The Gate

Are "you" tired? Are "you" frustrated with this shit? You keep saying you dont believe in a self so who is this you? is there a you to be tired and frustrated, or are these just thoughts and feelings about lfe? Are you doing the thoughts and feelings or are they happening spontaneously? If they are happening spontaneously, then who or what is putting so much value and importance in these thoughts and feelings?

I can't find anything that's tired or frustrated, there are just feelings, really strong ones. I'm not doing them, they just arise...I'm reading your post over and over and I'm not sure who/what puts so much importance in these thoughts. I probably put so much importance in this because lots of people got it much faster and I feel like I'm never gonna get it. Of course we could say these are just feelings, because there is no I that gets something but still liberation is about a change and I feel like this "there is no you" is just another belief to me.

BUT YOUVE ALREADY GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, if you see that there is no self, that you are not doing your thoughts, your emotions, then thats it. Thats the full realisation we are talking about here. Why does it matter how fast other people got it? Its like you are looking for a reason to hold on to self, and saying, "well, it took me so long to get it, that there must be something wrong with me, or Im just never going to get it", is giving you that reason

Is " I am never going to get it" a thought?

Is there a you that is thinking that thought?

I think you need to do some more investigating, some more looking

Yes "I am never going to get it" is just a thought. There is no me that is thinking that.

When pointing to myself (body) with a finger I cant find any me. saying "I can't find any me" is wrong too cause there isnt any I that is looking for itself. Still, I dont feel like this is it.

That might be because I had 2 experiences in my life when I truly felt different. These experiences lasted for a few seconds, like 2-3, I felt there was no self and everything seemed more alive, the colors were brighter etc. I also 100% saw that everything "just happens", that there's no controller. I think Im trying to get back to these states.

Yes "I am never going to get it" is just a thought. There is no me that is thinking that.

When pointing to myself (body) with a finger I cant find any me. saying "I can't find any me" is wrong too cause there isnt any I that is looking for itself. Still, I dont feel like this is it.

That might be because I had 2 experiences in my life when I truly felt different. These experiences lasted for a few seconds, like 2-3, I felt there was no self and everything seemed more alive, the colors were brighter etc. I also 100% saw that everything "just happens", that there's no controller. I think Im trying to get back to these states.

Yes, trying to get back to experiences you had is probably whats holding you back. You think that that is how you should feel once you have seen no self, therefore if you dont feel that way, then you havent seen no self.

Realising that no self is true, is not about a specific experience, or mind state. Its about looking, and seeing , that there is no self in reality. Thats it. Its only a beginning, not an end.

There is no self, so there is no self to get back into the experience you had. It either happens, or it doesnt. Let go of those expectations, relax, look again at life and how it works, and really let it register that there is no you doing any of it.