Hi Lisa,
Having a rather technical job that is heavy on analysis and thinking can be challenging,
Yes, this is possible. Your brain and body will be tired and it can be harder to change and LOOK at something with Direct Experiencing method.
Just to be clear:
"Thinking" is totally natural for us human beings, without thinking we could not even communicate. Thinking is a big part of our life, especially of our working life. And you have seen, how they work:
Thoughts aren't ever doing anything. They come in, maybe hang around for a while, maybe not, then they go. Maybe come back, maybe not. Constant flow.
Yes. Exactly. Perfect noticing of how thought-ing is happening.
There is nothing bad or ‘weak' in having thoughts. As you have SEEN in multiple exercises, they are happening on their own, coming and going or staying and bringing a content that was more often than not even asked for…..
Noticing a lot of thoughts, almost constant. Sometimes in a full sentence format that is relatively easy to notice, other times so fast that it barely registers as a thought. It can even be just a word, or a line from a song.
Yes. Exactly. Perfect noticing of how thought-ing is happening.
it doesn't change the truth. And that is what I want to learn. To see the truth, to see through falsehood. That's it.
Yes, that is what can happen here, SEEING how things are and always have been. It is already so, already now there is no extra entity somewhere inside of Lisa that is doing your life.
There is no ‘I’ or ‘me’ or separate self or any kind of entity that is ‘doing’ life.
Life is happening.
Is happening as a sky, as clouds moving, as your dogs playing, as trees moving, as wind winding…..
And is happening as Lisa.
This can not be learned.
You cannot learn something that is already here.
What is there to be learned???
It only can be SEEN.
SEEN that life is already and always liv-ing, right now.
Do you remember the very first pointer?
When I ask you: how is the weather in your place right now, Lisa?
You can:
1. open the window and look, feel, smell and hear the wind, sun, rain, smell of plants….. and share what is seen: It is raining and the rain is warm.
2. check your weather App or your computer or switch on TV or call a friend to check for you or you remember what yesterday’s weather forecast told what today’s weather would be.
Then you can tell me the information you got.
But are they true? Can you know if they are true? Do you have any experience about the true-ness of these information?
This is the difference between Direct Experience, Actual and raw experience, which is only:
]Direct or Actual Experience is
Seeing
Hearing
Sensation (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)
Tasting
Smelling
Thoughts Arising (but not their content)
The 2 nd solution is not at all about experiencing anything. It is only the content of thoughts, we can call information.
But is the content of a thought true or real???
Is the thought/figure/symbol of a unicorn, Batman, Santa true? Or are they labels for something?
Lisa, you can see the difference between a Direct Experience and a thought content/label/lie.
this "weakness" that I have in (not) seeing thoughts for what they actually are.
No, I don’t think there is ‘weakness’ here.
In different occasions you did notice thoughts for what they are, labels and thought up…..
It does not ’sink’ in…..though, a shift in perceiving is not happening.
Why?
Fear? If fear comes up it's here to show you that you are entering unexplored areas.
Can you welcome everything that is new, different, unexpected, investigated in and discovered and seen?
Seen for the first time?
It might take your breath away.
Can you say ‘yes’ to this uncovering of what is already?
This is not weakness but most powerful.
A very powerful tool.
This tool works best when you can thank everything that comes up, that shows itself, everything that can be seen. Even if you can not ‘get it’ or ‘understand’. It is true nevertheless…..
Can you surrender to what is discovered and seen, for the first time?
Or is there resistance?
Surrender to what is and resistance to what is are the 2 ends of the same line……
At this point we often suggest the process of ‘DEEP LOOKING’, looking and asking and listening to what your mind and heart have to say.
This process was developed by Ilona, one of the founders of this site and process at LU. You saw already some of her videos.
To do it, you need some quiet time alone, and a pen and paper (no, phone or iPad are not working here…)
Listening deeply to what the mind and the heart have to say.
When we listen to how mind and heart responds, we can take the next step. That is asking another question that rises up from the previous answer. Whatever shows up in the answer is showing the way to go deeper.
The
Deep Looking Process is a conversation with whatever structure comes up to talk. When the focus is turned inside, notice, there is a voice talking, it labels everything.
Using this function of mind, we can have a chat with mind, heart, body, see what they want, what is in the way of having it now, what is there that needs to be protected.
Talking to the mind may sound weird, but it's not any weirder than talking to other imaginary characters in the head, like your partner or parent. It's imagined role play, a game, don't take it too seriously. It does not mean that there is this entity called Mind or Heart that live inside the entity called Body. It only means that if you ask a question of the structure directly you get a direct answer. Simple.
So ask the mind if it's at peace. Literally. - Mind, are you at peace?
Wait for the answer.
............
It's either yes or no. If yes, thank the MIND for the answer and ask the HEART the same question.
Wait for the answer and if it comes as yes then thank the heart too and enjoy the rest of the day :)
If NO comes up, ask the mind/heart what does it want the most.
You can write the answers down, as it helps to keep focus.
..........
After each answer give thanks and honor the heart and the mind.
...........
Next question would be- What is in the way of feeling relaxed now?
When the answer comes welcome that feeling, let it be here for a minute and just allow it to be as it is. Then you may ask the feeling what does it want the most, and see what comes up after that…
Don’t forget to write down the answers that come ….. our minds are tricky and can loose focus…..
...........
When the answer comes that feeling, mind, heart wants to relax, you ask:
Are you ready to relax?
Are you ready to relax now?
If both answers are yes, then just close your eyes and feel. Feel fully, without putting labels on what is felt. Just letting the raw sensations enfold you, play out and pass. Take your time with this one and when it feels that all has passed, bring in some more, and feel it out and then some more. And even more. Keep at it- welcoming, bringing up, feeling out, keep at the process as long as it feels right. You may imagine that there is an open door in the area of the feeling and see how the feeling is moving through that door. Alternatively, just feel. In the end, it may feel like exhaustion, tiredness. It's ok. This work requires a bit of concentration.
When feelings like fear, resistance come up, talk to them and ask, what are they protecting. When you get an answer ask the mind to LOOK if it still needs to protect that, or protection is no longer needed. If it's no longer needed you may ask if the feeling wants to leave. If it says yes, then feel it out as described above. If the answer is no, then ask what this feeling wants to tell you. Listen. Whatever the answer is, thank the feeling for the answer and focus on that which comes up in the answer. It all may sound bit complicated, but when you are there, in conversation, the questions and answers just play out by themselves.
The only thing to keep an eye on is the focus.
The tricky thing is, that if you are coming close to some strongly protected area, mind jumps at defense and either builds a wall or creates a distraction, or even both. The wall can be a sudden boredom, laziness to carry on, sleepiness, dismissal, blankness.
Distraction can come in many forms. Suddenly you may feel that you got something else to do or focus goes to something completely unrelated, something that appears to be much more interesting. It's the trick that mind plays when something feels threatened. If you notice that this happened, bring the focus back gently. Tell the mind that this is safe and you are here only to help it to get what it wants the most. Keep looking, keep welcoming and focus on what else is there that wants to speak up.
Often some scenes from childhood come up. A little kid, you, that may be feeling unloved, abandoned, and wants to be heard. Something may have happened, that the hurt is still there, something unresolved that still needs attention, processing, and acceptance. Give a hug to that child and tell her, how precious she is and how beautiful and that you love her very much. Ask the child what she wants the most and assure that she is safe and loved, stay with her till she feels lighter.
It's a mystery how this works, but it sure does. The Deep Looking Process allows you to go right to the root of stuck energy, lets you examine the beliefs and feelings around it and release happens. A deep release, that clears the space around the issue. It fills space with love and appreciation instead of tightness and unease.
When mind and heart are content and at peace, you may ask the mind, if it knows that the heart is it's home. Ask if it's already at home and if no, ask if it wants to join with the heart. Make sure both sides agree and then just close your eyes for a bit and feel the heart, feel the energy moving and simply be with it. As long as it feels right. It feels as it feels, descriptions fail at this point, no need to name the feeling either.
Lisa, I invite you to try to do this Deep Looking Process.
Try it out and let me know how it goes.
Then we will see how to proceed from there.
Lots of love to you
Trisha