Ready for a guide

[alexmcca]

Thanks so much.

It is interesting. I have a background in Cognitive Psychology as well as now working as a Practitioner in other approaches.... so what is fascinating for me is the difference between knowing all these questions and ideas "intellectually"... how a concept of self is formed etc etc and how beliefs are constructed and seem real... and knowing it in a completely different way.

A strong phrase/belief came up a lot recently - "I have to protect my parents".... and it seemed clear of course that this belief relied on an "I" existing.... and over the last week, thoughts (images/words) of my parents have been noticed so much. This belief was being 'challenged' by challenging the "I" .... or something... well - it all flowed in that direction.

Evolution (or 'life' or whatever) has naturally moved towards 'maximising' the chances for this body to survive and one of those adaptive patterns is that as a very young child these mental constructs come into play -- maybe the care-givers are seen being 'upset' and then getting ill and a belief is formed - "I must not upset them or they will die. I will then be left alone and starve". ok, so that sounds kind of funny... but the general idea!

It seems to me very beautiful that this can all move towards the preservation of life in a sense.... but without any "one" being in control .... and actually, it isn't always that "helpful" either, but that too is just part of the flow of it all.... no malign force trying to punish us, just as it is. That I am now here on this website and moving towards a disintegration of those beliefs... also a natural movement. That doesn't mean that nothing is important --- it is clear to me all at once that spreading this information IS very important..... it is important and there is also no "one" doing it...

[tryfailtry]

You are most welcome. It is beautiful isn't it? You will embark on a lot of noticing- because what comes up isn't up to you and never was. Scary shit might surface- just look. Is it real?- that inner voice you have- those nasty thoughts- trust me and trust yourself- they can't hurt you- they just seem scary, but in the non-dual world there is no positive or negative (ALL IS INCLUDED without judgement)- your reaction is just a conditioned interpretation that can now be seen to be false. Paradoxically awesome. So those scary thoughts aren't actually 'scary'- they are just stories with some unpleasant sensation simultaneously happening and we get caught up in the wholeness of it. And remember- you don't choose what comes up anyway- you'll settle in and experience this for yourself.


I feel you are ready.


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?



2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.



3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.



4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?



5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.



6) Anything to add?

[alexmcca]

Thanks for this. And thank you again, so much.

I would like to reply to this tomorrow... just give this a little while. It feels like something very new is settling in...

[tryfailtry]

Absolutely- take your time!

[alexmcca]

Hello.

Oh phew. Things seemed to be falling away a little.... then it is like that oscillation... brain and body caught up again with using other techniques to address certain emotions/sensations and the thought "I want this to change"... and also "these techniques are amazing they should be working - I still want to know they work". There is one (or 2) "topics" that dominated the content of thought for years now... and it seems the welding of those thoughts to sensation is SO strong, that it feels so real..... and is holding on for dear life. This is early kid stuff -- "people are scary and I have to keep them happy".

The flows of thoughts - " yes but is it real?" "is there a me?" "is there a them?".... is occurring too. I guess I ended up back on this website ... as part of the continuing movement of all this. There is just this thought " it should have fallen away by now!" and that is combined with a sense of deep frustration!! :-)

[tryfailtry]

It is ok- take a deep breathe. Relax. Nothing to worry about- whatever happens.... happens and well sort this out.

These thoughts- they suck? Sure they do.

But lets look again- if you were in control- why would you choose those thoughts?

Try and focus on the sensation if you can- this deep frustration. Who would it hurt? Is your answer anything more than a thought?

[alexmcca]

thankyou :-)

But lets look again- if you were in control- why would you choose those thoughts?

I'd have to be crazy!!

Try and focus on the sensation if you can- this deep frustration. Who would it hurt? Is your answer anything more than a thought?

Yes I can. The answers are just thoughts......

[alexmcca]

There is a sense that this "body" will be threatened.. the body will be at risk.... either without an "I" or.... as a result of the sensations... or both - which is a nice loop!

[tryfailtry]

Risk of what? and Who's body? The realness stems from a sensation + thought, but thoughts are inert and may ping a sensation to arise all by themselves. See if you can stay with the sensation and watch what happens. This sensation. Does it need a label to exist?

[alexmcca]

> Risk of what?

Risk of dying. ...

> and Who's body?

the body that needs to be alive for anything to exist at all.....

[alexmcca]

> This sensation. Does it need a label to exist?

No... just moving sensation/ energy... when drop all labels and just watch ..
ah - who is dropping the labels and who is watching....

[tryfailtry]

Fear. Fear likes to show up. But it is just doing its job- perfectly.

What is behind the fear? What is it protecting?

Who is dropping the labels and who is watching?- that is a thought - notice how you don't look unless prompted. You are not what you perceive. It would defeat the purpose to say who is dropping and watching- can you see who is dropping and watching? It is ok if you are frustrated. Take a few and bring it back to direct experience- are you causing anything? This fear that arises-anything behind it?

[alexmcca]

> It would defeat the purpose to say who is dropping and watching

the thoughts came up "is there a watcher, is there a dropper of labels".... and then it seemed clearer again

[alexmcca]

Ok. It is a strong "fight or flight" reaction... every cell of body seems to scream "run and hide"....

However, is there anything behind the fear? no
Is there and"I" that experiences the fight or flight.....? it feels like it... but just get a "disembodied" image

[tryfailtry]

Allow the fear- thank it for doing its job. A job it does without 'you'. We are at our core- LOVE- and even that is just a label. So it is ok to love the fear, the tears, the pain. The doubt. You are essentially love- and insane would be love NOT loving itself when that is all it knows. And yet these words came from nowhere and are now pointless- they are just words- are they not? Maybe they caused some emotions? Did you cause them? Did you not cause them?


Close your eyes- and imagine you are at a picnic- and you are holding a giant watermelon- bugger is like 50 pounds of raw juicy sweet awesomeness- the birds are chirping, and the sun is shining, and kids are playing, your favorite song is on and you can smell a grill cooking-----open your eyes.....see how the powerful the mind is?

Maybe you have never been to a picnic and this made you upset because you want to be there instead of where you are- did you cause that feeling?

So again- the person experiencing all of this- where is it other than in thought? Are you really your job, your likes, your dislikes, your pains, your fears?---or are you the experiencer? And are they really 'yours'- do they need to belong to anyone for them to be experienced? If you are lost in thought- who is lost in thought? How can a thought be lost in another thought?