are good, and the habit of trying to understand will continue until it doesn't (and go on and off) and can just be witnessed like all the rest.

During today ongoingly as much as you have time categorize experience in real time into feeling, sound and image. Notice that beside here and now fresh unfolding sound, feeling and images, emerging thoughts are generally either imagined sound (often speech) and imagined images (including images of ones body in space now). All (both thoughts and sensations) happening in real time. For this exercise don't give special attention to taste/smell, or just label it taste/smell when it comes. But most importantly label most of experience ongoingly as image, sound, feeling. For this one it doesn't matter if it's a fresh direct sound, image, feeling or thoughts in the form of imagined sound and images, you mainly just label everything: image, sound, feeling (plus a little taste/smell) So here is an example, me doing it:

Sound of bird, simply sound
Feeling of vibration, simply feeling
Thought image of my body, simply image
Thought image of you reading, simply image
Sound of bird, simply sound
Thought image of bird and sky, simply image
Thought sound of me reading, simply sound
Etc.

Do this for many moments and small periods during the day, as much as comfortably possible, while walking, sitting, lying, etc.

Write me what is directly experienced during the explorations/practicing.

eeling sound image

Doing this exercise helps to stay in a curious place. Sometimes there is sound and feeling together and it is utterly consuming, as if my body is just a medium and it passes through me freely yet taking up all the space. I become this experience on a cellular level.
During this exercise, I also have an experience with consciousness without the thinking. I don’t try and separate things in the visual field and similar with sound. It’s just a flowing fabric with room for all.
I notice I have no desire to engage as I normally would (social by nature) because I am already a part of. It almost feels disruptive if I were to do so. I am here already, no need to state so.

[Elad]

Beautiful beautiful!

Continue today with alternating between this labeling sound/sight/feeling (including for thoughts) and periods of exploration of just sitting/laying/walking (everything else as it is by itself).

Write me how what is seen.