The Gate

Hi Bill another really full on day today. I have been doing the exercises but would really like to give my full attention and more time to answering. Feel I want to sit with these things for a while. I can do that at the weekend.

Will keep posting every day though!

Kathy

Hi Bill

I would like to write in installments, as things come up and I have some time. I have been looking at the sense of not having a clearly defined body. When I become aware of this, things seem to melt away somehow. The sensations and feelings are still going on, but there is no owner, the space feels empty, but with sensations dotted around. It is quite a liberating feeling. Every so often a train of thought arises which is clung on to, usually one that has an emotional charge, especially where there is a belief that something is wrong and needs some kind of a strategy.

Seeing this stickiness is getting easier and once seen there is a feeling that it can simply be allowed and it seems to be less entangled.

I am spending a lot of time looking at this and things feel as if they are unwinding, often I look for the I, or when some thought or feeling arises, I look to see if it is an I that is feeling or thinking that.

I get a sense of resistances, but would like to also spend some time looking at what I may be looking for and expecting, and of course, any fears and stuff stopping or holding me back.

I will post again when I have done this. It works for me doing it in bits and slowly.

This morning when I looked at what fears there were briefly, I came up with nothing really holding me back, but did not have much time to look

Thanks
Kathy

Nice looking Kathy. Yes, if we look it is very difficult to find any definitions or borders between our bodies and whats around us.If you want to continue this LOOKING, it is highly recommended as it is you that paradoxically is the only one that can SEE this. That's a little hard to wrap a thought around, but I think you know what I mean. Concepts only can take us so far....

Is there an I anywhere but in a thought?

Is there a Kathy living her life, or is there Life, living someone we call Kathy?

Hello Bill

Wanted to answer your question about expectations. They have crept back in. There is an expectation of some kind of pop, a distinct moment when everything changes. As you say, that depends on the person. There is also an expectation of something feeling very different. Things are different to when I started, just not in the way I had expected! Another expectation I had was that once there was a seeing of no I, it would have an immediate effect on the various bits of conditioning and they would somehow stop as I would see there was no need for them, again this is not the case, if anything I seem to be having a conditioning backlash!

I cannot find I anywhere but as a thought, I really can't. There is no Kathy, but there is the appearance of a Kathy and still an assumption that comes up. The looking seems to happen automatically now and things seem to be unwinding more, along with less worry about life in general.

Look forward to hearing back

Thanks

Kathy

Kathy - About the expectations....

Wanted to answer your question about expectations. They have crept back in. There is an expectation of some kind of pop, a distinct moment when everything changes. As you say, that depends on the person. There is also an expectation of something feeling very different. Things are different to when I started, just not in the way I had expected! Another expectation I had was that once there was a seeing of no I, it would have an immediate effect on the various bits of conditioning and they would somehow stop as I would see there was no need for them, again this is not the case, if anything I seem to be having a conditioning backlash!

How does it feel now about what you've described about the expectations?

and.... Do you feel you have seen through the illusion of the 'I'?

It is difficult to know and I have read so much about more definite seeings than mine seems to be. I would welcome your feedback on this aspect, I don't want to fool myself but at the same time I have seen through the illusion and life will be changed forever.

I have put this back up for the guides to look at, here is the first response back...
Can you address this...

There seems to be a wish that if somehow she could change something there will be this blissful pop like others have reported. Please ask her how is that possible? Once a firecracker has been lit, it would either pop or fizzle. How can you fire it again? Once seen how can it be unseen?

I would add to that, what other than what is here right now could possibly be here?

Hello,

I know it is not possible for things to be different, but still I think it is human nature to want complete certainty.

Once a firecracker has been lit, it would either pop or fizzle. How can you fire it again? Once seen how can it be unseen?

Maybe I am a fizzler... It cannot be unseen, only seemingly covered with conditioning from time to time, but it is still seen

Thank you

Kathy

Great job Kathy,

You've been confirmed by the other guides.
You're now blue in color on the forum.

We invite you to the FB LU New Arrivals & Unleashed groups, which are both a form of aftercare and discussion.
There are a couple other FB groups we have for discussion that you also might be interested in.
And also there is guiding others should you choose to do that.
There's a bit more of the website available to you now.
Just look around, you'll see it.

Here is a page now that you are blue on the forum to check out.
the first part of it concerns the closed facebook group and how to join.
Friend me from the link there and we'll get you in the groups.

http://liberationunleashed.com/nation/v ... ?f=6&t=696

Theres a lot of info there on all the groups, etc.
Let me know if there's anything more needed.
Look for you on the Facebook groups.

If there's any more questions, please ask.
I will leave this thread open for awhile if you have any further questions
or if you want to make any more comments.
It will be moved to the liberated section so look for it there.
It's been great working with you!

Namaste,
Bill

Hello Bill

Many many thanks. It's been great working with you too. I found it really helpful that you kept me on track and just kept going back to the looking.

Much appreciation here

Kathy