A bit worried about this process.

[decoyplankton]

Hi Sarah,
Sorry I've been off the grid for a couple of days. My task (should I wish to accept it), is to install a new shower with enclosure and tiling to our bathroom in time for Christmas. So no pressure !! I've pulled it all to bits, now all I have to do is put all new stuff back - easy !! This may be one of those situations where thoughts could be useful. Although I've noticed some negative thoughts too :-)

Anyway enough about me!

I've managed to put some time aside for having a look at things. Firstly, I had a moment yesterday when I was looking to see if I could find if it was true that everything is just as it is. I can see that this is true, but I'm getting a bit tied up with what that means regarding responsibility. I know this is thought sticking it's oar in again. But it seems like a fair question. 'If all is as it is and can be no other way, is there no such thing as free will?' Or am I mixing up the story and rules regarding 'me' with what actually is. Is the concept of free will just another me story? Can I actually change anything, or are the 'changes' I make part of what is anyway?

So looking happens again and again and each time thought is seen trying to claim ownership of the moment take note of what happens.

I've deffinatly noticed that I notice thoughts a lot more than I used to. Story is rife in my thoughts most of the time. I catch myself seeing the minds latest drama more often than I ever used to. Sometimes i Iet it play out because it's entertaining. Usually accompanied by music!
I've noticed that when thought is trying to take ownership, it uses associations or memories that are connected with an event or thought to reinforce the feeling that 'I' am having this experience.

notice how movement follows useful and whether more thoughts or stories resisting whatever follow non useful thoughts. Notice habit of response and thought.

I'm still looking to try and verify this. It all happens so fast, it is a bit difficult to see at first. Will continue to look during the day when I remember and the opportunity presents itself.

Take care,

Rich.

[Sarah7]

Hi Rich

I've managed to put some time aside for having a look at things. Firstly, I had a moment yesterday when I was looking to see if I could find if it was true that everything is just as it is. I can see that this is true, but I'm getting a bit tied up with what that means regarding responsibility.

Well, have a little look. Is there a ‘you’ responsible for anything? Does that mean responsibility doesn’t appear? Can being responsible still appear, as anything else? What puts the meaning to this movement though?

'If all is as it is and can be no other way, is there no such thing as free will?' Or am I mixing up the story and rules regarding 'me' with what actually is. Is the concept of free will just another me story? Can I actually change anything, or are the 'changes' I make part of what is anyway?

Have a look at this too – see if you can find the answer IN LOOKING - NOT in thought!

I've deffinatly noticed that I notice thoughts a lot more than I used to. Story is rife in my thoughts most of the time. I catch myself seeing the minds latest drama more often than I ever used to. Sometimes i Iet it play out because it's entertaining. Usually accompanied by music! I've noticed that when thought is trying to take ownership, it uses associations or memories that are connected with an event or thought to reinforce the feeling that 'I' am having this experience.

Lovely – keep watching and don’t forget to :)!

notice how movement follows useful and whether more thoughts or stories resisting whatever follow non useful thoughts. Notice habit of response and thought.

I'm still looking to try and verify this. It all happens so fast, it is a bit difficult to see at first. Will continue to look during the day when I remember and the opportunity presents itself.

Please!
Hugs Sarah xxx

[decoyplankton]

Hi Sarah,

Sorry for not posting for a couple of days. When I get chance to look at some of the stuff you've asked me, I find that it is very difficult at the moment. My mind does not want to look. I'm finding this very frustrating. It's difficult to focus and I'm not sure what I'm looking for most of the time.

Well, have a little look. Is there a ‘you’ responsible for anything? Does that mean responsibility doesn’t appear? Can being responsible still appear, as anything else? What puts the meaning to this movement though?

Responsibility does appear. There is a feeling that what I do carries responsibility with it. If there is no me doing things - things are just happening, the responsibility is carried by whatever makes things happen. I don't know what that is.

I can't seem to find a satisfactory answer to the free will question! This idea of a free will is so deeply ingrained that I'm finding it very difficult to drop it. Mind and thought want to replace it with something else to fill the gap - to explain how I seem to be able to make decisions.

notice how movement follows useful and whether more thoughts or stories resisting whatever follow non useful thoughts. Notice habit of response and thought.

Yes. useful thought is followed usually by action if appropriate, or else an idea or purpose is stored ready to be carried out when needed. Non useful thought usually ends up bouncing around my head picking up more attachments and building story as it goes - until I notice it happening, then when it's been rumbled it stops! There is also a tremendous amount of habit in non useful thought. The same thought reactions seen to reoccur as if trying to reinforce some image of me. For example when driving, all the other road users are idiots except me !! Or pretty much any thought that is ultimately to do with self image.

Take care

Rich

[Sarah7]

Hi Rich

My mind does not want to look. I'm finding this very frustrating. It's difficult to focus and I'm not sure what I'm looking for most of the time.

Yes. Is this story? Thoughts saying it isn’t happening? Or that it isn’t what it should be? Has thought linked frustration and the reason together? Do you want to take a break if this isn’t convenient and come back when it is? It is not a problem. What was experienced here – and that doesn’t really mean anything at all – is that thoughts would appear to do anything to stop looking from happening. BUT you have noticed this – so….. has looking stopped?

Responsibility does appear. There is a feeling that what I do carries responsibility with it. If there is no me doing things - things are just happening, the responsibility is carried by whatever makes things happen. I don't know what that is.

How much of this is story? What does this ‘feeling’ have attached to it outside of thought? And as I said – does doing continue as if there is responsibility? How does this doing ‘feel’ without story or thought attached?

I can't seem to find a satisfactory answer to the free will question! This idea of a free will is so deeply ingrained that I'm finding it very difficult to drop it. Mind and thought want to replace it with something else to fill the gap - to explain how I seem to be able to make decisions.

Lets just assume for a moment that there is no you to ‘have’ free will. That free will was just another thought with a story attached. Has anything actually changed in terms of what is happening outside of thought? In other words has chaos suddenly erupted because there is no and has never been a you? What would this revelation of no free will actually affect? Where is this ‘you’ to have it? Look. When you are looking do you see decisions just being made? What about in the morning – does the hand automatically reach for the tea? Did you decide that? Did you decide to like tea (or whatever) at all? Did you chose to be born? Did you decide to love?

Yes. useful thought is followed usually by action if appropriate, or else an idea or purpose is stored ready to be carried out when needed. Non useful thought usually ends up bouncing around my head picking up more attachments and building story as it goes - until I notice it happening, then when it's been rumbled it stops! There is also a tremendous amount of habit in non useful thought. The same thought reactions seen to reoccur as if trying to reinforce some image of me. For example when driving, all the other road users are idiots except me !! Or pretty much any thought that is ultimately to do with self image.

Well seen!
Hugs Sarah xxx

[decoyplankton]

Sarah,

Yes. I think I need to take a break here. There are some questions that have not been addressed by me particularly thoroughly. I want to take a break from posting so I can really have a look at things. Is that OK?

The free will thing is a bit of a stumbling block for me. I know on an intellectual level that it's just thought getting in the way and trying to put a spanner in the works! The history of my conditioning to this idea is my catholic schooling that I mentioned right at the beginning. I know it's stupid, but this idea of free will is fundamental to the 'belief' of living your life and then being judged on your decisions in some grand human court judgement day thing !! I tell myself that it's all bullshit but the teaching from an early age is hard to undo ( says thought of course!). Anyway, the only thing that can get me through this is proper looking. I need a bit of time to do that. So I hope you understand what i mean.

Will be in touch as soon as I feel I can. Hope this thread stays live for a while longer.

Thanks for everything you've helped me with so far.

Love
Rich.

[Sarah7]

Hi Rich

Yes. I think I need to take a break here. There are some questions that have not been addressed by me particularly thoroughly. I want to take a break from posting so I can really have a look at things. Is that OK?

Most certainly!

The free will thing is a bit of a stumbling block for me. I know on an intellectual level that it's just thought getting in the way and trying to put a spanner in the works! The history of my conditioning to this idea is my catholic schooling that I mentioned right at the beginning. I know it's stupid, but this idea of free will is fundamental to the 'belief' of living your life and then being judged on your decisions in some grand human court judgement day thing !! I tell myself that it's all bullshit but the teaching from an early age is hard to undo ( says thought of course!). Anyway, the only thing that can get me through this is proper looking. I need a bit of time to do that. So I hope you understand what i mean.

Not stupid – but conditioning is the right word for it. We are told things very early on and these things become beliefs. And yes it is hard to question what we ‘think’ we know. It is as I have also said before – question everything – verify everything. What do you actually know to be true? I understand totally and yes all that is needed is looking.

Will be in touch as soon as I feel I can. Hope this thread stays live for a while longer. Thanks for everything you've helped me with so far.

I would love to work with you further Rich – as it has been a real pleasure so far. The threads dont close. In the meantime – keep looking – and if you need something don’t hesitate to ask! OK.
Have a lovely Christmas and hopefully speak with you soon.
Big Hugs Sarah xxx

[decoyplankton]

Hello Sarah,

I hope you are well. Did you have a good break at Christmas? I feel like I've been away for ages.

Well I've certainly had a decent break. I have managed to get time to revisit some of the stuff we've been talking about in between Christmas, new year, visitors, and going back to work.

I've been looking and reexamining some of the things we have been talking about. I don't think there have been many moments when I haven't noticed a kind of nagging feeling saying "you have to finish this", which is weird - I didn't expect that. It took a while before I noticed and identified what the nagging feeling was trying to tell me.

There have been times when I've tried to look deeply into the moment and have tried to find where " I" resides but I've been unable to identify where. But a feeling of "I" remains still.

I think we left off our last conversation talking about responsibility and free will. I've had time to consider that, and although I've reached no logical answer that satisfies thought, I kind of concluded that it doesn't matter. By that I mean it's not important to anything except thought. Hasn't responsibility been taking care of itself anyway so far in my life? Haven't the decision's that have been made been largely OK? Life is where it is, and weather it was my guiding that got it here or it just flowed that way really makes no difference. So there is no reason to feel that it would be any other way if I managed to see the truth that there is really no I. Because nothing real is being destroyed or removed. Realising that something was never there will not change anything real. How could it?

I've identified the true sticking point Sarah. I could not say before because I didn't see it for what it was. I've not been looking too deeply because I'm afraid. I spend my time skirting around technical issues like free will etc because it gives me an excuse not to look deeper. Not to face the obvious. What I wrote above is correct isn't it? But still I refuse to face the inevitable conclusion because I'm afraid. I feel like I'm on the cusp of something but my fear holds me back. It's like starring into a black hole. Everything behind is known and holds little mystery. Everything ahead is unknown and terrifying!! I don't know how to proceed now.

Looking forward to hearing from you again. Hope you can help,

Rich

[Sarah7]

Hi Rich!
Great to hear from you! I had a very quiet but relaxing break thank you. Happy New Year to you!

I don't think there have been many moments when I haven't noticed a kind of nagging feeling saying "you have to finish this", which is weird - I didn't expect that. It took a while before I noticed and identified what the nagging feeling was trying to tell me.

And that feeling when sat with – was there a story attached? Was the story containing a ‘you need to ….’? Is it possible to sit with and BE with that feeling without responding?

There have been times when I've tried to look deeply into the moment and have tried to find where " I" resides but I've been unable to identify where. But a feeling of "I" remains still.

And is thought saying it shouldn’t? LOL.

I think we left off our last conversation talking about responsibility and free will. I've had time to consider that, and although I've reached no logical answer that satisfies thought, I kind of concluded that it doesn't matter. By that I mean it's not important to anything except thought. Hasn't responsibility been taking care of itself anyway so far in my life? Haven't the decision's that have been made been largely OK? Life is where it is, and weather it was my guiding that got it here or it just flowed that way really makes no difference. So there is no reason to feel that it would be any other way if I managed to see the truth that there is really no I. Because nothing real is being destroyed or removed. Realising that something was never there will not change anything real. How could it?

WOW!

I've identified the true sticking point Sarah. I could not say before because I didn't see it for what it was. I've not been looking too deeply because I'm afraid. I spend my time skirting around technical issues like free will etc because it gives me an excuse not to look deeper. Not to face the obvious. What I wrote above is correct isn't it? But still I refuse to face the inevitable conclusion because I'm afraid. I feel like I'm on the cusp of something but my fear holds me back. It's like starring into a black hole. Everything behind is known and holds little mystery. Everything ahead is unknown and terrifying!! I don't know how to proceed now.

Fear is very natural you know. It is designed specifically for safety. There is great love there - do you see that? Recognize that in the fear. Fear is your friend. So deep breathe. Drop those shoulders. Relax.

What difference do you think looking in that black hole will make? Is that thought showing future images? Is the fear IN thought? Is story running rampant? Are you following story – or watching it? Where actually is the threat? Where is the danger? What is happening right now – not in the future story – right now? Look.

Did I send you the fear exercise?
Big hugs Sarah xxx

[decoyplankton]

Hi Sarah,
Happy new year to you too.
Thanks for getting back to me today. I've missed our exchanges these past few weeks and I feel glad to be back.

And that feeling when sat with – was there a story attached? Was the story containing a ‘you need to ….’? Is it possible to sit with and BE with that feeling without responding?

Yes there was a story attached about how I've started this process and I can't just abandon it now without seeing it through to the end. To be honest, I also feel that I have to know what the truth is now I've realised that most of us are living in fantasy. Yes it is possible to let this feeling simply be there and not respond.

Thought is telling me that if I truly see that the "I" is illusion, then I shouldn't feel like there is an "I" anymore. Although this is based on the writings of other people who have seen through the illusion of self.

What difference do you think looking in that black hole will make? Is that thought showing future images? Is the fear IN thought? Is story running rampant? Are you following story – or watching it? Where actually is the threat? Where is the danger?

I'll try to describe the feeling to you although I'm sure that you probably know what I mean anyway. When I was a kid we used to play near a derelict house. We would wind each other up talking about how the house was haunted and we'd dare each other to go in there alone. Even though I knew in my heart that there were no ghosts there, when it came to my turn to go inside, I'd stand on the threshold completely terrified of going in but yet knowing that I couldn't turn back.

So that's a bit like how I feel now. I'm standing in the doorway of the haunted house all over again. Thoughts are telling me that it's unknown and therefore dangerous. The fear is in thought for definate. But at the same time, I've learnt so much about how things really are, and I feel like I understand a lot more. The obvious thing to do is to ignore the fear and push on. But the fear is very strong at the moment. Its strength appears to be proportional to how deeply I look at things. The deeper I look the stronger it gets.

Is story running rampant? Are you following story – or watching it?

I think I must be following the story instead of just watching it.
Recently I did a kind of mental list of what I had discovered so far. About decisions being made but not by "me", about hearing and seeing just happening, about how the free will issue was unimportant, about there being no need for a separate entity called " I" for life to be experienced. Then I thought 'so I know all that stuff, the only thing left is to embrace it . See it all as reality.' Then the fear comes. Like standing in the doorway again !!

You did send me the exercise on fear. I will have a look at this tomorrow.

Take care,

Rich

[Sarah7]

Hi Rich
Again so much noticed!

Yes it is possible to let this feeling simply be there and not respond.

OK – Id like you to try that. Notice everything that is going on – like watching it on a TV screen. And if thoughts are followed then no worries. Just notice when remembering happens. OK.

Thought is telling me that if I truly see that the "I" is illusion, then I shouldn't feel like there is an "I" anymore. Although this is based on the writings of other people who have seen through the illusion of self.

Well seen – so is it experienced that a feeling of ‘I’ is there or not? Is it there all the time? Partially? What tells you it is there?

Thoughts are telling me that it's unknown and therefore dangerous. The fear is in thought for definate. But at the same time, I've learnt so much about how things really are, and I feel like I understand a lot more. The obvious thing to do is to ignore the fear and push on. But the fear is very strong at the moment. Its strength appears to be proportional to how deeply I look at things. The deeper I look the stronger it gets.

So where is the danger? Right now – where is it?

Then I thought 'so I know all that stuff, the only thing left is to embrace it . See it all as reality.' Then the fear comes. Like standing in the doorway again !!

Is it possible to ignore the fear? Did you bring it in the first place? Can you send it away at will? Are you resisting this fear? Is the fear yours?

You did send me the exercise on fear. I will have a look at this tomorrow.

Please do. I did pm you with it again.
Hugs Sarah xxx

[decoyplankton]

Hi Sarah,

OK – Id like you to try that. Notice everything that is going on – like watching it on a TV screen.

I've had a good go at this. It is possible to just let the feeling hang there. Thoughts do arise, and mostly I can just watch them. Occasionally the drag me along with them until I see what's happening.

so is it experienced that a feeling of ‘I’ is there or not? Is it there all the time? Partially? What tells you it is there?

Up until yesterday, I would have said that the feeling of 'I' was always there. But a fairly strange thing happened to me yesterday as I was driving down the A1 from Yorkshire - ( I'd been to see my mum because she's been I'll). I know that some people can have "an experience" of some form or other and that it doesn't necessarily mean anything but I'll describe it to you in case it's relevant or normal ( I don't know). A feeling sort of crept up on me that my body was driving by itself, in other words it didn't belong to a "me". Especially my eyes seemed to be not controlled by a " me " the information was being noted but not by what I recognised as "me". Then later the feeling intensified and I went to bed early partly because I couldn't concentrate on watching TV or anything. I just wanted to be with this feeling. I found I couldn't sleep for a few hours there was a feeling of light headedness and a kind of huge space that's very hard to describe. Within the space was a feeling (or more a confirmation) that everything is one. Today at work the feeling was still there but less intense. I can still feel it now but mostly when it's quiet and there is no necessity for thought about anything. It has diminished in intensity a fair bit since last night at its peak it felt like my whole body was buzzing in some way. Very strange, but not unpleasant at all.

I don't want to become too hung up on these kinds of experiences if they are only something that comes and goes. Is it important? Is it more distraction from seeing the truth? I don't want anything to get in the way of seeing the truth even if it is a pleasant experience like this.

I keep looking for where " I" resides in my being but it can't be found. Still there are thoughts of 'I' but I do notice them. I still talk to myself in my head - but I notice this also.

I've had a go at the fear exercise - thanks for sending it to me again. This fear was very evident over Christmas, but I didn't feel any fear during this experience yesterday it didn't seem threatening in any way. I wonder if the act of writing to you about fear did something to diminish it?

I'm going to keep going with the fear exercise. I'll see if I can find the fear again like before. I also keep looking for where "I" am.

Looking forward to hearing what you think about all this.

Take care,

Rich.

[Sarah7]

Hi Rich

I've had a good go at this. It is possible to just let the feeling hang there. Thoughts do arise, and mostly I can just watch them. Occasionally the drag me along with them until I see what's happening.

Then what happened?

Up until yesterday, I would have said that the feeling of 'I' was always there. But a fairly strange thing happened to me yesterday as I was driving down the A1 from Yorkshire

OK – Check and recheck with this feeling of ‘I’. Is it always there? Really? And as with all experiences – is anything permanent? Apart from that which recognizes all experiences – does anything else stay the same? Ever? Or is all in ever changing flux? Clouds across a sky. Waves in the ocean. What wants that special feeling to stay? Or wants bliss or some other permanent experience?
Is that "me" the information was being noted but not by what I recognised as "me" still there? Have a look. Does it ever leave?

I don't want to become too hung up on these kinds of experiences if they are only something that comes and goes. Is it important? Is it more distraction from seeing the truth? I don't want anything to get in the way of seeing the truth even if it is a pleasant experience like this.

How do you know you don’t already see the truth? What tells you its something other than this?
Have a look at this:
http://vince-wisingup.blogspot.com.au/2 ... nment.html

I keep looking for where " I" resides in my being but it can't be found. Still there are thoughts of 'I' but I do notice them. I still talk to myself in my head - but I notice this also.

Lovely. Keep looking until you are sure. And good for the fear exercise.
Big hugs Sarah xxx

[decoyplankton]

Hi Sarah

I've had a good go at this. It is possible to just let the feeling hang there. Thoughts do arise, and mostly I can just watch them. Occasionally the drag me along with them until I see what's happening.

Then what happened?

Once I notice that I'm following the thought stories, the stories stop or kind of loose their hold and I can return to just observing thought again.

Apart from that which recognizes all experiences – does anything else stay the same? Ever? Or is all in ever changing flux? Clouds across a sky. Waves in the ocean. What wants that special feeling to stay? Or wants bliss or some other permanent experience?

Nothing stays the same. Only what notices experience stays the same. The experiences come and go. Everything comes in and out of experience or awareness as and when it happens but nothing is constant except the thing that notices. I guess it has to be constant and unchanging so that when experience happens it can be recognised against the unchanging background.

Is that "me" the information was being noted but not by what I recognised as "me" still there? Have a look. Does it ever leave?

Yes it's definitely still here. I don't think it ever leaves. I think it is "that which recognises all experiences" as you stated above.

OK – Check and recheck with this feeling of ‘I’. Is it always there? Really?

I've been looking more tonight to see if I can find an "I" in here anywhere. And I've discovered some more stuff. I made some notes of what I found so here goes .......



Where is I. Well when I was at work today it was there. It was there when I had to have conversation with work colleagues. It was also there when I had tea with my family tonight, and when I was asking my children about their day. The sense of I was there then and it came in useful because - I don't know - it seems easier to communicate with people if I can feel a sense of I.

However it's just occurred to me that when none of these type of events are taking place, there is no need for an I at all. It's far easier now for me to sit for a while without a sense of I , and so I do that whenever I can. However I've noticed that as I sit with no I being present (and no need for one) , a thought pops into my head "this would be a good time to check out where the 'I' resides". And as this thought arises, so an I pops into existence !! It's like the 'uncertainty principle' in physics, I don't know if you've heard of that but basically it's about the way that it's impossible to actually measure or even observe something without the act of observing it affecting the outcome. So it seems with 'I'. As soon as it's thought about, there it is !!

So it follows then, that I is just a thought. Even when there's a feeling of no 'I' just the merest nudge in the 'I' direction causes it to come again- because it's being thought about. It would also make sense then to say that just as I sit in this room thinking about work, I know that it's just a thought and I'm not really at work, I'm here in this room. Work is just a memory. It's the same with I. There is no requirement for it while I'm sitting here, it too is just a memory - just another thought !!

The other thing I've noticed that follows on from this is the way that an 'I' feels present whenever I'm thinking about doing something. Invariably , thinking involves me having a conversation about something with myself in my head. This brings a very distinct sense of an I being present. I've noticed that this seems mainly to be because of the words that are used ie. "You must remember to do this", answered with " yes I'll try to remember ". Both parts have an I reference which brings about the thought of 'I' again. I'm trying to see past this by observing the conversation as just more thought strings that may contain important information but don't actually point to anyone who has to do the remembering. The words are just habit of language if that makes sense !

It's probably true that the 'I' isn't needed nearly all the time, but I'll need to have a look at this some more.


Hope this is not too much for one post. Thanks for the link you sent me to the Joan Tolifson piece. It's put things in perspective regarding weird experiences and expectation. It's not that I don't want nice experiences but I don't want them to become a goal - something to persue. If they happen then great if not, then that's OK too. What "is" isn't one particular thing it's all things. I'm just beginning to see this now.

Thanks Sarah

Take care,

Rich

[Sarah7]

Hi Rich

Once I notice that I'm following the thought stories, the stories stop or kind of loose their hold and I can return to just observing thought again.

Keep looking into this. See how often this can happen now. Then :)
Apart from that which recognizes all experiences – does anything else stay the same? Ever? Or is all in ever changing flux? Clouds across a sky. Waves in the ocean. What wants that special feeling to stay? Or wants bliss or some other permanent experience?

Yes it's definitely still here. I don't think it ever leaves. I think it is "that which recognises all experiences" as you stated above.

Check!
Notice that all that arises is a wave on the ocean – is that wave separate from the ocean? Now look about – is anything separate? Are ‘you’ separate from what is?

I've been looking more tonight to see if I can find an "I" in here anywhere. And I've discovered some more stuff. I made some notes of what I found so here goes .......

WOW! What noticing!
OK now let all this dust settle in. Notice thoughts will try and try again to come in, explain etc. blah, blah, blah and round and round they will go. LOL. They may even bring out the big guns! And that’s OK. Its what they do! Notice this is all like the wave moving in the ocean.
Anything else Rich? Anything else unclear, or that needs looking into?
Big hugs and your welcome!
Sarah xxx

[decoyplankton]

Hi Sarah,

OK now let all this dust settle in. Notice thoughts will try and try again to come in, explain etc. blah, blah, blah and round and round they will go. LOL. They may even bring out the big guns! And that’s OK. Its what they do! Notice this is all like the wave moving in the ocean.

Yes, today it did feel like thought brought out the big guns. I got lost in a story. A scenario of future events made up by thought. And then thoughts about "you can't be anywhere near waking up yet otherwise how could these thoughts have affected you so badly"? So then doubts start to appear and frustration. I didn't see it too clearly while it happened, but I see it now. Still some echoes of it around, but I'm settling back into where I was earlier and seeing this as just another piece of 'what is'.

I can still feel that something is there observing all of this - what is it? When I sit with no sense of a 'me' , something still feels and sees and hears everything and notices thoughts. Until thoughts persuade 'me' back into existence again which usually happens after a short while. But then I wonder is this what you mean when you talk about waves on the ocean.

Now look about – is anything separate? Are ‘you’ separate from what is?

I'm going to look for this some more. Will let you know what I find tomorrow.

Anything else unclear, or that needs looking into?

Don't quite know yet. I feel that there may be still some barriers. Will get back to you on this one too.

Take care

Rich