Tired of the path. Looking for a guide to conclude it!

[Coffee]

Coffee, I feel frustrated. I would very much like to get this.

It's ok to feel frustrated. Look at this feeling. See if it is just happening, or if it is happening to anyone.

Is there a difference between, "there is frustration" and "I am frustrated"?

By conceptually, I can see that it's a thought. A thought that says there is no I. Much different than just knowing it. So in thought I think there is no I. When I look into it. I can see that there are thoughts I have trouble letting go of. Wants, desires. If there is no I. Then what is left to accomplish? To strive for? I feel fear. Somehow like I'm losing. This hardly makes me seem like I have it. I'm being honest here. The fear is that if I lose my separate self then I will be a walking smiling zombie with no aspiration or motivation. I know these are just thoughts but damn if they don't feel real. Doubt comes in. Maybe this is all bullshit and I'm chasing my tail? I'm struggling here..

Yes, fear and doubt show up in this.

So does love, happiness and peace.

Do you really want to see this? Would you sacrifice the feeling of accomplishment for the truth? Would you let go of all your desires for the truth?

Do you see that if you look and see that there is and never has been an "I", and there never has been any controller or doer, do you see that you have lost nothing? Look and see.

If you are worried about "losing control", "losing ambition" and all of the rest of it. Is this worry just a thought? A thought about losing something that may not even be there? If you look and see there is no controller, then you will see there never has been one, all of this has happened on it's own.

The fear is that if I lose my separate self then I will be a walking smiling zombie with no aspiration or motivation. I know these are just thoughts but damn if they don't feel real. Doubt comes in. Maybe this is all bullshit and I'm chasing my tail? I'm struggling here..

These are all "thought guesses" about what will happen if you finally realize what/who you really are. Why don't you just look and see for yourself. Are you the experiencer, or are you the experience itself? Are you living a life, or are you life itself?

Is this experience happening to anyone/thing? Or is this experience the knowing of itself.

Instead of guessing, fearing, doubting what might happen if you look, just look and see :-)

Report back, how have things been going? What is showing up that is preventing from the looking?

[Coffee]

Maybe you look and you see that you are just a walking zombie smiling with no aspiration or motivation. Maybe you look and find out you are the devil. Maybe you look and find out that there is no you and everything disappears.

Or maybe you look and you find out you are God. Maybe you look and you find out that you are amazing beyond words. Maybe you look and you see that there is no you, that you are inseparable from what is. Maybe you look and see that you are everything you've always wanted. Maybe you look and see you don't exist and all there is, is an endless stream of beauty and no "one" can be hurt, nothing can go wrong, there is nothing to do, eternal bliss within.

We can keep listing maybes forever, do you see this? All of them are concepts within you, none of them can capture you. You came here to find truth, so I am pointing you at the truth. Now you say, "Coffee, I'm scared, maybe I don't want to see the truth, maybe it turns out I am a zombie". Would you like to look?

Instead of listing maybes, getting excited for what you might be, fearing what might happen, or doubting what might happen, look instead. Is there anything separate from you?

Look and tell me what you know to be true. What you know is not what you think. What you know is what you know. What do you know to be true?

My definition of the "self" is what is always here. What is always here? Is the body always here? Is the brain always here? Is thought always here? No, what is always here cannot be put into words, look and tell me if you know of what is always here.

[Coffee]

Hi Frho,

How are things going? Any update?