ohh, and the part that feels like there is obscuring going on is related to this imaginary self.
I don't understand - would you explain?
well, something like if imaginary self was obscured by consciousness there wouldn't need to be a search to uncover it.
Move a hand from left to right. Who "did" it? Can the exact moment of command be caught? Watch the timing - was "when" the movement happened a decision? Stop the hand halfway. Is the sudden pause planned or a surprise?
ah, ok. no there wasn't a real decision to move, more like a direction to do it from you and then the doing but no real decision experienced.
Can a thought be stopped halfway?
now, this is interesting because altho a thought can't be halted i've had the seeming experience of thoughts dissolving as attention to them stopped seemingly by some sort of force of willpower or something. But looking deeper what happens is i can't 'hear' the thought in the head anymore in the foreground but there is a faint sensation of it finishing in the background.. hmm, will look at this further.
Sit quietly and watch as the vision moves from one thing to another without guidance. Be fully determined to keep the mind clear and focused on this task... and watch as the mind wanders anyway (like the eyes), despite all the "control."
yes, yes have noticed that mind mostly wanders toward an 'i' thought or i thinking.
will finish answering later, must rush off for work! thank you!
