Looking for a Buddhist Guide

[smudge]

So it's a thought consisting of the story of expectation and doubt yes?. Look see if its anything thing more than this story with Padmalaya as the main character.


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[Padmalaya]

Well darn it! I realised during the day that it was a thought. It's a huge thought. Expectation is deeply embedded here, always has been. Doubt as well.

(Once i was in a taxi and the driver was so beautiful I asked him if he was a Buddhist. He was a Tibetan! When I got to my destination he turned around and said 'Never have any expectations.' It's rung through the universe ever since, however expectations have been hard to erase.)

This story...this story...Padmalaya is a fine actress and has tried so hard, how to let her go? X

[smudge]

this is great!
Let her go? Why is this necessary? Sounds like a nice story...and...how/who could do any letting go?...


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[Padmalaya]

Exactly! And yet

[smudge]

More story! Keep looking and then tell me if there is any doubt left other than story. Dukkha is story and sensation see this too. The suffering of doubt! But no I doing it to be found. Breaking the first 3 fetters is seeing I is just an illusion. The story doesn't stop. It's just seen as a story. Sounds like this is happening? And yet what??...story and sensation as well as the rest of this vast display carry on...should it not be so??? This is just the beginning. There's still 7 more fetters...and yet its a pretty significant beginning. The bar was lower than was thought, that's why it was so hard to get under.
Much love. Keep looking and then when you are ready I have 6 clarifying questions.

Much love


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[Padmalaya]

Xx

[Padmalaya]

I'm ready!

[smudge]

Yay! Are you saying a clear YES that the self is in DE, nothing more than an illusion?


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[Padmalaya]

Yes.

[smudge]

C'mon, say it! X


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[Padmalaya]

The self is nothing more than an illusion, a sham, a cardboard cut out!

[smudge]

OK Padmalaya, Take your time to answer these standard questions in full now:
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you seeit now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything
happen? Give examples from your experience.
6) Anything to add?

[Padmalaya]

Dear S

I've been out all day and will be out tomorrow. I want to spend time with the questions, so will get back to you on Wednesday.

Love
P

[smudge]

Thanks for letting me know.
Lok forward to hearing your answers on Wednesday
Love
Smudge

[Padmalaya]

Dear Smudge

There is no separate myself,me or mine to be found. There never has been.

As soon as the illusive self 'perceives' a threat it polarises and here begins the story of itself to itself. This ongoing story is built upon ongoingly in an effort not to see through the fantasy. Annihilation is its greatest fear. When this is seen through there is no need for the story.

It feels so ORDINARY and completely unsurprising. It's so simple. Curiously, now that this point has been reached ther is a feeling of 'always having known this'. It's so obvious.

The last bit was seeing beyond that Great Wall of doubt which wasn't there at all! It was so easy. You led me through so kindly and with patient persistence. Everything seems so quiet now and anxiety is gone. I would have liked more bliss though. It is so ordinary. I suppose it is funny, but I thought I'd be racked with laughter!

Question 5 - well 'I' don't do any of those things. They just happen.

Does this answer your questions Smudge? If so, what happens next?

Much love
Padmalaya